Should I attend an art program when I am not confident in my abilities?

I think it's useful to have a good think on why or of which parts you "like" something. For example, I thought for a long time that I was extremely professionally interested in the topic of Thingamabob, because I'd had a job reaching out to the public around Thingamabob-related issues and really got into my groove doing that. However, upon getting the opportunity to actually work as a Thingamabob practitioner, I realized that the substantive-level nitty-gritty of Thingamabob bored me to tears, and what I had subliminally enjoyed in that prior position was, on a more abstract level, the types of tasks involved-- making presentations, meeting with people, sharing knowledge with others, etc. It turned out the topical matter I applied those tasks to was not nearly so important as I thought. Try to break your ambivalence down into its most elementary constituent parts.

When people close to me say, “Well, this is what you love, isn’t it?” I think, “Yeah, but only when other people do it.” There are arts management, curator practice, and museum studies courses where you could work with fellow artists in what may well be for you a more enjoyable fashion. Do you actually enjoy the process of making whatever art you do? Eh, it gets monotonous often and the times when I hit a wall and can't quite bust through are wildly frustrating, but I'd also say there are times when I'm actively enjoying it. But usually I'm more critically engaged while making the work, and it's only at the end when I can stop editing and really connect with the whole piece that the joy comes in. When I finish a piece that's put me through the wringer and I am proud of the end result, I will often hop around in excitement, dance frenetically, and generally experience a rush of adrenaline-fueled happiness. If you do, have you always? Did it come to you later? I've always had about the same response(s) to making work. Should I gamble on turning down this offer to go for something I am more confident in that I may not get? Well, just because the program will be free doesn't mean you won't lose money. I've got a full tuition waiver, scholarships, an assistantship, and some other small income and I'm still in debt from my MFA. Plus the arts is a very difficult field in which to make a sustainable income - the supply is crazy overpopulated for the demand to the point where one painting faculty position can get 400+ applications - and being ambivalent about the process itself is not a great starting point. Also, getting an MFA is only truly essential if you want to teach art. If you just want to show in galleries, it is helpful but only to a point. And during MFA studies, you'll absolutely experience wilder mood swings/beating yourself up more because of the pressures of the program. From what you've said so far, I'd say you shouldn't pursue an arts MFA and instead immerse yourself in the local art scene (go to openings, get to know artists, etc), look into related arts management fields (get an internship at a museum or gallery!), and continue to pursue your own artwork on the side. But if you've determined that it won't hurt you career-wise or financially and you have no reason not to give it a go, of course you can. The worst that will happen if the career and finances are taken care of is that you find out it wasn't for you and you leave. While I've been earning my MFA I know four students who've left (could've been more, I don't socialize as much as I'd like particularly with other disciplines) and there are only about eighteen new people who enter each year.

You could always accept this offer and transfer later, if you wanted. But, you might appreciate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI23U7U2aUY on how taste can mess people up for a bit, and why it might be worth enduring that for a while.

If you want to feel a little more enthusiasm for the idea, keep in mind that you will be exposed to other people's art all day every day, and you'll get to see how they make it, and possibly even collaborate. A person that is more into other people's art than their own is going to really stand out in a fine arts program. If arts management, curation, running a gallery or anything like that appeals to you, think about all the contacts and friends you are going to make.

I only started in art 4 years ago so I am no expert nor am I a "natural", whatever that means. I love making art (ceramics) but it is fucking torture at times. This semester has been particularly gruesome. My professor finally told me that I am thinking way too much (she claims that she never says this to anyone) and that I needed to let myself go. So I made 6 pots in a week and three I broke while carving, one looked like something a two year old made and the last two I was to embarrassed to show anyone. I like parts of most of my work but it is rare for me to like the finished product. I always find fault. I think that is something I need to change. As far as getting into your program...I would go and give it a try and then transfer if it does not work out. Being in a studio where you are working with others on your craft can be a very positive experience and be very affirming of whatever your artistic process is. Doing art by yourself, I think leads to much critiquing of oneself without the benefit of an alternative view of your output. Good luck.

I'm old, and also a teacher at an art school, and we talk a lot about this in the lunch breaks. In a way, I hate to say this, because it is a huge privilege to receive a scholarship, and part of me feels you have to do it out of duty. BUT: never, ever enter a career within the arts if you don't absolutely need to. All the arts are much harder work, and often more unsatisfying work, than other jobs. And only one in a thousand get a reasonable pay. Literally, you may find more happiness working at McDonalds. A close friend of mine changed to working with refugees, a crazy tough job in my view, but in hers a relief after working as an artist within avantgarde theatre. I've heard this spontaneously from the musicians, the crafts-people, the actors, the film-makers, the painters, etc. No difference. No one I know has advised their children to enter art school (though we are all proud and happy if they do). We have a lot of talented students who for some reason think that the arts are "easier" than business or engineering, and are gravely disappointed. This isn't your problem, obviously. It's good that you realize this is tough. But you need to think if you really want to spend decades struggling with it. Like Phlegmco(TM) wrote, it does eventually get easier for some people, including myself. But I also know people who are 60+ and still almost suicidal in their anguish.

There are arts management, curator practice, and museum studies courses where you could work with fellow artists in what may well be for you a more enjoyable fashion. just wanted to add i really like what veg said here. you could look into becoming an artist rep or something like curation, etc.

Do you actually enjoy the process of making whatever art you do? Yes, I love the process. I'm all about the process. It's one of the only places in my life that I achieve flow and it's like a drug to me. But, to be clear, I have removed the element of audience and critique from my creative process. I have no intent to sell what I'm doing, show it, or even let another person look at it. Even in my art school days I loved the making part, but the idea of upcoming audience and critique was painful, hampering, and intimidating. If you're talking about a graduate program - grad school is rough. You need to have a compelling reason to be there. You need to either revel in the process, or be incredibly driven to end up wherever the program is positioning you to end up. Doing it because you're bored doesn't seem like a great idea.

You want a broader answer than just how I feel, because I'm definitely in the minority as a working creative artist who always really enjoys making the actual work. (FYI, your "workdays" as a freelance artist would be more work on the business/admin side of supporting yourself than actual creative work, certainly at least at the start.) Many of my colleagues -- even very well established ones -- talk about having the doubts and rollercoastering you describe (especially not wanting anything to do with a finished piece for a while). I'm not a visual artist, but I think I know enough to say it's not expected that you'd already have a catalog going into a program like this; the program would be about building a catalog and finding your voice as well as developing techniques. If it turns out you're better suited to curatorial work, years in a great program as a practicing artist couldn't possibly hurt and would likely mean more respect and opportunities.