I'm handsome, excellent flirt, and women willingly give me their numbers...Now what?

What to do with numbers: When to contact them and what to say? "Hi, this is anonymous, we met at that place. I'd like to take you out on Friday; are you free?" Also I'm like a deer in the headlights, I can see that the women becomes more flirty, restless, and frustrated...I am not sure what to do at this point, should I just grab her and go home? Flirty, restless, and frustrated are three unusual words to use together. However, you never just grab someone and go home. You can say "would you like to come back to my place?" Note that this may lead to sex and it may not. No means no and I'm not certain if you realize that some women might not actually like you or want to sleep with you - because the way you're phrasing your question indicates that you are really out of touch with women. If so, how do I do this delicately, because I've had some women get pissed off at me when I just ask them in an upfront manner. Yeah, okay, there we go. They're not frustrated in the sense that they're thinking "oh when will this hunk drag me home," they're frustrated because you are being boring or repellent or coming on too strong, even though you think you're not. Also I'm not looking for a relationship, but won't mind some sex now and then. There are plenty of women who will sleep with you NSA, but certainly not the majority. I really think you need to try understand women better, because you seem to have no idea what it is like to not be a man. I am saying this for your benefit as well as the benefit of the women you're looking to take home and have NSA sex with with.

Okay, I get that you're looking for no strings attached encounters, but that does not really narrow it down. You could be looking for friends with benefits. Or the proverbial booty call. Or the "I take my trophy tonight and my phone number just catches on fire the next day so she never calls me again" scenario. Each one of these can be communicated in a variety of ways. Seven digits on a piece of paper may or may not correspond to an actual phone number for the person handing you those digits, but it is not an automatic ticket to the coat-check to get a pair of panties thrown on your bedpost like rings on a tree trunk. It's either a way to escape conversation like a lizard dropping its tail (in the case of a false number) or a way to start one up later — that is all. Everyone has expectations and hopes for any social interaction; whether or not sex is in that group is a function of you and that other person, plus a long, long list of variables. You want everyone to match up on the expectations, because people do not deal well with thwarted expectations. Dashed hopes, sure, you can get over that. Work on ways of subtly communicating your intentions and disinterest in a serious relationship. Work on ways of reading feedback from your communications. As a trend, what an average man considers subtle looks a lot like a road flare and three organ-grinder monkeys banging away on little cymbals to the average woman. This could be a cause for the gals who are pissed off about your upfront manner, since many people would rather do something than verbally own up to that act beforehand. That's why the fine art of reading people is important. Words come off like interrogation, contract, and shameful admission, but consider the mating dance you mentioned — it's a dynamic negotiation of physical boundaries and contact through non-verbal channels, filled with the surprise of learning about each other and little thrills as someone carefully matches up to your style. It's way different than your current approach, which is docking the Enterprise at a Starbase over what is essentially a CB radio.

Last time I did this I was dancing with a woman I'd been flirting with for a while. At some point I explained that I thought she was cute and smart and she responded favorably. I then suggested we go out on the porch to discuss it more. We went outside and did some kissing. The key is to make a suggestion to go somewhere where it is more private. If she says yes, it is a good sign. Once alone I usually just move in for a kiss. As for picking up women, there's no such thing, really. Although I'm not usually one to take personal advice from commercials, last night I saw one of those Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man In the World" commercials entitled "Pick Up Lines." The dude said there was a time and a place for them. The time is "never" and "I'll leave it up to you to figure out the place." That's some right on advice. The less you think about it, the better.

I agree, you're starting off on the wrong foot. You speak as though there are rules and criteria and sure-fire ways to get any woman's attention for either casual dating, serious dating, or no-strings sex... and there aren't. There are as many ways as there are women. What do you want to do with her number? Do you want to call her the next day? Then call her, dude, and ask her out if you want to. Don't ask her out and have expectations. Ask her out, see if she says yes, get to know her, and decide what you want to happen next. Make yourself available for that, and if you or she wants more than the other, know that it's not going to work out. But it's okay to just go on a date and see what happens. You just have to call her. Be honest and kind about your intentions, however casual they may be, and at least you can know you gave it a shot. You can ask if she wants to come home with you at the end of the night. You can ask if you can kiss her, and then put her in a cab and get her number and go from there. You can ask all kinds of things, but beware anything that resembles, "should I just grab her and go home?" because no. No, you shouldn't.

