Please help us save our conjugal oak tree!!!

If that is an oak tree, it cannot survive indoors. Deciduous trees require seasons, they need to lose their leaves every year and start again in the spring. Also, you cannot water a tree in the same way you might water other house plants. When you see lovely indoor displays of bonsai trees of any sort, what you don't see is the other 364 days of the year when they are outside in the elements. A tree will only grow in the right conditions, and what you described sounds like the perfect conditions to kill the tree. Put it outside in a much much bigger pot and you might have a chance.

Are you sure it is a Pin Oak? There are roughly 27 species of oak native to California, and another 5 or so that are not native but found in the wild. None of them are typically called pin oaks. Also, neither tree typically called Pin Oak (both live in Eastern North America) has leaves that look anything like that. Straight potting soil is going to be a little rich for your little tree. I would mix a bit in there to ensure that there is drainage and at least a little water retention, but for the most part I would use regular clayey, sandy Bay Area dirt- it is what they like! Also, be careful to not contaminate your tree with stuff from oak woodlands nearby. Most oaks in CA are easily killed by a rapidly-spreading pathogen( Phytophthora ramorum). that causes Sudden Oak Death. If you have ever been to China Camp in Marin, you will know what it can do- dead oaks everywhere! Fortunately, you do not have a tan oak, which is the most vulnerable species. Oh, and don't worry about the fact that it kinda looks like a bush when it is little. That's how your kind of oak rolls. When it is bigger it will sort out how it will grow, though it won't ever grow tall and straight like other kinds of oaks that you find in eastern North America. Most California oak grow wide and funky and awesome!

Crunchy in the center with a perimeter of branches coming up around the sides? What that sounds like to me is this: The main stalk died off & the roots are trying again. Look up "sapsuckers." Plants, and trees especially, have specific growth habits. All I ever took was beginning botany and that was almost 20 years ago, but as I am recalling it, growth habit is essentially maintained by a hormonal balancing act between shoots & roots: Lose a shoot, and the resulting imbalance will prompt the roots to send up more shoots. This is why, when you prune plants, they generally respond by growing more leaves & branches. In the case of very heavily pruned trees --yes I AM looking at the crepe myrtle people out there-- it is common to see a lot of whippy boughs coming up directly from the base of the plant as a result of the loss of equilibrium. Reference again "sapsuckers." But there's actually an ideal symmetry programmed into the plant, and THAT is controlled (in a lot of trees, but not all) through the leader shoot's apical bud. By leader, I mean, the shoot that has dominance. Usually trees start with one single shoot, and well, there's no question about who's dominant. The topmost bud on that shoot is the apical bud, and orders about growth patterns go hierarchically down from there. Now if you SNIP that bud (like with the crepe myrtle trees), or if it dies, suddenly there is room for competitors. Along with the aforementioned big push from the roots to reestablish parity. Let the random, rapid growth spurts begin! So it sounds (& kind of looks, but it's hard to tell) to me like your leader died, and the roots are responding, as they are wont to do, by putting out some new nominees for leader. I would examine the shoots, pick the likeliest looking one (most vertical, strongest, that sort of thing), stake it to train it back to verticality, and then prune out all of the competitors. I would also give some serious thought to those people who say an indoor pot is no place for an oak. I get that you probably want to take it with you if you move, but I think moving it outdoors so it gets a more natural cycle of weather & light would probably (not definitely!) be a good long term plan. Take into account the plants minimum and maximum temperature tolerances, of course. Regarding how long it can stay in a pot: I've worked in garden centers. Root bound is certainly not ideal, and will definitely take its toll over time, but a plant can subsist for years in a fairly rootbound state. Subsist. Not thrive.

Sorry, here's a link to the http://i.imgur.com/tQYCr.jpg.

Never raised a tree from this small, but the first thing that occurs to me is that it's looking pretty leggy. Pruning back a bit would help it get it's strength. Sitting in water is a bad thing for an oak. Cut off any dead bits to stop the rot from spreading. Consider a different container. Trees need wide spaces, for the roots to spread out.

This is especially important to do ASAP, by the way- oaks do most of their growing in the spring.

So, um, what kind of oak is it? The leaves don't exactly match up with anything I can find. They come closest to a chestnut oak. What's making my really curious are the multiple stems even on what appears to be the original plant; with a tree, you generally have a single stem, which becomes the trunk and then branches come directly off that trunk. What happens sometimes is that the central trunk gets damaged and then the root sends up multiple new shoots, hoping one of them will make it to trunk-hood and acorn-bearing. That's kind of what I'm wondering if is happening here. It is sometimes possible to cut back all shoots but the healthiest and train that one straight up--tie it to a stake. And either plant it in a larger pot outside or just in the ground outside. Oaks tend to put down long tap roots, so need lots of room down below.

Ah, CA live oak! No wonder I'm not familiar with it (St. L MO here). Holy crap, some of the specimens on google are amazing! Good luck with it and with your impending marriage.

Miss Patrish, it's a pin oak. Rockindata, you were right - it is native to CA : ) Thank you all so much for your suggestions! We have clay pots in the garage and I'll transplant it tomorrow. Question: what kind of soil should I use? We have potting soil for our container garden, is that OK?