How do I properly use "sir" and "ma'am" in the South?

Raised in the south. Said sir & ma'am my whole childhood. There are way, way more subtleties to this than I think you realize. For instance: "Did you finish the Anderson report?" "Yes, sir, I've got it right here." "Did you see that Ferrari!" "No! Where?!" Would I say "certainly, sir?" If you were a subordinate, like if Nelson Mandela asked you to valet his car. What if the person is going down a checklist and asks me 6 quick questions in a row that require a yes or no -- "yes, sir" to all of them, or is that overdoing it? Overdoing it. What about other words/phrases like... "please" : only if your name is Oliver. "thank you" : no. "good morning" : no. "congratulations" : no. "excuse me" : yes, almost always. Do I use sir/ma'am with everyone in the workplace, including colleagues my own age (mid 20s) and people whose positions are below mine, or only with people whose positions are above mine? Only above, and you will likely be told to cut it out. Would I use it with everyone in a social or public setting, also? Again, no. Would I say "yes ma'am" to a 19 year old I don't know? What about one I'm acquainted with or friends with? No, and no.

As someone who grew up in the south, I'd recommend to just be yourself; speak as you normally do and don't worry about being impolite. First of all, "the south" is a big place, and the usage of sir/ma'am (and other language constructs) varies wildly by region. In fact, in the tiny region where I grew up, it was possible to know that someone was from a neighboring town by the way they used "sir." So it would be somewhat ridiculous to learn a specific usage and try to apply it to 1/3 of the entire country (unless - again - it was your native usage and you were just being yourself). In addition, if you're moving to an actual city (like Atlanta) rather than a small town, then you'll soon find that people have a much more neutral accent, and are much less likely to say "sir/ma'am." Your accent won't be as noticeable to them, either. Does this apply to the police, too? If, say, I get pulled over for speeding, will the officer see it as disingenuous if I address him as sir? Yes. Once you've lived in the south for a while, you'll reach a point where you understand exactly how and when to use it, and at that point you might be able to say it without it sounding artificial. But in the meantime, don't try to force it.

As a northern expatriate, you are not expected to use "sir" and "ma'am" any more than you are expected to use a southern accent.

I have lived in the South most of my life, mostly in NC and GA. In elementary school, I was required to say ma'am to all of my teachers (and just saying "yes" without the ma'am was considered just as rude as saying "uh-huh"). Since I was 12, however, I have not regularly used ma'am or sir. Times I do use ma'am or sir are primarily talking to senior citizens and talking to police officers. If I were to meet some big wig distinguished person, I might. I'm going to be interviewing for faculty jobs soon, and I can imagine using ma'am or sir when I meet the dean, but not with the professors interviewing me. What I'm saying is, use the same amount of politeness you would use in a formal setting anywhere else and call anyone who deserves extra respect ma'am or sir if you feel like it's appropriate and you can do it without sounding like an ass and I can't imagine you'll offend anyone. We are not Gone with the Wind or any other Hollywood version of the South, and nobody has fussed at me about not using ma'am since Mrs. Wiesner in 6th grade.

What if you say "yeah?" Would you just never say "yeah" to a person you'd address as "sir," in the first place? I may be a dried out old coot (who was raised in Texas), but I think saying "yeah," unless speaking with close friends, is too casual / unprofessional and makes one sound like a bit of a mouth-breather. Lord how I love a nice crisp "yes."

native upper east Tennesseean here. the sir or ma'am where I grew up is used as both a mention of respect and affection in different circumstances. if you're using it on family, it takes on a different meaning, like "dear." as an honorary title it's only really necessary if you're establishing how you feel about the recipients position in your immediate surroundings. so it's more of a gift to use it. it's a mark of emphasis when not used on a specific individual. so "yes SIR, I would like some coffee" is just a more emphatic way (and usually happier in tone) of simply saying yes.

The rules you are describing might have applied two generations ago. Unless you are applying for a job at a historical plantation reenactment amusement park, forget all that stuff. Talk to people the same way you talk to your northern colleagues.

try and see what other adults around you are saying. it will sound really weird at first. later, though, you will feel like such a barbarian for *not* doing it that you will have to convert to sirring and ma'aming everyone. here in rural N FL, sir and ma'am are for all formal encounters (including waitstaff) and everybody older than you. in a negative, remonstrating way, they are also for children, from adults (said with a rising tone as one word, "NoSir!" or "NoMa'am!") for offenses such as forgetting your helmet on the field or taking your sister's doll away from her. when you start addressing everyone older than you as Mr. or Miz FirstName, you are starting to grow into the way of the place. in only 30 more years, your closest friends may condescend to forgive you for being a yankee.

Although many people in the South do say sir and ma'am, there's no reason for you to try to emulate the habit. Especially in a professional situation, I'd think that using the same level of courtesy you would for an interview in the NE would be appropriate. After all, they know that you aren't a Southerner. You wouldn't affect a Southern accent for the interview, so why affect Southern habits of speech? A more important difference to be aware of might just be that in the South, from my experience anyway, people tend to be friendlier and more apt to engage in friendly chit-chat with strangers or people they don't know well than in the North. So if your interviewers seem more personable and informal than you're used to, don't be taken aback. Having said that though, the South-is-more-friendly thing is a stereotype, and it's totally possible that your interviewers won't fit the mold. As you would in any interview, just pay attention to how they interact with you, and let them set the tone in terms of level of formality, level of friendliness, etc.