Law clerk at small firm, partner lost his shit. Stay or go?

If this is your real name you should have this anonymized ASAP.

Strange thing about crying. People generally don't want to do it, but it happens.

Once in three years strikes me as an unfortunate lapse, as opposed to a toxic environment. I do three strikes for bad office behavior: Once can happen to anybody, twice means I'm going to be a little cautious about this person, three times is a pattern and Up With This I Will Not Put.

I am not a lawyer, but I'm a paralegal who works at a small firm. I think you'll need to grow a thicker skin if you want to stay in the field. By no means should this kind of thing be common at your firm or any future firm you work at, and it isn't SOP forgood attorneys. But attorneys and clients lose their shit sometimes, and if you're the one who screwed up (maybe even if you're the only convenient scapegoat), you'll be on the receiving end of a meltdown or two. No workplace is perfect, and shit happens. Take a week or so to really consider what it was about this that set you off: the fact that you messed up? The confrontation? The severity of your boss's reaction? The cumulative effect of the stress of deadlines? When I got reamed out by my boss for something, I know I got upset because it was for something that wasn't entirely in my control, and which I was new to handling (which my boss also knew). I got over it after my boss apologized, I had a good cry, and I remembered that my boss mostly only loses his shit when stuff is going wrong and he can't take it out on the real reason the situation got messed up. (It's really very freeing when you realize that someone else's emotional responses are Not About You.) But you said "I've been able to take a lot." What have you already taken so far? Is this kind of behavior part of a pattern you've previously dismissed or shrugged off? Are there any other indications that this is a toxic work environment? If so, then consider quitting.

Any time you experience abuse, you should document it: a simple record of date, time and what happened, and how you felt about it. When, as in this case, you experience abuse that's not quite bad enough to make it immediately clear to you what you should do about it, then your record will give you something you can review to get answers to the following questions: Is what happened today part of a pattern? Is that a pattern I should continue to tolerate? Is it an escalating pattern?

A good boss blows up once because of a reason you acknowledge and understand. A bad boss blows up constantly, for reasons that no one understands. In the law there are many, many examples of boss variety #2. It doesn't sound like yours is all that bad. Wait until you get the boss who likes you until she sees you win in court, and then hates you forever. Or the boss who makes fun of your clothes, no matter what you're wearing. Or the boss who doesn't like your diction. Law is a bad job. Most of the time it is stressful. You have to deal with clients who love you when they need you and then curse you when it's time to pay some bills. It is usually not fun, and it is filled with abuse from the lowest assistant court clerk to the bar registration office and everyone in between. You can stay in and learn some coping mechanisms for aikido-ing that abuse out of the way. But if you really want to know what you'll look like after 25 years doing something, then look at the people who've been doing it for 25 years. If everyone else at that office is insane, then ask: is that cause, effect, or some weirdo coincidence?

I think you should put the decision whether to work at the firm or not on hold for at least a month. You're understandably upset and rattled right now, and you're much more likely to make a better decision if you get some distance from today's events. The legal field does not have a monopoly on volatile, prone-to-kicking-and-screaming bosses. You'll find this in lots of jobs. On the other hand, I've never once seen a partner do anything like this, although I can imagine some who are capable of it. Bottom line, it seems like you're really upset about this right now and want to talk about. That's totally cool. But just step back for a while and make up your mind later when you're not upset.

If they will have you back, there's no reason you have to decide today whether to leave or not. You can give it a few weeks to see. Let things settle a bit and decide. As for being cut out for it, it's experiences like these that teach us to not make mistakes. Pretty much everyone in every profession has fucked up royally one way or another.

I've been a lawyer in a big firm for 9 years. I've fucked up a few times. Nobody has ever screamed, thrown anything, or swore at me. I'm not lucky - I work in an environment where everyone has some humanity (even the douchebags). This is not "lawyers will be lawyers," this is abusive. If you want to stay - and I wouldn't - be very assertive and be clear that this will not happen again. When someone acts inappropriately, YOU get to be the boss.