I think you need to understand that there just isn't a magical way to get many women to have nsa sex with you. While there are some women who want nsa sex, I would dare to say at least a slim if not great majority aren't interested. Full stop. A decent minority are interested in it now and then, under the right circumstances. By now and then, I'm talking once or twice a year max. A even smaller minority, are far more interested in nsa sex than dating and would be down for it generally speaking, with a guy they liked and found attractive. What I'm trying to get at here is that most women are not going to be interested in nsa sex with you under any circumstances. There is nothing you can say or do that will likely change their stance on this. Also, (and I hate speaking in broad stereotypical generalizations, but here I go anyway) a women who is interested in dating a man, is not likely to take nsa sex as a consolation prize. While most men generally seem happy to do just that. Some women will, but most won't, especially if it's just some guy they met at a bar an hour ago and have no real attachment to. So just because a woman is attracted in you, interested in going on a date with you, does not mean she is interested in having nsa sex with you. Honestly, I meet guys all the time who I intitially like and would like to date, they then say something that makes it clear they just want sex and guess what those happy feelings of attraction go away. Your desire for nsa sex is simply not compatible with the majority of women you are likely to meet. You can't change that.

I can only speak for myself. I'm no huge whore who takes men home from bars all the time (good luck finding the women who are!) but I am often the recipient of the sort of attentions you seem to fancy yourself good at so let's give this a try. When I'm restless and frustrated, it's because I need to piss or another drink or to find my friend or to find out when the band is going on, and I can't figure out how to end this conversation. Walking away from a guy is difficult even if I'm interested in him, and even if I'm interested in him, likely I don't want to spend the whole night being chatted up by the same stranger. You've got my number, give me an out. I don't know if you're a huge clubhopper, but on occassion the "hey, I know this party going on (here)" or "I'm thinking of walking down to (other bar)" has gotten me interested in coming along. If I'm not down, it might be because I'm waiting for the DJ I like to come on, or a friend, or whatever. But it can also mean "I don't like/trust you enough to go anywhere with you" which means, hey, you're not getting laid! And go ahead and call those numbers.

I'm inclined to agree with Optimus Chyme's assessment that you're having trouble relating to women on a personal level. The fact that they'll flirt with you in a public place means you clean up nice, but handsome only gets you so far with most women. You need to convey that you respect their interests and are safe and stable enough to qualify as sleepover material, and even then you're appealing only to the part of the female population who will willingly go home with a decent-looking, respectable man after meeting him a few hours earlier. The fact that most of these women aren't even trying to initiate the conversation wherein you decide what you'll both be doing "later" says that you're not getting a green light from them. Like Juliet Banana notes, "restless" doesn't usually mean "dying to go home with this guy I just met at a bar" but usually "okay you're flirty and cute but something is not totally right oh hey my friend just got back with our drinks bye!" I am not sure what to do at this point, should I just grab her and go home? No son, you don't. There are myriad subtle cues you can drop the lady in question so you both can negotiate the terms of the evening without directly telling each other, "Yeah, I'd like bone you." This allows for the conversation to stay light-hearted while responsibly laying out who wants to do what. These cues are deeply obvious to everyone involved, so don't worry if your subtext is only thinly varnished. If you discover that you both harbor a mutual love of John Hughes movies, invite her back to watch Weird Science. She knows what you mean, you know she knows what you mean, she knows you know she knows what you mean. But again, if you're not able to hold a conversation about your favorite movies or whatever in the first place, then you're probably going home alone anyways.

If you're unsure of what to do with a woman, be careful reading the signs and get verbal confirmation that you both want the same thing. Always ask, don't assume. None of that "but I'll die if we don't stuff." And, at the risk of being censured by the powers that be, let me suggest the one sure way to get sex on demand: pay for it. That's not something I'd normally recommend, but it seems that's primarily what you're looking for and, frankly, since you have a lot to figure out when it comes to women, it might be the most manageable solution for you right now as long as you remember that you're paying for services from a person, not a thing. Oh, and stay away from those how-to-get-any-woman courses (yecch.) Meanwhile, practice seeing all women as people.

I am not anti-prostitute or anti-prostitution, and paying for sex will help remedy the "I'd like sex" part of the question. But I think it could make the "I don't understand the mating dance" problem worse.