Want to start school and get our life on track, but how?

Sorry to (almost) double-post here, but you asked this question: How do you start a career without a[n] education[?] I'm not really qualified for anything but the basic teenager jobs. Here's how my partner did it. 1) Overnight shifts at the Handi Mart/gas station. 2) Hardee's. I may have the order mixed up. 3) He used to hang out at the local record store with a guy who then got a job at this place that did market research by messing with commercial placement during cable shows. Doug got him a job at this place, again doing overnight shifts. It wasn't bad, particularly because he could read or do other things in between the commercial breaks -- and he could blip a commercial out on command, such that he could tell his friends to watch for it and say that he did it. Kinda cool :) He worked there for about six years. Through this time, he was a gigging drummer in bands that played all over the Midwest and the US. So he still had time to do things for himself, and he gained some skills. 4) Then he started working at a phone/telecommunications company. He worked his way up through what could have been about three jobs, mainly because his team kept getting reorganized/expanded/bought out. But he kept learning things and sticking with it, so he could do a whole bunch of things and work in different areas. He became known as a reliable guy with a good knowledge base. Somewhere along the way, he started community college. He took a college track beginning in about 2006 and got his associate's degree two years later. Had he not run into some family issues, he would have completed his degree at a major public university two years later. He got mostly As and learned Spanish quite well. He says that starting college later was great because he'd matured and didn't feel the need to screw around; he could enjoy the material more and connect it with what he wanted to do. 5) He took a pay cut to take a job near his lady friend [that would be me], but it also meant moving from telephone networking to cable and DSL. So that's another skill set he now has as he finishes his degree. through an online program. Note: most IT people I know don't actually have bachelor's degrees. They started with a little bit of coursework and got most of their knowledge (and professional connections) through working at a help desk or some other kind of low-end, even student hourly job. Granted, he's not ultra-driven. He likes to keep a low profile; he probably could have pushed a bit more and gotten better jobs here and there. But he had a lot of people who liked and respected him, and that has gotten him some great experience, a lot of friends, a solid work history and a job that could be useful anywhere. And a decent paycheck, too. The important thing is that he focused on being a good, dependable person and paying attention to every experience around him. Not bad for a guy who thought that his future would involve 40 years at the Quaker Oats factory like his mom, eh? You could do it, too.

Here's another tip that could help you, your wife and your baby: READ. It can be free (reading on the Web or with books from your library), and it'll help your baby's development so much. And the more you read, the more you'll learn about good writing, good grammar, all that. Even if you're just writing an e-mail to a friend or, say, posting on this forum, having good grammar, spelling and punctuation can help people have more confidence in you. There are many resources on the Web and in your library to help you. It doesn't even matter what you read. Stephen King, picture books, Charles Dickens, Harry Potter, local newspapers, something that won the Pulitzer Prize, Dan Brown... Reading, even reading out loud to your wife, can help you get closer with your family while building your own skills. If you don't like one thing, read another. Don't pay any attention to how slow you're going; just get in the habit.

Once you get to the point where you can think about paying for school, you can try some distance education classes. There are some specific programs for people in the armed forces as well, though I'd caution you to try and find a branch of a brick-and-mortar university instead of a for-profit college. These are available in many fields, from technical to college prep. You can improve your GPA by doing well in community college classes. Colleges you apply to later on will probably see your earlier difficulties, but (speaking as a former admissions person) the ability to improve and make a change is very impressive and a great sign for the future. It's never too late to start.

I work at a university and I can tell you: you can *always* go back to school at some point, and the older and more settled you are, the better you might do. When I was a teaching assistant, the older students were far more motivated, willing, and able to put in the work required, because they had figured out what they wanted to do and put their minds to it. So it's not a necessity to go immediately - in fact, I'd suggest taking some time to investigate what you wanted to do with your life while working and improving your immediate situation. That way, when you finally do go back, you'll have a target to aim for and a plan to follow. And, as someone pointed out above, I also have successful friends without degrees. In fact, the guy I know who's making the most money of all of my friends right now failed out of two different college programs. He worked his way up to his current situation instead of getting the head start of school.

"basic teenager jobs" still make money, which you can apply towards a deposit on an apartment, paying for college courses, and creating a stable life for your baby. Here's how I see the order: 1)Get a job immediately - any job, minimum wage, whatever. The only real alternative I can suggest to minimum wage is to join the military, which could really help you in your educational goals if you're willing to consider it. Work hard at this job, don't lie, show up and be the best walmart stockboy or whatever. By showing you're a hard worker, you will begin to make connections and start being on people's mental list for who should get the promotion to manager, or hired for a new job with better advancement possibilities. This is part of what people mean by networking. 2) Save up some money as a safety cushion (absolutely necessary with a baby) 3) Save up for enough money to get your own apartment (security deposit, first and last, minimal furniture). Move out at this point, but I would recommend staying local for the time being) 4)Think about what you want to do for your career. Suggestions for nursing or working a trade are great options, but this is something you'll have to think about for yourself. Once you've thought long and hard, you can try to get an entry level position 5) Acquire college degrees/academic credentials as needed part time for the advancement of your chosen career.

Sorry if I came off as talking down to you. You are right its hard to find a job with no education and hard to get an education with no job. But you seem to have the right attitude and motivation now (wife, kid) so thats a good start. You have to first sit down and decide what you want to do with your life. Thats a hard adult descision but you need to pick a direction (but keep in mind you can change in the future). Research as much as you can and try to move toward that career or job.Is there anything you are good at or do well? Anything you learned in the national guard that might appeal to you? If you like cars you might want to look into how to be a mechanic as an example. In the mean time you can go to an oil change place an get a job, or you might even need to work at McDonalds while you figure it out. The point is to get out there and pick a direction, keep working and keep your eyes open. It will take time (years not weeks). Thats why I recommeded the military. Its something you know and they will give you discipline, direction and a paycheck. Keep in mind im not in the military so I can give experienced advice. Good Luck and don't give up.

Perhaps you can use http://www.communitycollegereview.com/articles/127 to remove your bad semester's grades from your record. You should talk to your adviser about it. About the rest: It sounds like you can't afford to go back to school right now. You need to get a job -- any job -- and quickly get out of your mom's house before it gets worse (and it surely will).

Vaike's numbered list is spot on. Print it out in a large font and tape it to your bathroom mirror and check off each item as you accomplish it. I'm not kidding. Do it now. A bit more detail: Get a job first. Move out when you can afford to do so. Do not go back to school until all of the following conditions are met: 1) You are financially independent and can afford school; 2) You have learned to be hard-working, diligent, and honest in all that you do; and 3) You have a specific and realistic plan as to what you will do with your college education, including what you will study, what careers it will qualify you for, and how you will enter one of those careers.

>Won't delaying college really hamper our future? Absolutely not if you're the type of person who isn't a good fit for college! In fact the opposite could be true. There are TV commercials on all the time, blabbing about "get a degree and get successful" and all that, but it's all meant to make you PAY money. You will have all the time in the world to think about college later. For now, you've got too many other sacrifices that you need to make, to add college to that list. I know lots of people without college degrees who make $100K+ per year. Sure, they didn't start out at $100K, but a college degree does not equal money. (Still, if you want to get a college degree, be sure to give it another try when the time is right) Job, job job job. When you get a job, keep looking and interviewing for other jobs. Don't stop climbing. Keep a job notebook of all your ideas for places to ask, people to meet, etc.