Need marriage communication book recommendations

http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/product-description/0393334279

It wasn't really my speed, but http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2153780.Hold_Me_Tight was highly regarded by my own therapist. http://www.goodreads.com/search?query=john+gottman has written a lot of well-regarded books as well. For you: find a therapist and go on your own if spouse refuses to go with you. It will still be helpful. Good luck.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ might get through to him. Seconding the recommendation to go to therapy without him if he absolutely refuses. "Hey, let's read books about it" is pretty low stakes. But if he sees you getting in the car to go to the therapist, he might (might) begin to understand how unhappy you are - which I don't think he does.

Seconding Five Love Languages. It's a good tool for understanding some of these issues and opened my eyes to more than a few things relationship-wise.

Harville Hendrix's http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/getting-the-love-you-want-harville-hendrix/1101123524 has a lot of helpful stuff in it. A couple of my friends have found http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-patricia-evans/1007447610?ean=9781558505827&itm=10&usri=verbal+abuse, by Patricia Evans, useful. Another vote for you getting your own therapy so that you can get coaching in how to address your spouse's inappropriate behaviors. Best of luck to you.

http://ask.metafilter.com/205938/Books-in-lieu-of-couples-counseling

Also... If your partner wants to avoid therapy, that doesn't necessarily mean books are your only option. may be options other than books. There are, for instance, videos (here's one by http://www.gottman.com/49862/DVD-Workshop-Books--Lectures.html, mentioned elsewhere in this thread). Or you could look for a weekend group workshop - depending on what that is, it might be more focused on building skills than on therapy as your spouse imagines it.

http://www.gottman.com/,http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=John+Gottman%2C+&x=0&y=0#/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=John+Gottman&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3AJohn+Gottman, Books about http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_5?rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Amarriage%2Cn%3A!1000%2Cn%3A20&bbn=1000&sort=salesrank&keywords=marriage&ie=UTF8&qid=1329864452&rnid=1000#/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=node%3D20&field-keywords=marriage+communication+fighting&rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A!1000%2Cn%3A20%2Ck%3Amarriage+communication+fighting Is one (both) of you depressed, or having other problems? A change in the relationship can be caused by depression, illness, and other external factors. Good luck.

It's not specifically about marriage or communication, but http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1570629692/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ gave me some perspective when my relationship was going through a rocky period.