PILL MAKE ME ANGRY

• So, I'm trying the Depo Provera hormone shot birth control for the first time. It's been about 2 weeks since my first shot, and I'm experiencing some weird effects which may or may not be related to the hormones now coursing through my veins. So, physically I feel fine. The first day I felt a little woozy, and I have had some slight nausea, but it's the psychological effects that are throwing me for a loop. I'll start things off by explaining a bit. I'm on b.c. for my irregular and ridiculously painful menstrual cycles. When I was in High School I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst, and they put me on the pill. Two weeks into it, I felt more depressed and listless than I ever have before. We're talking serious sobbing spells about absolutely nothing. I stopped taking them and everything went right back to normal. When I got to college I tried the NuvaRing. It was amazing, I loved it and I stayed on it for a full two years. At the end of that time, my insurance ran out, and without insurance my beloved NuvaRing is $50 a month. It's been a few years now, and with new insurance that covers some b.c. but not the ring, I decided to try the quarterly Depo shot. I knew it was a risk with my history of emotional side effects with b.c., but I wouldn't know unless I tried. And... here's the result. I've had a little spotting and occasional slight nausea, but the most remarkable change is in my demeanor. I am so PISSED OFF! I am not an angry person, in fact most of my life I have been on the timid side, usually avoiding conflict like the black plague. I've witnessed my personality shifting in a few ways recently, but I've been especially surprised by my recent inclinations towards anger. I actually find myself lusting after contentious arguments (see bottom of post for details), and I've almost gotten into a fight with random strangers a time or two in the last week. Things have always bothered me (of course) but I usually vent with friends or in a journal. Since the shot, however, I've found myself verbally responding in the moment. I've stood up for myself when I really needed to (and at times when it wasn't really necessary) as well as had to fight this ridiculous and persistent urge to "tell off" a few of my friends (namely one specific ex boyfriend) who have been doing sneaky things to me behind my back. Here's my problem... the timid me who has always wished for the guts to stand up to bullies and the like, and to hold people accountable for their wrongdoings against me, is in conflict with my sensible self who thinks I shouldn't be mean, shouldn't make a scene, and should just rise above. I've encountered at least two people in the past two weeks who really deserve a good slap in the face/public embarrassment/shake of the fist. So far I've been able to keep myself from acting on these impulses, instead of confronting I've distanced myself from these people and given them the message to butt out of my life.... but I don't know if I will always be in such great control of my impulse to make them pay! Anybody got any advice? I'm open to both "Go get 'em girl!" and "Keep to yourself" suggestions, and any in between. Also if anyone has ever had similar anger issues with b.c. or Depo I'd love to hear about it. ...By the way, for a little more detail and because I won't be able to post follow-up, my exboyfriend cheated on me a year ago with his now-girlfriend, and then recently my ex asked me to be involved with a party he was throwing. The job was in-line with my long-term career goals, and I was excited to do it, even without financial reward. A few days after he called me and asked me specifically, because of my knowledge and expertise on the subject, to help him out, I saw that he had asked other people to do those jobs without telling me. When I asked about it, he made it seem as if I was being unreasonable and bratty. I didn't make a big fuss, just said whatever, told him I was pissed and continued living my life. He kept me on his mailing list, however, so he kept sending me invites and inviting all of my friends. I got annoyed, told him to stop, and he did. Fine. Everything was fine. I didn't go to the party, and felt totally okay about it. Until today, when I opened up pictures from the event and saw that he wrote ZOMB! on the wall behind all of the pictures. I made a film while we were dating called ZOMBZ. Rip off? I think so. Makes me SO MAD! What should I do?

• Answer:

  This question is kind of a mess, and I think you're asking three different things. But yes, hormonal birth control (the pill) made me angry for about the first three months. At the time, I thought it was worth it, but I certainly wouldn't want to go through it again.