What is the best paid dating website with ACTUAL results?

If you think that the pretty people get all the dates now, let me warn you that online dating might CONCENTRATE that, rather than eliminate it. I did the online dating route off and on for the past ten years; I kept coming back because -- well, hell, I happened to meet three really great guys that way. But the second-to-last go-round I was 30; the most recent one, I was 36. And...the difference in responses was night and day. I went two years without getting a single date. It probably was for the best, as I had some personal issues to sort out, but...two years without even a single email from anyone initiating contact? Feh. And I'm not model material, but I'm not repulsive, either. However, I WAS a few years older than the average member, and I have a hunch that may have something to do with it. I finally did end up meeting someone through the old-fashioned means of "through a friend". Mind you, I'm not trying to talk you out of online dating; no matter what, it does expose you to a larger group of people than you would have otherwise met. But it's not a magic bullet is all; the same prejudices apply there as they do in real life. The sheer numbers are what increase your odds is all.

And, in my experience, there are plenty of "good quality" women (and men) out there waiting to be pursued. You have to put some effort into finding them, of course. This is a great point. I did the whole online dating thing, reasonably steadily, for about a year and a half before my boyfriend and I met. The thing that struck me from the several dozen dates I went on was how many nice guys there were out there. Seriously, the good eggs easily outnumbered the jerks 10 to 1. So while it definitely took me some time to find my boyfriend, it wasn't because I was meeting bad people; it just meant that sometimes it takes awhile to find someone with whom you have mutual chemistry.

Seconding Nerve/Onion/etc. (http://mediamandible.com/2007/04/09/eharmony-eats-the-long-tail/). However, this: So it's sad to say that the dating scene for an average Joe has been virtually eliminated. Unless you have fantastic looking body (Bruce Lee's, football player, or Antonio Banderas [for guys] / supermodel or a twig-thin [for girls]), you're in for a slow let down. ...is wrong, not just in my opinion, but in fact. If you really believe this completely untrue thing, then you are really going to sabotage yourself.

I'll say to absolutely avoid Nerve. I've used their site for close to a decade and it is absolute shit these days and gets worse and worse every week. The pictures are smaller than a postage stamp (even when you've paid for credits), the cookies occasionally fuck up your browser, they filter emails sent to you if someone includes certain keywords--they filter them into a junk folder which tells you that you have mail but doesn't let you access them and you have to contact support (apparently) to read them ... I say apparently because support doesn't answer emails, they now charge you to wink/smile at someone... in short, they fucking suck balls, but in the bad way. Please do not give them your money. That said, I have no place to recommend as Nerve used to be my go to recommendation (over a year ago).

We tell people we met on eharmony, but we really met on bondage.com. Now we're getting married. He is not Bruce Lee or Antonio Banderas, and I am no supermodel. He's above-average attractiveness but not GQ material, and I'm average at best. Unless YOU are setting your sights exclusively on really hot women, as an average looking guy you should have little trouble at least getting dates, if not meeting Ms. Right.

A quick inventory of recent marriages of my friends - 1 pair met via match (they're on the tv commercial), 1 through OKCupid, 1 through a dating site for larger women, 1 though eHarmony and 1 pair met through "It's Just Lunch." I also know people who met through work, friends, volunteering, etc. Some of those people were on multiple sites looking for a partner. . I met Mr. 26.2 when he was my teammate in training for a marathon. However, he was on Match.com and maybe some other sites too. I didn't do the on-line dating thing, so it's good that he wasn't relying exclusively on the intertubes to find him a mate. nthing what everyone noted about your attitude - it's not helping. Now go cast a wide net and try to expand your network.

I would say that I've had luck with Match.com (I had a number of dates and am currently in a long-term committed relationship because of it), but it was neither easy nor casual to do so. It took an awful lot of rejections, false starts and ignored emails to get results, and then it took more time to actually succeed. Dating is not easy, it's something you have to put serious effort into no matter what route you choose. I'm convinced it's a question of averages — you make 10 attempts, you get 1 result. I also tried Yahoo Personals and eHarmony (briefly) but I found that Match.com, which allowed people to express themselves without getting into weird "compatibility" tests, had the volume of prospects and the ability to filter to get the best results. I have no idea how it's been since 2005 though.

I'm not being coy when I say I have no personal experience. However a current co-worker used eHarmony and found happiness, and the kicker is, so did 5 of her girlfriends. Which to me is just astounding. Like eHarmony should use them in an ad or something. So that's what I would be inclined to use just based on that bit of (true) trivia.

I am seconding Match.com ...When I was a member I exchanged emails and chatted with quite a few people and went on a few dates ... a few of them could have turned out into being more than just one time dates, I think, except for the fact I was already in love with someone I worked with and just didn't know it consciously yet... anyway, I agree that there is a lot of hit and miss, and trial and error. I liked Yahoo Personals ok, not quite as much as Match. And eharmony didn't really suit my personality at all... but I have heard about a lot of connections happening through that one. I think they all offer some sort of free trial, try em out and see which one suits you best.