Help. I have forgotten how to shop for clothes for myself and don't know where to start.

There absolutely is a website devoted to teaching guys to shop for clothing. It's called http://putthison.com/. Highlights include http://putthison.com/post/521091858/q-and-answer-dressing-for-the-it-crowd-jakes, http://putthison.com/post/7807163078/q-and-answer-how-much-can-my-clothes-be-altered, and http://putthison.com/post/359906386/jobinterviewattire.

If there is a Nordstrom near you, go there! They have personal shoppers who will help you and an alterations department.

You should go to a store with helpful salespeople and tell them the gist of what you have told us here. Arm yourself with your list and a specific dollar amount that you want to stay under (check with someone else, maybe your wife, to see if this is a realistic number). This should be a store that is a notch up from your usual price range, but not a break-the-bank place. They should have a liberal return policy or you should bring that friend to double check everything you pick out. Ideally you would go on a weekday afternoon so they are not busy and have plenty of time to spend with you. You may need to go to another store for shoes.

The fact that you've probably never owned a suit that has fit correctly is the reason you feel completely uncomfortable wearing them. That aside, you sound like you're on the right track. There is no reason to buy brown shoes if you don't want to. A pair of black dress shoes will be just fine. Echoing soelo, you really want to go to a department store that has helpful salespeople who will give you better guidance about what the correct fit for your clothes is.

I work for a small, casual (the norm in this field), tech-y company. We generally interview at least one guy a week, and what they wear runs the gamut from ratty t-shirt and jeans to crisp suit. Both extremes (in this field) are "bad" (though, honestly, if they have the chops, it doesn't matter one teensy bit what they're wearing). Here's what to avoid: -Anything that doesn't fit well. Loose, baggy, too-tight, or too-short will make you look like a child borrowing his dad's/friend's clothes. -Threadless-type t-shirts with crap printed on them. -Plain black suit with white shirt. Looks way too formal. Here's what you should wear: -Dark flat-front slacks. (Gray/dark gray is a nice neutral color that looks sharp and put-together without being too formal. Maybe look for something with a slight pinstripe or texture so that it disguises rumpling from your lady hips.) Avoid khakis/chinos -Button-down LONG-sleved collared shirt in a complementary color. Avoid white, avoid black. Make sure it fits, for the love of god. Tie unnecessary. Do not wear a polo shirt. Basically: shirt and pants that fit and are clean and pressed. It's pretty much the interview uniform for this sort of job.

Go to Macy's they have suit separates. They also have suits. Go on a sale day, but find someone who can help you select the suit. You will need to have it tailored. Accept that. In the south it's too damn hot for wool. Try a lightweight fabric, but not linen. I love seersucker, but unless you're willing to wear it with a bow tie, just don't. They had Kenneth Cole Reaction suits in a charcoal gray that I bought for Husbunny. It's incredibly versitile and lightweight. Flat front pants, nice looking jacket. Get properly measured. Good dress shirts can be had at very reasonable prices at Macys, but the sizing is neck size in inches, 17, 17 1/2, 18, etc. And then the arm measurement. For heaven's sake, when you get the suit home, slice open the pockets, remove the X at the back of the jacket where the slit is held together and above all, TAKE THE SEWN ON TAG ON THE SLEEVE OFF! Better yet, have the tailor do that. Get as many dress shirts as you can get, expect to pay about $20 for these, with coupons, credit card, sale prices. I found a Ben Sherman for $20 in an 18 neck! An outstanding bargain. A lot of the nicer shirts are in no-iron fabrics. This is the way to go. For regular daily wear, get yourself some chinos. They come in all colors. Then get yourself some shirts. Husbunny like Nautica, Polo, Tommy Hilfiger and Lacoste. Then it's http://www.garanimals.com/about.php from there. He's color blind so I hang them together in the closet. Get a good pair of shoes. Loafers are probably the best bet, brown, oxblood or black (match your suit). A comfy pair of Sperry Docksiders, worn barefoot, will do for every day. We got Husbunny a pair of Cole Haan loafers at Nordstrom for our wedding in 2002. They were $200 but he still has them and they look brand new. Get a new belt a dressy one for the suit and a brown woven one for everything else. Don't wear white socks with your loafers, get a pair of neutral socks in black, brown, gray or burgundy. Not flesh colored! You want your gear to be clean, pressed and not obviously trashed. Also a haircut is a good thing. Now you're set!

