Help me come up with a new dream job

Look, the Foreign Service? Pretty much the perfect job. Not only the perfect job, but a pretty good time to get that perfect job considering that you will get your start in performing this job, representing the USA, under Obama's government, which, so far, seems especially worthy of representation AND you will start this (very secure) job in the midst of economic turmoil so you will be able to chill and work at perfect job while others panic. Sure, your boyfriend is the one. And sure he has a perfect and awesome career. But why should you have to be the one to sacrifice YOUR perfect and awesome career in lieu of HIS perfect and awesome career? Do you really want to get married to him and settle down in his geographical location and sit there and rot? You like travel and exploring, staying in one city forever doesn't lend itself to that. So, go! Take the Foreign Service job! Try to make a long distance relationship thing happen with the boyfriend. Technology + Skype + sex toys + long letter writing + regular visits should be able to help you keep things going. If you are really meant to be together and place each other's values higher than all else, it'll work out. Maybe he can gradually transition his career to something he can do remotely while globetrotting? Maybe you will find a different partner who has interests more closely aligned to your own? Also, it's not like you can't quit the Foreign Service later. At the very least you'd have that in your job history which, not only would help you make good connections but also would be a good jumping point to other jobs (also, it may help you discover what those other jobs could be).

I have a somewhat similar background. I have a degree in computer systems engineering, but don't like to sit and stare at a screen all day. I think I also tested similarly on career tests. After finishing university, I worked in IT briefly before the company collapsed. I did get to the last round of recruitment for our foreign service, but my heart wasn't in it (for similar reasons to yours). Following my short IT career, I accidently started a career in project management in international aid projects (accidently because it was supposed to be a side job while I was studying something else). These projects are contracted out by organisations such as the UN, the World Bank, and bilateral donors (eg individual countries). Many people are surprised to learn that the non-profit organisations only manage some of this work - a lot of it is done by companies in the private sector, but also by other organisations such as universities. I have managed projects in a major non-profit, a major university, and now a private sector firm. And of course, you can work for government. Private sector companies vary in reputation and focus (some may work only in specific sectors or geographical areas, and some are just cowboys) - and in the US would be predominantly based around DC or maybe other East Coast cities (but I could be wrong, I only know of a few off the top of my head- like Development Alternatives Inc, Emerging Markets Group, Creative Associates International). For US firms, often their primary client is USAID, so they need to be close to DC. At the moment, I manage five projects in three countries on two continents, but am based in my home town (this is back office/home office work, as opposed to field work). One is in the law and justice sector, three are in infrastructure and one is in the HIV/AIDS area. I deal with a very wide range of people, which includes people in the World Bank, people in embassies, government (home and foreign), technical experts, admin staff. I have travelled about four or five times a year, but it varies by project, and some colleagues travel much more and some not at all. I am anticipating a higher travel load in the next year. I do a bit of everything - research, writing, recruitment, contract negotiation, financial management, project planning. The other side of the business is business development, of which I've also done plenty. This involves tedious periods of being stuck doing desk research, followed by marketing trips overseas where I visit lots of people and try and get intelligence on upcoming business opportunities, while promoting our company to decision makers. This also involves learning enough about the subject matter to be able to discuss and perhaps write and manage bidding. There are bits of this job that are desk bound and boring. The travel cuts into the monotony - it tends to be exhausting, but I can often spend an extra weekend somewhere for fun. Opportunities do come up to take up positions in-country - so your boyfriend might at some point agree to do a one-off stint at this, while not being keen on moving every two years. I have got to travel to some interesting places, two of my projects are fascinating subject material, I work with some fantastic experts. While we don't get an opportunity for intensive language study at work, it is useful to pick up a language. This sort of job might tick enough of your boxes to be a Plan C.

I think if you choose the foreign service you will soon meet dozens of wonderful new men in currently undreamed-of sizes and shapes and colours and fragrances, men who share your passions and will share your life. Men are replaceable, your dreams - not so much.

He isn't willing to give up his job for you... so he'll understand if you aren't willing to give up your job for him.

I want to throw my vote in the ring for you taking the FSO job. You'll regret it if you don't. It sounds like you'd be giving up yourself for a man you have only known for a year and a half and aren't even living with. If he's really the "one," (not that I believe in just one person for everyone) he'll either follow you or make it work long distance. My mother wanted to leave the Midwest to work in Africa as a missionary. My dad didn't want to. She stayed home and was miserable for the 17 years they were married and she still hasn't gone overseas (although she is happier now). Don't ever let a man take over your life and define who you are. It's never worth it.

To have ever even *heard* of your dream job, much less have a shot at it, much less to have your dream job, puts you in a position above 99.9999% of workers, even if you don't count dead end jobs. So at least recognize that you're already leading a charmed life. You sound so damned chagrined because you've been "utterly unsuccessful" in forcing your life on your boyfriend, when perhaps you shold be looking at things from his perspective. I always figured my "dream job", whatever it was, involved Montana in some way. There is no way my wife could stand even a late fall, much less a winter, in Montana. I work in plumbing, and really, how the hell do you get excited about shit moving downhill? But I've got a wife who loves me, a warm bed, and a loaf of cat purring on my lap, and I'm cool with that. Point is, chill. Whining about "coming up with a dream job" in this economy sounds pretty sheltered and naive.

He's just a boyfriend, not a husband. If he's not committed enough to you to ask you to marry him, then I think you should pick the job not him. Think of how stupid you'll feel if (when?) you break up for giving up this opportunity for him.

Let's say things work out and you marry your boyfriend. You love languages, new places, traveling... he wants to stay put. Are you willing to sacrifice those first passions for him? This isn't necessarily just dropping a dream job, it's giving up a range of things you are truly passionate about. Are you that passionate about him to warrant this - how long have you been dating him?

New career, new interests; a change in mindset. Maybe you'll find somebody nice in a new line of work. But it's YOUR life. From yesterday: "http://ask.metafilter.com/109991/How-does-one-know-that-theyve-found-the-right-partner#1583488"