Los Angeles Life Hacks

I'm sure others will beat me before I even hit Post Answer, but here are a few thoughts. In what part of L.A. will you be living? That makes a huge difference for many of the things you ask. Previous questions indicate Hollywood, but a lot of people just use that as a metaphor, so I'm just checking. Blogs: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/arts/culture/?track=rss for breaking arts and culture news. http://la.eater.com/ for food and restaurant tips and news. http://www.laist.com, part of the Gothamist network and similar to its sister sites in other major cities. http://thescenestar.typepad.com/ss/ for upcoming concerts and breaking music news. Local radio: http://www.kpcc.org is the local news/talk NPR station and http://www.kcrw.com is the NPR music/culture station. There's also http://www.kpfk.org/ (part of the Pacifica network), if you like your radio a bit less polished and a lot more lefty. Movie tips: http://cinefamily.org/ Hipster film snob paradise. Ground zero for the most culty, esoteric, imaginatively themed, costume-optional, alcohol-friendly film screenings in L.A. Warning: Very small. Arrive early and buy tickets in advance. Seating absolutely not guaranteed. When the season's right, http://www.cinespia.org/calendar does awesome movie screenings in the Hollywood Forever cemetery. Bring your own food and drink, GET THERE EARLY, and enjoy awesome films and concerts among the ghosts of Old L.A. The concerts here lately are an even bigger deal than the movies, with folks like the Flaming Lips and Sigur Ros dropping by. http://hammer.ucla.edu/about/billy_wilder_theater.html Free screenings of all sorts of great stuff, from classics to art-house. Usually one night only. http://www.landmarktheatres.com/market/losangeles/nuarttheatre.htm. Also on the Westside, but lots of midnight movies, special guest appearances, and other limited runs. Movies generally run from Friday to Thursday. The legendary http://www.americancinematheque.com/indexegyptian.html and the Aero are in Hollywood and on the Westside, respectively. Both owned and operated by American Cinematheque and also fondly visited by local filmheads. They do excellent directors' series. I never really get to go there, but I would feel bad about leaving out the http://www.downtownindependent.com/, which screens lots of underground stuff the others don't or can't get to. The general favorite of the larger arthouse screens was the http://www.laemmle.com/viewtheatre.php?thid=2, but it's recently been turned into a http://www.google.com/movies?hl=en&near=hollywood&dq=sundance+sunset+cinema+hollywood&tid=fe04dcc984ce0dfc&sa=X&ei=a0tjUOmfIYSQiQKy4YHoDw&ved=0CBwQxQMoAA. This was a huge controversy here, and it's too soon to say what the net effect will be on the smaller end of the indie film community. Yes, the http://www.landmarktheatres.com/Market/LosAngeles/TheLandmark.htm is in a mall, but it's my favorite of the remaining big-box theatres. Culture shock: I hated the driving so, so, so much for the first year or so. I rode my bike everywhere (including the 13 miles to and from work) and felt adventurous and a little bad-ass taking on the city streets on my two wheels. It's not for everyone, but it can be done. Consider it a viable alternative. More and more bikes on the streets every day, it seems. Back in my car, I did eventually settle into the rhythm of traffic and such for the times when I absolutely had to drive, but it may drive you seriously nuts at first. Speaking of traffic, allow yourself an hour to get almost anywhere. 60 minutes to go five miles is not unheard of around here. Buffer time is your friend. Use it. Also, highways: Avoid the 405 if you can at all manage it. The 10 is a fickle friend, sometimes a boon and sometimes a mistake. If you're living in Hollywood, take Fountain. If you're living on the westside, take Venice. Most of the secret culty stuff is in Hollywood, and it will be glaringly obvious. Scientology owns a huge chunk of Hollywood proper. Anything that looks kinda nuts probably is. Time seriously flies in L.A. You owe it to your sanity to get out of town once in a while. Take advantage of Joshua Tree, Angeles National Forest, Jalama Beach, the skiing and camping and hiking and swimming to be found almost anywhere. Southern California is gorgeous. Take it all in.

