Pick a job

Is there any possibility of telecommuting/flex hours to A? It sounds like you're a lot more excited about it, even if B is a lot more practical. If it's very much a 9-5, be here in the office kind of thing, it seems like the commute would get old really fast.

This is a no-brainer for me. Take Job B. You're talking >2 hours/day in a car when you could be with your family. These are hours you will never get back to spend with your daughter. She'll grow in a flash and wonder where the hell you were. If you're dying for some interesting work, do some freelance on the side.

B, unless you're willing to move. That 65 mile trip -- 130 miles every day is going to be awful after the initial shine of the new job wears off. Add in traffic, and you're looking at 3 hours per day stuck in a car, minimum. That's no way to live.

Agreed - B. Life is too short to spend that much time commuting for what you already spend too much of your life doing.

Another vote for B. I'm going to hazard a guess that you've never had a regular long work commute before? It is truly soul-sucking and will likely erase the joy of the job itself.

Thanks all. Wise words. I was really leaning toward job B, myself, simply from a family standpoint. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't insane. Job A would be hot and exciting and way cool (they have J.P. Montoya's F1 McLaren hanging on the freaking wall, fer chrissakes) but, yeah...that commute. Actually, I've done that commute before (for 5 years) and, like Eddie says...That's no way to live. I believe I actually said those very words while stuck in traffic one 95-degree day. I'm going on 50. Home is becoming way more important to me these days.

I second crinklebat. You need to investigate Job A further: pay, benefits (is the health plan better for you and your growing family?), will they help you find daycare (or do they offer it on-site?), will they let you flex your hours to do work from a dedicated home office if all your doing is design and not meetings?,

I have had a similar commute to the one Job A would require (80 miles each way) and it is not something I would recommend. I say that as someone who practically lived in her car before I took on such a commute. Not only is it a ridiculous amount of time to spend in your car every day, you have to go to bed earlier to make sure you're alert enough in the morning to make the drive. Honestly, that's what was the worst part about it for me, and it's something I hadn't even considered: assuming I got out at 5, with traffic I'd be home by 6:30 or 7, and I'd have to force myself to be in bed by 11 or 11:30 so I could get up at 5:30 and be awake enough not to be a road hazard. I didn't always succeed, and an hour into the drive when your eyelids start to get heavy is not a fun time to realize that there's no good place to pull over for a catnap. Sorry for my dire tone, but I really thought I'd be okay with such a long commute and I really wasn't. If I was on my own I might not have minded as much, but you don't realize how little time 4-5 hours in the evening is when you just finished a hectic drive, and still have to eat dinner and work out/help kids with homework/walk the dog/etc. before you get any down time. Either way, congrats on the good job luck and I hope whichever one you choose works out for you!

I'm with the people who say no way to 2h a day. Over a workweek that's 8h, a whole additional workday! I think of that as a job where I'm only being paid for 5/6th of my work. I also agree that you should just be blunt with job A and see if they're game for some kind of telecommute. Negotiating for something you're prepared to walk away from is a great joy - you can't lose!