Survey Question: Which particular characteristics do women find attractive/unattractive in a man, and to what degrees?

1. Height (I prefer men who are much taller) 2. Cheap - I hate men who are cheapos 3. A general lack of hygiene 4. Manners - I think there are some things men should always do, like opening doors, carrying all shopping bags etc 5. Bad taste in clothing

My major turn-off is too much too soon.  Assuming intimacy before intimacy is established.  But if there is visible sizzle, then yes, be willing to take the first step.  I used to be the initiator in all of my relationships, but I found something about that doesn't work. Pursuit seems to be fundamental to chemistry and long-term appreciation.  Also unattractive, being a douche or a jerk to people, though that is a bit hard to explain.  You just know it when you see it.

DO NOT WANT: a guy who thinks he is doing me a favor a guy who laughs at his own jokes, but not mine a guy who smells bad or is actually dirty or has gnarly feet and toenails a Republican a guy who condescends to me or my friends a guy who acts like a jerk to waiters, retail clerks, and other service workers a guy who is anti-choice a guy who holds racist, sexist, anti-gay or otherwise bigoted views a guy who is obsessed with his own body (or, God forbid, bodily functions or secretions) a guy who thinks my work is less important than his a guy who cares 2x more about his clothes than I do about mine generally speaking, a douchebag or an asshole

As a newly single 40 year old woman I have thought long and hard about what I want/need to find in a man.  Of course, we all have a "type" that we are attracted too.  I like tall men with dark hair and an athletic build but that doesn' t mean that if I met a man with no hair I would brush him off immediately.  It's the whole package that counts.  I will not date a man who is emotionally vacant and cannot hold an intelligent conversation.  I have done a lot of online dating and it's an immediate turn off for me if he cannot spell or uses horrible grammar when writing about himself on a profile.  I am not old fashioned but I do require respect, for instance, I talked to a guy today from the dating site I am on.  He wanted to come to my house tonight and watch a movie.  When we talked later in the day to confirm plans he asked if he could stay the night.  I was totally floored because, HELLO...I have never met you...It was completely disrespectful and a total turn off.  Besides basic hygiene, I really don't think that you should focus so much on what women want physically because like I said before, every woman has a type just like men do.  You can't change who you are physically but mentally/emotionally you can do a lot to attract a woman like; connect with her emotionally by listening and asking questions about her, engage in the conversation with eye contact and a smile (not a creepy one!). A woman does want a man to take care of her by planning the date, opening the doors, pulling out her chair, etc. .  Women want to feel safe and protected just like men want to feel respected and appreciated.  Confidence is attractive, arrogance is not. Negativity is very unattractive to me, I spoke to a guy about a week ago and he was such a "life suck", he hated his job, his ex and everything else....It was so depressing having a conversation with him by the time we got off the phone I wanted to slit my wrists! :)  Anyway, I could go on and on but my biggest point is not to focus on the physical because believe me, finding an emotionally healthy man who is kind, honest, confident, ambitious, caring, positive and loving is 100% a winner!!

This question is fundamentally unanswerable in any kind of generalised way. Your details contain a number of assumptions about what ALL men like... but I know that your list is incorrect, because women with many or all of those traits are found attractive by one or more men. In the same way that your list demonstrates your, and possibly your friends', preferences, a list from any one woman will only demonstrate a subset of all women's preferences. The best advice that anyone can get about what others like is to be yourself and find someone who likes you as you are.

