I need advice on how to find and communicate with a hairstylist or barber.

One trick that someone mentioned on ask.mefi before is this: after you get a good haircut, ask the person who cut your hair what you should have asked for to get that exact haircut. They'll tell you the exact terms that set off the lightbulbs in a stylist's head. Then you can use the right terms when you go to someone who isn't two hours away.

Don't go to Great Clips. That's my first advice. Also don't go to anywhere that's in a Wal Mart. (Well, I go there if I need a buzz cut, but not for anything else...) I've always just suffered through some bad haircuts until I found a good stylist. Right now, I've had the great luck to have a Bishop's Barbershop (It's all indy rock and shit) open up in an area I frequent; there's one stylist there that does a passable job every time on my noggin. There's another that's quite simply an artist; he blends in a way that doesn't even look like your hair's blended. Be careful with terms. Some stylists are self-trained and only went to the classes they absolutely needed to for the state certification; different stylists call different things by different names.

I always try to get a hairdresser in his or her forties or fifties, and I never let anyone under 30 cut my hair. Experience counts, and nobody lasts in that job that long unless they're good at it.

I always consult a local magazine or newspaper's "best of" list--one of those annual features where they ask readers to vote on their favorite businesses. It's also possible to ask your old stylist for a referral. But, sometimes, cities just lack good stylists. My college town was like that when I lived there.

This is a good AskMe question! I have often wondered how my "shorter here" "keep this longish" translates to professional hair people. Many hair or beauty schools offer free haircuts, providing you're willing to "go under the knife" of someone less experienced (you are their experience). There is almost always an instructor present at these -- just in case questions arise. In my personal experience, I have found that gay male hairdressers tend to be the best at translating my feeble instructions into something that looks good. This is from my very small personal sample of about 7 hairdressers in my entire life; when I get a good one, I stick with them until either I or they move. I realize this doesn't mean all gay people make good hairdressers, or even that all gay hairdressers are good hairdressers. Like I said, it's just the experience I've had. My GF usually takes a few pictures from magazines along and they work from those. I look forward to any good advice from people who have real working experience in the field.

In areas of relatively uniform hair length (generally around the sides and back of the head), it can be specified in terms of the attachment on the clipper, which begins at #1 for very short and increases for greater length. As for the top parts of the head, I generally try to specify in terms of fraction (e.g. "half off") instead of the vague "medium-short, please." I suspect working from a picture would be best, though I've never bothered to try.

I always try to get a hairdresser in his or her forties or fifties, and I never let anyone under 30 cut my hair. Experience counts, and nobody lasts in that job that long unless they're good at it. I got a pretty awful haircut from a guy in his 40s once. Just chipping in.