How do I get over driving fears?

I learned to drive in Los Angeles. As everyone else has stated, the key to becoming a good driver is practice. I'm not sure where exactly you're located, but I started out with my driving instructor in Santa Monica, the residential area between San Vicente and Montana (I hope I'm remembering streets correctly: I'm far away from the West Coast now). I first started just getting a feel for braking, turning, using turn signals and occassionally negotiating with other cars on the road. These streets are relatively quiet and have stop signs, not traffic lights. It's important to relax and become as comfortable as possible with the car before you try busier streets. I progressed to driving more crowded streets, with traffic lights, mostly down San Vicente, Montana and in the Westwood area. Westwood can get hairy, though, so maybe take your time with that. By now I was getting a feel for negotiating with other cars, and driving both aggressively and defensively. Then, I tried the twistier roads, such as Sepulveda and Mulholland Drive. And finally the freeways, starting with the 405, 10 and 110. If possible, get a good, laid-back (not freak-out-able) friend to accompany you. It's an added bonus if he/she is a good driver and can give you some tips on improving. I also learned a lot by riding with good drivers (my dad, my friends). I'd make note of how much space they'd leave between cars, how agressive they are on the left turn. Being an observant passenger can help your own driving quite a bit and it's certainly less stressful (at first) than driving. It can also help you become more familiar with the layout of the city. I always had places I wanted to go in L.A.: some record store miles and miles away, some tiny museum on the other side of the city. Having a goal and giving yourself an incentive may help you want to drive more, and think of it more as an adventure than a chore, or something scarier.

In my early driving days (learned at 26) I always made sure to completely plan my route at a ridiculous level of detail, draw it out big in magic marker and tape it to the steering wheel. It only takes a moment of hesitation or confusion to create trouble for an inexperienced driver. And of course, it just takes time to improve. Afterall what other task in this life requires the coordinated action of all four limbs (stick shift), 360 degree monitoring of a rapidly changing environment, and the knowledge of specialized signs and conventions? And where the penalty for error can be death?

I'm very sorry to hear that you're not comfortable driving.. in LA I imagine that's a real problem. For general anxiety about driving your car, I can't think that there's anything to do for it but keep driving it until you become a pro. And I don't want to sound mean, but you're doing basic things to make sure you're driving well, like not talking on your cell phone, et cetera, right? Nobody drives well if they're distracted. Here's a secret that gave me confidence when I got my license: You don't need to know every street in your city. All you need to know are the main north/south OR east/west routes, the ones that run the whole length of the city, and how to get to your house from them. If you're lost, know that you can always drive until you intersect with them, and get back to your house with no problem. Once you realize that you can't really get lost, you will be loads more confident, and the roads won't seem quite as threatening. Good luck.

umm. I know this may seem simplistic, but I would suggest if you have trouble finding routes, maybe getting a GPS would be a good idea. I hear they are all the rage now, and as long as you don't get distracted looking at the screen, and follow the voice prompts, it works like magic to get you from point A to any point in the US.

The reason you made boneheaded errors is that you can't drive yet. You need another instructor, this time someone who can teach you the art of driving, not just the technical skills of operating a car. I don't know about other people, probably a lot of people get this from their dad, mine wasn't around so a friend of the family did it for me. Start slow and work up, carparks have intersections and othe rcars (depending on time of day) so you have to deal with these things there, but with lower stakes due to slow speed. Then move on to backstreets, again, you have intersections and other cars to deal with, but not so many. I got real bored of backstreets and carparks - but without those boring backstreets and carparks, no one would have made it out of Ponsonby Road alive the first time I drove through there. Let alone my first time on the motorway, which is actually a pretty easy place to be once you learn to relax and pay attention to the signs. Also: everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them. Don't freak out, panic doesn't do you any good. If you need to stop and think, indicate and pull over. I've never driven in L.A., but just ask someone who has visited about how the drivers are in N.Z.

Remember these three calming rules. You can always stop on a surface street. You can always get off a freeway. You should always carry a Thomas guide.

I just learned to drive in March 2005 and I can definitely feel myself getting better with practice. I did a big road trip all by myself last month, purposefully on more scenic rural highways instead of the big E-W interstate, after which I really felt more skillful than before. Now that the sun is rising later and setting earlier, I'm having to deal with commuting when it's not light out, which is a new scary thing for me. The advice above is all good advice. Just give yourself time and patience, a level head and good planning, and you'll find yourself growing into it.

Hidalgo's suggestion gave me an idea. Since you're uncomfortable with the navigating, perhaps you could get a patient friend to drive while you do all the navigating so that you can get comfortable with that? Also, do you have a Thomas Guide? If so, when you feel like panicking about navigation, remind yourself that you can always pull into a parking lot, take out the map, and figure out what you need to do next without trying to drive at the same time.

I've been driving 25 years with only a minor accident (rear ended by a drunk driver). I engage in what many would consider risky recreation (rockclimbing, surfing, etc.). But I am still afraid of driving and don't want to get over it. Odds are, if I buy the farm or get seriously injured, it'll be driving. My point is that too many people take driving way toocasually, and aren't aware of the potential disaster all around them. Its good that you are (even if you learned it the hard way) you just need to keep it from paralyzing you. Lots of good advice in this thread. Just take it slow, focus on driving safely and learning, not on getting places for a while, and bring a navigator until the actual mechanics are second nature to you.