How to have an awful experience in L.A.: 1) Never go anywhere because you're obsessed with how "bad" the traffic is. (It's really not a big deal. Avoid the 10 at rush hours and you'll be fine.) 2) Come in with some absurd pre-conceived prejudice like everyone is "flaky" or "phony," then use it as an excuse to be rude yourself. (People are people. Some are good, some bad. Just like everywhere else) 3) Hang out at cheesy tourist traps like The Grove, ignoring the world-class culture that is second only to New York in the U.S, (and even that is debatable these days.) 3a) Avoid awesome neighborhoods like Hollywood, Venice, or Echo Park because you believe they're "unsafe" based on outdated crime-scare movies from the '80s. 4) Move back home and tell everyone how terrible L.A. is. Do the opposite of this and you'll be fine. Welcome!

When getting around LA, it's helpful to remember Bette Davis's advice: "Take Fountain." This will make more sense to you after driving through West Hollywood on Santa Monica or Sunset a few times.

One of my favorite corners of the world is on Venice in Culver City:http://mjt.org/http://www.yelp.com/biz/india-sweets-and-spices-culver-cityIn-N-Out Burgerall within walking distance to each other. Also, don't forget all the areas farmers markets for the cheapest produce.

The only thing I haven't seen mentioned here, and it's a bit low-tech anymore, is http://www.sigalert.com/map.asp?region=Greater+Los+Angeles, which pulls its info from the police, mainly. Outside of that, the two other things I'd mention is that LA is HUGE (like, just square miles way bigger than what people think of as NYC or Boston), and that it's worth it to be really skeptical of advice people give in AskMe about LA. This one is pretty good, but LA questions are full of drive-by answers where people who lived here ten years ago will bitch about something random and fill your head fulla lies. Oh, one more: You can have a drink at the Varnish and see a show at The Smell on the same night. You should do that at least once.

Know what your parking situation is before you decide where to live. If you do not have an assigned parking spot, take a look at what street parking is like in the evenings. In Koreatown and parts of West Hollywood, for example, street parking can be a nightmare and you may wind up regularly having to park half a mile or more from your residence. Do not visit Long Beach if you can at all avoid it. Long Beach is in many ways a lovely community, but getting there from Los Angeles will make you a bad person. The 405 will make you hate humanity in a very general way, and the Blue Line will make you hate humanity in a very specific and uncomfortably racist/ableist way. Living west of the 405 and commuting downtown is actually not so bad; living east of the 405 and commuting to Santa Monica is a nightmare. In the mornings, the 10 East is a breeze, and in the evenings the 10 West is not bad at all. Traffic headed in the opposite direction may as well be a parking lot. Pink’s and The Apple Pan both built their reputations when they didn’t have much in the way of decent competition, and are both surviving on the inertia of people not realizing that there are now much better options. Visit each of them once, so that you can say that you did, and then go someplace better in the future. Take the Gold Line if you want to ride a nice train. Take the Red Line if you want to go somewhere useful. Take the Blue Line if you’re the target audience for Bum Fights. I have not yet taken the Expo Line, but people that I trust tell me that it’s nice. This may or may not apply to you, but if anyone spends any time on their dating site talking about either how much they hate it here or how they’re not a “typical L.A. person”, don’t date them. Los Angeles has more museums per capita than any other city in the world, and more museums period than any other city besides Mexico City. Take advantage of that!

If you have the financial flexibility, get the apartment with the parking space. God, I miss LA.

http://projects.latimes.com/farmers-markets/ is an interactive map of LA farmers markets. https://www.padmapper.com/ is a good site for apartment searching, and also for getting an idea of what you can get for your rent money in different areas. If you like movies, and you don't mind waiting in line to see them for free before they come out, you could sign up for http://www.thescreeningexchange.com. You can also sign up for weekly event emails from GoldStar and StubDog, for discount tickets to things likehttp://derbydolls.com/la/. If you like basketball, Sparks games are a lot of fun and the seats are not expensive, especially on stubhub. Other fun things: Street Food Cinema. Devil's Night Drive In. Free jazz concerts at LACMA. Free Shakespeare in Griffith Park by the terrific Independent Shakespeare Company.

If you live on the East side, Super King is the best grocery store in the whole wide world for produce. It's super cheap, they have all kinds of exotic things, and did I mention it was super cheap? Blackberries for $1 cheap. Yeah.