What's more important for a future career: Personality match or potential for future growth?
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What's more important for a future career: Personality match or potential for future growth? I'm currently at a fork in the road: I need to make a choice between two career/education paths, either of which will last me for the rest of my life (it would be difficult to switch out of either), but the two are very different from each other. Career option #1 involves extensive personal interaction on a daily basis, working with and leading teams of people, and making significant decisions that will affect other people. It's a service-oriented career where I deal with customers directly and constantly. Career option #2 involves significantly less customer interaction and includes a lot more desk work and alone time. It also involves significant decisions, but I am separated from the customers and would likely not meet the people that my decisions would affect. Both career options involve work that I find interesting, so that is not as much of a factor in distinguishing between the two. Now, a bit about me: I'm an introvert who gets tired quickly when working extensively with people, and I enjoy being alone. Solely on this basis, I think career option #2 is a better fit for me personality-wise, but there is also a part of me that really wants to become more social, and career option #1 would help significantly in terms of personal growth due to the constant customer interaction. Given this life-altering decision, do you have any advice for me in deciding which path to take? General advice for choosing a career based on personality match vs potential for growth is appreciated too; it doesn't have to be specifically tailored to my situation.
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Answer:
I think if you want to become more social, then do that in your personal/social/"outside" life rather than expecting your job to force you into it. Otherwise you might start resenting your work. Keep in mind that, for better or worse, your career is something that takes up a HUGE proportion of your waking hours. Why make yourself miserable eight hours a day in order to teach yourself some kind of lesson or engage in a torturous "personal development" scheme? As much as possible, you should like what you do for a living. Go join a book group or something if you want to become more social.
qxrt at Ask.Metafilter.Com Visit the source
Other answers
If you want to take the opportunity to grow (#1), you have to realize that this needs to be a commitment you make in your life. If you expect the job to be the primary vehicle to pull you into this new growth, you will most likely end up resenting your job, as opposed to really growing into the person you want to be. So if you're committed to that change in general, willing to make the sacrifices it takes to change your outlook and disposition around such things, then yes, #1 could be a good vehicle to support that desire. If not, or if you don't want to bank so completely on making that change, I'd go with #2, and pursue your goals to be more outgoing in a less consequential way.
Brak
I wasn't going to enter this thread, but if this perspective helps. OP, I'm also similar to you in some ways (e.g. introverted). I've also done both job roles in several different settings. With jobs that were similar to option #1, I often had limited reserves to deal with people during my time off. Rather than visit with other people/make new friends, my first choice was to not see anyone outside work hours, and sometimes for several days (or weeks, or months...). If a stressful event happened (and they will, it's life), then it became challenging to even interact with co-workers. I will also say that I did enjoy helping people at some of the jobs (i.e. teaching bio courses at the college level) and did improve ....but it was still constantly draining. I fell into jobs like career option #2, and later, started a home-based business (not for the introversion, but other reasons). I was surprised to find, however, that I really, really feel balanced day-to-day. Now I actually desire going out to meet people and interact with people a few times a week. I now make a point of seeing people. The difference is night and day (for me). This is also more of a philosophical perspective, but why not work with your current strengths rather than try battle the weaknesses and in essence, force yourself into a square peg if you are a circle? Finally, I'm also sharing an observation of people, too. People often get stressed out by jobs that they may even require medication/antidepressants to get through work day to day (I know several people who have done this...they tell their physician that this is the reason they are unhappy...the job). So they work at a job that requires medication to function and comes at a cost to their health. I actually wonder if people held out for something that was or is a better fit if this would not be necessary. Then again, I don't really know if this is why they get to that point, but it makes you wonder. I know it seems like a lifelong decision to select a career path for the rest of your life right now....it really isn't. You can jump any time. Try one, if you are not happy, change paths.