If I were a fellow, instead of just a mannish person, I would probably acquire grey pants (for preference two pairs in different greys), a couple of non-button-down shirts* in a blue and a blue stripe and a couple of what they call in the men's blogs "odd jackets" - jackets that compliment the pants rather than match them. This is one step down from a suit and will probably be at the top of the "as formal as you want to be" for IT jobs and academia. If you go with blues and greys, you can get black shoes - remember that formal shoes should not have a "puffy" or sneaker-like silhouette. Honestly, if you're not sure about how clothes work, you should just get a couple of suits since they are so obvious. Remember to get colors that compliment your coloring - don't get grey-with-brown-undertones if browns look bad on you. Go to several upmarket consignment shops in New City and then have them tailored to fit. Wear them around a couple of times before you start interviewing. Remember also to get suits that eschew anything fashion-y - lapels should be medium width (should not strike you as especially wide or especially narrow). Shoulders should be un- or slightly-padded. There should not be different colored stitching or funny pockets. A tailor will be able to make even a meh suit look really good. *by "button-down" do you mean "shirts where there are little buttons on the actual collar? That's a button down. A button-front is a shirt that buttons up the front. You will for sure need to wear these to interviews, although you can perhaps wear a soft one since it's IT.

I'm a serious believer in colored buttoned shirts for men, and I mean good saturated color, not wimpy pastels. Something like the red and the blue http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/mens/shirts_polos/dressshirts/classic/point_collar/PRD~34368/Croft+and+Barrow+ClassicFit+Solid+Broadcloth+PointCollar+Dress+Shirt.jsp is good. For an IT job interview, I think you'd be fine wearing something like this with plain black pants (black Dockers are OK in my book, but you could be a little more formal if you want) and black belt, socks and loafers or oxfords. You like ties, so get a nice tie in a print (maybe a http://www.kohls.com/1/3/jerry-garcia-tie?) that echoes the shirt color somewhere. The shirt's dominant enough that you won't need a jacket (especially in Alabama, where I don't even want to think about the heat right now) and you won't look like you're missing the jacket, which an Oxford-shirt-and-tie combo suggests. (I'm a lady who hates women's suits and is ill suited to them so I've gone to an all-black dress "uniform" with a bright-colored drapey jacket over it. I think I've just given you the male version of what I wear. But I completely understand the idea that you won't "project" well because you're so uncomfortable with the suit, so I hope what I'm passing along makes sense for you too.)

If you're absolutely opposed to a suit at the interview, I would go with something like this: -White dress shirt (light blue would also work) -Grey flannel slacks, plain front, no cuff -Solid navy jacket (single breasted, two button or "three roll two" - three button but only the lower two are usable, notch lapel) -Black dress shoes with either a plain toe or cap toe (no black sneakers, no loafers, no buckles - all too casual) -Black socks, black belt -Colored tie (your choice, basically nothing will clash with whatever you pick) in a simple pattern -Watch and wedding band if you wear them. No other jewelry. Get all of these things tailored. Well... not the socks. Shirt sleeves should reach just to the base of your thumb, and the collar should be just tight enough to allow two fingers in between the cloth and your neck. Proper slacks will not sit on your waist but up near your hips, and the hem should not "break" too much - that is, don't leave a puddle of fabric lying around your ankles. Jacket should sit straight down your shoulders and should not be too loose when buttoned. Jacket should also cover your butt when standing.