How can I best help my boyfriend quit smoking?

This is really dumb, but I give my roommate a sticker at night when he has had a non-smoking day. He puts them on a piece of paper taped to the bathroom mirror, so even if he slips up a bit, he can see how many days he has successfully not smoked. He has smoked for 15+ years, so quitting is rough and he is hard on himself. So far we have gone through packs of fish stickers, bug stickers and gold stars. Dancing hamsters are next. Finding good stickers is hard, though.

When I quit, I found it easier NOT to be reminded of cigarettes. Any mention of cigarettes or quitting made me want a cigarette. (Oh, and I used the lozenges.)

Nthing the Easy Way, it worked really, really well for me and I was able to quit cold turkey after having smoked a pack a day for 7 years (and haven't smoked since, going on 4 years now). In my experience, tapering or nicotine replacement makes things harder; your body just gets addicted all over again every time you smoke or chew the gum, so you're basically drawing out the torture and making yourself think about cigarettes all the time. I found it much easier to go cold turkey and just stop thinking about cigarettes altogether. When I quit, I was a weepy mess for a week, kind of bitchy for another week, really hungry the third week, and just fine after about a month. It felt fantastic to quit smoking: within a week, my sense of smell improved, my singing voice improved, my recovery time from athletic activity improved, my stamina improved, my sleep improved (and I saved a bundle of money to boot). I felt like a whole new person. Really, the most powerful idea in the Easy Way book is that the feeling you get when you smoke is how non-smokers feel ALL THE TIME. When you talk to him about it, generally try to focus on what he's gaining, not what he's giving up (or why he is gross).

My ex S.O. just quit smoking (2nd time, hopefully it will stick) so your question's very timely. The first time he quit, his brother and I made a bet with him that he couldn't quit in 2 months. He'd lose $20 to each of us or we'd have to buy him a couple DVDs. He's a movie junkie so this really motivated him. YMMV. This time, he spaced out the time between smokes and gradually decreased over a couple months. I encouraged him to keep track of the money he'd been using to buy cigarettes and at the end of the week, use it for something you normally don't have the money for. It really started to make an impact about halfway through quitting and it felt like rewarding himself for making progress on quitting. Get some sunflower or pumpkin seeds for him to snack on. They help decrease cravings. Compliment him on cutting down and don't give him a hard time if he slips up. I'd just say "You've been doing good. Keep at it" If he has allergies, stock up on anti-histamines, Quercetin, etc. I saw some program a few years ago that said smoking messes with the mast cells that produce histamine in your nose. This seemed really true with my ex and was why he started smoking again a few years ago (after 2 years smoke free). He hasn't smoked since April 1 so I think it's going to stick this time. He's doing the nicotine gum and is almost off. He said the peppermint flavor was good. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend! (citing a study so people don't think I'm making this up about allergies) http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/05/090514111406.htm

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You can pretty much get whatever you want out of a man through blowjobs*. So, I'd suggest coming up with a formula that is something like, for each day (or number of days) he goes without smoking, he gets to wake up to a blowjob. You can come up with special bonuses like, for every 5 days consecutive, or something, he gets a blowjob card redeemable anytime. Or whatever. Personally, I would find a woman who was giving me incentives much easier to love than a woman who withheld things from me as a disincentive. Also, blowjob = no withdrawal crankiness! * Unless you're no good at blowjobs. ** Now I wish I smoked.

Unless he has specific requests of you, stay right out of it - his cross to bear. When I quit last time, any comment at all about it from the wife just pissed me off. It has to be for him, not you.

Allen Carr's Easy Way is weirdly helpful. Exercise, even just walking, is also tremendously helpful. But mostly, what you can do is not fight with him if he gets cranky. Give him space, leave him be, don't escalate it by responding in kind. I was SO SO SO irritable when I quit smoking.

I asked my boyfriend to quit when I started dating him (he also wanted to quit for a while but hadn't felt motivated). I am really easy-going so I left his crankiness wash over me without taking it personally or escalating it. I did not do anything I felt he would perceive as negative - critising, nagging or withholding affection. instead I gave him a LOT of positive reinforcement including indulging a few of his (non-destructive) vices well above and beyond what would be considered normal as he could not afford them himself. I avoided bringing him into situations that would tempt him and instead we kept ourselves very busy with a lot of other activities. He went through withdrawal pretty easy and quickly and has not puffed in fifteen years. Good luck!

Use nicotine patches or gum. Let him get over the psychological addiction to the ritual of lighting a cigarette, smoking it, feeling the smoke hit your throat. Then taper of the patches/gum to get off the physical nicotine addiction. Don't pressure him. Congratulating him regularly and the concept of a safe-word when he's being bitchy sound like good ideas. Disclaimer: I'm someone who hasn't yet managed to give up smoking.