How do I make plans for the future knowing I have MS?

I don't have any personal experience with MS. However, I have a lot of experience - first hand and through acquaintances - with disability. Go for the career. Doesn't really matter what it is, although you may want to consider developing skills that will keep you paid if and when you become impaired. Don't necessarily drop the nursing idea, but maybe take electives in writing or other general skills that will serve you well no matter where you go. Maybe consider one of the many careers that would put you in a position to support healthcare providers from an administrative position? On the other hand, if you find a major or concentration that you like that isn't nursing, you could go for that, too. The point here is that you can continue to live a normal life, even when the MS kicks in and you are limited in one way or another, so you shouldn't write yourself off. What you're going through right now is very common for people who acquire their disabilities, and you are in the awkward situation of knowing you will have a disability, but not yet having any idea of how it will impact you. Even once it does "hit", however, there will likely be a period where you grieve for what you feel you've lost. Depending on your college, you may be able to talk to a counselor or psychologist at student health services, or ask your doctor for a recommendation. I know it's hard to fit in between work and school, but it can really pay off - and at student health services in particular, they will understand that you have a busy schedule. Dealing with the psychological impact of a long-term disability is as important as dealing with the physiological one. One last thing: you say, "it's hard to whine to people who are actually experiencing the symptoms that I'm worried about". But consider that many, or even all, of them were once in your shoes, so they'll know what you're going through right now. And what you're going through is not easy - this is a big adjustment. As you say, it is a real and valid problem. Note also that not everyone would choose to trade with you; I suspect many of the commenters on those boards have made their peace with MS, and are happier having done so, their increased symptoms notwithstanding. Good luck!

Anon--This is it. This is your life. No do-overs or take-backs. You can either let your life be defined by the disease, or you can define it yourself in defiance of the disease. Define it yourself.

Repeating just about all the other responses, my heart goes out to you, and you have to just take your life as it comes and not worry about what may or may not happen. As adamrice said, don't let MS define you. It is just one aspect of who you are, don't let it overshadow anything else. I wonder if I might be a bit crazy, but late last year I invested pretty much all I have into buying a business (solo massage therapy clinic). I took over in January, and in February had my biggest exacerbation to date. I managed to work through it - NOONE noticed anything was wrong with me. Since I am my own boss, I can take time off when I need it without answering to anyone else. What I'm trying to get at here is that if I'd let my fears about future disability get to me, I would never have taken on this business, which is just the best thing I've done for my future. I am single (once more) have a daughter who will be 13 in March. I have pondered the concept of more children (not seriously, but as a *what if*) and that is indeed a complex issue that requires much discussion between you and your partner and the medical professionals. I am an occasional visitor to some of the MS forums, but as you noted, it can be hard chatting to people on the more severe end of the scale about the disease. I find that I can't relate you where they are at in their stage, mostly because i try not to think about those extreme possibilites too much as it saddens me. Having said that though, I have chatted to several people at a similar stage to where I am at, which has been incredibly positive. It's also rewarding just to be there for when newly diagnosed people( or relatives or friends) at that shellshocked stage come in looking for some answers. I know how isolating it can be when it comes to informing those around you. I believe it should be on a need to know basis. Watch out for depression, if you start feeling depressed do whatever you need to to overcome it - see a counsellor, exercise, medication, meditation, whatever. Educate yourself about MS, http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Knowledge%20is%20Power.asp. MS is a kick in the gut, and can hit when you least expect it. Or it may just sit there and do nothing. Keep persective, treat yourself well and most important, live your life to the full. Please feel free to email me for any reason.

and you are in the awkward situation of knowing you will have a disability The weird thing is, s/he can't know that. It isn't always disabling - there are a very small number of so-called benign cases. It's not something anyone would want to count on, though.

Dilettante: true. But the point remains pretty much the same. There is this looming "threat" of disability, but the poster has no way of knowing what the specifics will be. Not that knowing the specifics would help much - knowing that you're going to lose X function doesn't really help you understand what that will mean for your life(style). So the poster is in a psychological position similar to that of someone who has just acquired a disability, but with all the uncertainty of being unable to live with the disability and explore what it means.

