I hate dancing. My friends hate that I hate dancing.

I am one of those obnoxious people who is constantly trying to get others to dance and becomes even more obnoxious when drunk. However, depending on how the person is delivering the "No, I don't dance" message I can be deterred. When you say you don't dance, do you look at the floor, blush, kind of half-laugh, try to wave them away, and basically look very hesitant and shy? Or do you look them straight in the eye, hold your place, and confidently say something like "No, go on, I'm not going to dance, I prefer to hang out here"? You can say it with a smile on your face and not be a jerk about it, but the point is that the drunker people get the more important how you deliver a message becomes, because they're not going to be listening to the actual words. Hold your ground and be firm. That's what works on me, anyway.

Oh, I totally feel your pain. To be honest, if they're really friends, and if they're GOOD friends, they won't insist on trying to make you do something that you're really uncomfortable with. What worked for me was telling them, "Guys, I love hanging out with you, but when you hit the dance floor, it's totally okay by me to just hang back. I really am not into dancing and you guys trying to make me do it kinda just makes it awkward for me. But go have fun! I'll be here." Personally, I didn't really ever want to be at bars, let alone clubs, but if that's okay with you, so be it. If not, offer up alternate plans! "Hey, there's this really great _____ going on Friday, y'all wanna go?"

I always tell people that "For me, dancing is a 5 drink minimum. Sadly, I fall asleep after 3." My friends aren't pound 'em back drinkers, though. Those numbers would be really low for any group that drinks a fair bit. But what works is having a sort of set, humourous line. If you go back to the same argument time and time again, and don't give them anything new to argue with you about, there's less opportunity for 'convincing'.

First off - you are all a bunch of dance haters. If you're in a group and the majority of them are dancers then, no, you can't expect them to find an activity that meets the needs of the outlier. In social situations, majority tends to rule. What you might expect from them is for them to be ok with you not dancing...but again, seeing as how you're the ONLY ONE not dancing - you are indeed the buzzkill. To remedy this, why not bring another friend of yours who also does not like to dance. That way you'll have a wingman when your dancing friends hit the floor and you'll have someone to socialize with and have fun with. Your dancing friends won't feel as though they need to worry about you having a good time either - as you'll have a companion. Once the dancing is over...you all reunite and head off for greasy food to soak up the liquor. Personally, as a dancer amidst a sea of friends who "just want to go to a bar" or some other such nonsense, I simply bring along another friend who likes to dance as much as I do (if we go to a place with a dancefloor and a loungey area - which is a good compromise in this situation). Otherwise I simply go dancing some weekends with my dance peoples, and visit my non-dancing bretheren at their sullen watering holes every now and then to strengthen the bond. Do the same.

I totally hear you. I'm the same although it's more with clubs and less with dancing (I love dancing, in other environments). I put up with it for a while and eventually just sort of decided I was sick of it, and when my friends were like "let's go clubbing!" I actually said "You know, I'm not really into clubs, if you're up for something else that's cool and if not I might just head home. No worries, feel free to go on without me, I just don't think I'd enjoy it." Turned out in my case it was just a few of us pushing the 'clubbing!' idea and some of the others were really happy to have someone say that. So we were able to go do something else instead. If you're happy to go to the clubs and stand there with your buds, but don't want to dance, then you can mention it that way - "Well, I'm not really into dancing, but I'm happy to come along and just hang out if that's what you all want to do". The reason I recommend phrasing it this way is that it helps you present yourself as an accomodating (and honest) kind of guy - even though you don't want to dance, wow, you're going to a club with your friends because they do! - instead of as a complainer. Depending on your relationship with your friends, a little one-on-one "hey, I know we always end up at clubs and that's fine, but I really don't care to dance so don't give me a hard time about standing around ok?" to the folks who've been worst about it can really help too.

i am a dancer, but i don't like dancing in clubs (too crowded, gross stranger guys think they can touch you, etc), and i'm in studio/performances so often that club dancing seems kind of unnecessary to me. i usually just go home after dinner or only go to the club for an hour or so when the dance floor is still relatively empty and leave when it gets crowded. granted this is also easier because i'm not a drinker and tend to absent myself when people go off to a bar after whatever we've been doing. granted i've also been that obnoxious person that's like DANCE WITH MEEEEE at parties because i'm a dancer ._. sorry, we're just silly people who just want to share the fun with you..!! that said, the times i DO go out we always appreciate having someone look after drinks/purses/jackets so maybe you can designate yourself as that person.

In my group of friends who are all dancy, I am the designated purse/drink holder. They get to go do their thing, I get to relax.

Do you like the places at which they're dancing? I mean, are you enjoying yourself without dancing? When I used to go out to clubs, I had non-dancing friends (and was one, on occasion.) They (we) parked themselves at the bar, people-watched, flirted with the bartender, chatted with whoever was taking a break, whatever. But the key was that it was understood that this is what they came there to do. Assuming the best of intentions: They want you to dance because they want to be out having fun with you. If there's a non-dancer in the group people will often feel obligated to sit out a dance to keep you company. If you can make it clear that you ARE having fun, and that this is the way in which you wish to have fun with them, you might get it through their dance-crazed skulls to quit dragging you onto the floor.

I'm a fellow non-dancer, so I feel ya. Back in the days of my misspent youth at clubs and such, I would do my best to find fellow non-dancers (and luckily I knew quite a few) to hang out with. If your friends are being obstinate, just keep saying "No, thank you" which you may need to escalate to, "NO, dammit, NO, and if you ask again I am going to get up and leave." And then do so. If someone is actually physically grabbing you, then you need to yell, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME" at top volume (not easy in a crowded nightclub, I know). Hopefully this will embarrass the grabber. As restless_nomad said, some people can really violate boundaries, grabbing their friends in a way that would result in a date calling the police for assault. If you have a "grabber," you need to tell him or her (during the daytime, when sober) "Last night, when you grabbed my wrist and would not let go, I felt threatened and invaded. This is not acceptable. If you want to continue my friendship, then you do not grab me." (I admit to being a little, erm, touchy on this subject, and really into enforcing physical boundaries.)