Wolfster
I've thought about this a lot. I agree with people who said 'pick the thing which won't drain you, because life is too short not to have any energy to enjoy', but will add that I also agree with 'if you care about this stretch enough, the investment will pay off'. It has to be about more than 'personal growth' for growth to be meaningful. Like, say you're a politician's wife who'd rather not talk to reporters or smile for the camera-- but you do all this 'cause you love your husband (and also enjoy personal challenges). Or say you're a scatter-brained messy person, but have to learn to organize your home to make it a fit place for a pet-- or a child. Or say you hate giving people instructions-- but you care about your community and you're the only one they have with your skill-set in other areas. In other words, you need to have sufficient motivation or incentive for major personality change to be plausible. This is really how people change-- maybe they want to, but really it's because they feel they have to in order to keep things that are precious to them. For example: I think that if the work is meaningful and yet draining, eventually you'll get into a groove, such as working in the ER-- or you can move up (get to a management position, get a similar job but more 'up your alley' using this experience to get it, and so on). Given enough time (say, 5 years), you'll almost certainly adjust to any stressful situation. However, how you spend those 5 years, and your level of misery at possibly having no social life except for your job because you're too drained-- that depends on just how much what you're doing seems important to you. I actually think personality match is most important. The only caveat is that sometimes we want things and are right for things that we aren't quite ready to achieve without significant effort or sacrifice and adjustment. In a way, this idea that you'll 'become' perfect for a job is by nature a leap of faith-- but it's mostly not worth it to do something that drains you if you don't have to, unless you think it's likely to be supremely rewarding in the future once you adjust. Like, this applies to all kinds of effort. Say you're committed to being a famous concert pianist-- you certainly need to suffer for at least 10-15 to get to that perfect point of true mastery (if you ever get there). But it'd be worth it if you (and not your family, and not your instructor) believed that playing piano is all that mattered to you in life. Then you could give up a 'normal' life and not look back. But if it was an external force suggesting this was a good idea (like your parents), it could easily mess you up for life. Another factor is how deep your ambition really goes-- do you want to be good, or do you want to be great? To be great, you have to go against the grain somewhat, overcome your inertia and push yourself to accept necessary challenges (though pick your battles). To be good, just find a way to do what you're good at in a way your personality type naturally prefers.
reenka
I'd frame the question differently? What are your goals for the next 5, 10, 20, 40 years? Which option is more in line with those goals?
colin_l
If I were you (& I can relate a lot to what you've written), I would go with #2. Work consumes such a large portion of our lives, and while it is is good to be challenged, to stretch, and to grow, there is enough embedded in any professional environment that you will end up learning and evolving, professionally and personally. I also think there are plenty of other ways to work on personal growth and being more social which do not require such a huge commitment. For anyone, customer service is tolerable only to a point and wears thin rather quickly (because sadly, people tend to be rude and aggressive). I think you'll be much happier if you can take a time out from becoming more social when you need it and have it not directly correlate to your career path or income. Best of luck!
katemcd
Do you need to feel like you are a difference? Do you thrive on helping people solve problems? If yes to those, number 1 could be more fulfilling in a "i'm completing my life mission" sense. (Do you know your life mission?) I am currently in a position that is a great fit for parts of my personality and a stretch for others. I appreciate it largely because I feel validated and also have room to grow. Would you have that validation and opportunity for "Wow, I'm awesome" moments in the first position?
ramenopres
Good points! Not to thread-sit, but I should note that I do enjoy working with customers; it's just that it tires me out pretty quickly. Sorry that that wasn't clear in the question.
qxrt
I don't think we're going to be very helpful based on what you've told us. Here are the salient factors in both doors #1 and #2 More/less daily personal interaction Working with others/leading others making important decisions affecting/impacting others or "service" Ratio of alone/desk vs interaction time Degree of separation from the people you're impacting. Salient factors about you: the above factors speak to you, you're an introvert, people tire you out, you've decided that more people interaction = personal growth. (Why? Why? Why?) Increased people interaction for its own sake will not help you grow. Understanding how you learn, develop, problem solve, meet your needs, do what interests you etc etc. through interacting with others will help you grow. Anyhow. Your list isn't bad. It just doesn't go far enough. It reads to me like saying "I like guys who are funny, cute, smart, and interesting." Leadership, decision making, people intensive, desk work, growth potential, impacting others are all pretty general statements that can fit hundreds of jobs. They say nothing about what jobs will fit you. The more specifically and thoroughly you can articulate to yourself what you like and find interesting about the kind of leadership, decision making, service and personal interactions you're doing and want to do the easier it will be to make a decision. Don't get overly hung up on the introversion/extroversion issue. That spectrum is one, amongst many, personality characteristics. It's important, but it does not say as much as you would think. I certainly don't believe it's an accurate predictor of overall job satisfaction. Pick something you find terribly interesting, love doing and can see lots of places you want to grow into. How to manage being an introvert will take care of itself.
space_cookie
If by growth you mean money, then growth.
rr
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