MS is definitely not a guarantee of disability; 75% of MS patients never need a wheelchair (at least according to my out-of-date copy of http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000H2MSBU/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/) Obviously, a big problem with MS is the uncertainty, and that can be as difficult to deal with as some physical symptoms, even though there aren't any support forums for that. You've got a lot of life changes happening and you're trying to fit it all into a future that's uncertain. If that's not a recipe for stress and anxiety, I don't know what is. I asked a friend about her relapsing/remitting MS about 6 years after she was diagnosed and she said, "I've got a husband, two kids, and a dog. MS is the least of my problems." Now, nearly 6 years after that, it's still the case. I think that there are a ton of people out there with MS that we never hear from because it's just not a big deal in their lives. Unfortunately, that means we hear a lot about MS from people who are having significant disabilities, and that tends to skew our idea of how bad MS really is. So, having said that, you need to try to put those MS doomsday scenarios in perspective and remember that you will very likely be healthy enough to raise children and stay in your career well past the time when your employer will have recouped the costs of your college education. Don't hide because you're afraid of something you can't be certain will happen. Live it up. Get married. Have kids. And yes, try to consider therapy, not just because you have MS but because you've got mad stress (and sometimes it really helps just to dump that on someone who isn't your mother).

Go for college, go into the career. You have no way of knowing for certain about the diagnosis, and you've spent four years without symptoms. As for having a child, that's a decision for two. Talk it over with your fiance, find out what she thinks about it. You don't need to feel guilty over a condition that you simply cannot control. It sounds as if you have started to live life now that you worry about how much time you have to do things. Stick with that. If you live to the age of ninety and never experience a symptom, live such that you look back and are proud of what you've done. Likewise, if you can't walk in a year's time, know that you've made the most of the healthy time you've had. On top of that, live to the fullest you can, even if things become more difficult. Disability is not death. If you let yourself worry about disappointing everyone, you will disappoint yourself to death. You've made good choices so far, it sounds. Get back out there and keep on living!

I won't repeat what everyone else said about MS being unpredictable. I've seen it go both ways in people who are close to me. You can't know. I will say this: The only disability you have right now is fear. If you don't go for the career you're just sitting around waiting to die. And you have to find someone you can talk about your fears (Not your finance or someone you live with) or they will consume you. Or at very least you'll blow them out of proportion like you've been doing. If you don't have a good confidant, find a counselor. If cost is a problem, you should be able to get one through student services.

First of all, my heart really goes out to you, OP. I have not had to personally deal with MS or any other physical disability - however, I think that the MS itself isn't what is hurting you so much right now, it's just the fact that you don't know what's going to happen down the road. You may not be able to do your job in the future, but you very well may. Since you're not symptomatic now, if you love the idea of pursuing this career, then go for it. Take the chance. For all you know, you might decide to change career paths in 5-10 years anyway, or decide to be a stay-at-home parent, or go back to school for further education which would allow you to teach. Your employer is not going to think that it was sneaky of you to take the opportunity, and it's really none of their business anyway. You are going into this with the full intent of doing your best at school and at your career. Your employer is taking a chance on you, but it's a chance they know they are taking. For all they know, you could quit halfway through the program, and decide to switch careers. Don't feel a sense of obligation beyond that which you have agreed to. It kind of sounds to me like things are starting to go really well for you in life, and now you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can see how having the possibility of MS symptoms looming over you could cast a shadow on all of the good things that are happening to you. But because you don't know what's going to happen, just embrace the here & now. Talk about your dreams & goals with your significant other, and don't count things out just because of what might happen. As you said, anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow. No one knows what the future holds. Also, I feel like I suggest this a lot, but I strongly suggest contacting a therapist to talk to about these issues. People with a diagnosis of an illness or disability are prone to depression, and maybe having someone experienced with these situations can help you work through your feelings and help you learn to cope with this unknown that is putting a damper on what should be a really great time in your life.