Let me work through your list:Height Not a big deal. I'm 5'9 and I'd prefer not to feel awkwardly gargantuan, I guess, but the difference would have to be pretty significant before I'd even consider it. Weight I tend to notice cute chubby people sooner, but I wouldn't turn anyone down because they had a smaller body type. Job I'd definitely prefer someone who doesn't need me to support them. I'd prefer you either be happy with your career or working to change it (applying to other jobs, going back to school, something). Whether it's your McJob or your terrible law partners, I'd rather not date you if you're miserable but you'd rather complain than do anything about it. Enormous Muscles Not my thing. It's not a dealbreaker if you have them, but if you're a bully to anyone, I'm gone.Unusually witty/crude I like bantering with people sometimes, it's fun. Some kinds of crude humor can be really funny, and some can be really gross. I would never want anyone to change their sense of humor for me, but having a sense of humor that meshes with mine is going to be a big part of whether I think we're simpatico. Hygiene Good hygiene is fantastic. Lack of hygiene is gross. Really obsessive hygiene is probably a bit much for me.Messy Apartment Straight and sanitary is awesome. Somewhat chaotic and messy is just as great with me. If you could go on Hoarders, that's not a good sign. Obsessive cleanliness is an admirable quality, but we're going to drive each other crazy, because that's not a standard I'm really going to even try to live up to.Dressing more or less formally Pacific Northwest casual is great. Hacker and gamer shirts and jeans are great. If you have a collection of Hawaiian shirts, I'll probably think it's adorable. If your clothes are gross, then we're back to "hygiene". If you look great in suits and like to prove it, I certainly won't turn up my nose. If you're into really fancy designer clothes, I'll be impressed, but it's too much, and I'll feel overwhelmed.Living with the parents People have all sorts of reasons for all sorts of things. But if your mom still runs your life and/or picks up after you, that's definitely too much for me. Political/ religious views If your political/economic views are fundamentally "every man for himself", that's a tough one for me. If your religious views involve rejecting or being offended by anyone who doesn't believe the same thing you do, that's a dealbreaker. If you believe I'm going to Hell, that's definitely a dealbreaker If you believe I'm a moron for not being an atheist, that's a dealbreaker. If you can accept other people, I can accept someone from any major belief system or the absence thereof.Bonus points if you'll (politely) come to my Unitarian-Universalist church with me at least a time or two to try it. Children I can't bear them. I am a non-custodial parent. That had better be ok with you, and I would (eventually) have to feel comfortable having you around when my kids are there.Old fashioned courtesy Hold doors for everyone or not at all. Be polite to everyone, including waiters and other service workers. Standing when I enter a room and things like that is a bit much -- but if you do it at first, I'll tell you so and ask you to dial it back. As long as you're willing to listen, we're golden.Complexion Not a big deal. If you have skin care issues, I will be sympathetic, just like with any other health issues. Goals or dreams If you have things you want to do, try to do them! If you just want to daydream instead of actually making them happen, that's fine as long as you're not bitter about the fact that that won't make them come true. If you are a really driven, ambitious person, that's not a good fit for me. Attitude and personality A fundamentally positive attitude toward life is important to me. I suffer from depression, and negative people are literally bad for my health. Which is not to say that I expect you to be all sunshine and rainbows -- people have good days and bad days, and people will struggle with things. But I can't afford to date someone who is a big energy drain.Hair Any is fine. None is fine, too. Hygiene is relevant here too.Eyes Don't care what color they are. If I'm into you, I'm pretty sure I will love your eyes, and if I'm not into you, there's nothing about them that will help. Astrology I won't believe in it, but I would never feel the need to disprove it either. If it's your thing, I will be respectful, and I will see you reading my fortune as a wonderful, caring act. If you are an scientific atheist, I respect those beliefs enormously, but I will deduct huge points if you are belligerent or rude toward people who do believe in supernatural things (unless you are being actively provoked). Bad breath If it's a medical condition, I respect that. If you just have bad hygiene, see above. I'm not obsessive about things like this, but please make at least some effort.Skill at kissing / sexual ability / virgin I don't expect skill, I want communication. If you're a virgin but we can talk about what we enjoy and can be open about things as we go, that's great with me. If you are the best lover in the world but we can't communicate about things, it won't work.If you're asexual, I'd need a lot of discussion about relationship boundaries and what we do or don't like to see if things could work. If you don't enjoy physical touch in general, I don't think I could handle that.Physical Characteristics Not much. I tend to fall in love with people by getting to know them and then fall in love with their bodies. I date women as well, so I'm certainly not going to get hung up on your penis size. Attitude towards women If you hate feminists, we're done. Some other toxic or sexist views towards women? Done.Attitude towards homosexuals If you're transphobic, I walk out right there -- I'm trans, that just won't work at all. If you don't accept LGB people, we're done. I don't expect you to be an expert in LGBT politics, but you should be open to being educated on these issues, because they're important.Racism An absolute dealbreaker. Racism is never ok.

Women of course are individuals, and find different things attractive. In general, though, women (unless they have strange fetishes or are insufferable themselves) would NOT be impressed with the following: Poor hygiene. No, no, no. So easy to be clean, no excuse for anything else! Poor grooming. Model-perfect hair, nails, or clothing isn't necessary, but general “taking care of yourself” is pretty important. This goes for weight, too— it’s less the poundage than the attitude and general health. Jobless and indifferent about it. Everyone is more interesting and desirable if they have a purpose in life, even if it is just to be a decent guy who doesn’t sponge on others. Rudeness. Cruelty. Wackiness born of ignorance. Serious belief and promotion of a flat earth, for example, or extreme paranoia about chem trails, or membership in a cult. Selfishness. Self-absorption, self-obsession, narcissism, thoughtlessness, inconsideration, egoism. Sexism, racism, homophobia, misogyny, or any of the isms that demonstrate a closed mind and a cold heart. I believe the rest of the issues you listed, including the biggies like politics and religion, can be negotiated, providing they don’t fall under the umbrella of one of the deal-breakers above.

There was a question on Quora about whether women were attractive or unattractive without makeup, something to that effect. And a bunch of guys came out and said that women were just more attractive with makeup. I would never date a guy who thought women needed makeup. Let's face it. Women are like flowers. Why would you put goop on a flower? That's about the only thing I could think of when I saw this question, but now that I'm here I would also say aftershave that is overboard, and a guy who is too into material things. And a guy who had ever paid for sex. Otherwise all the other things you mentioned are not at the top of the list.

You already received some great answers and many of the women have echoed the same things - as far as physical attributes go, they differ based on preferences which is a wonderful thing :) It means there's someone out there that's going to find you attractive, no matter what you look like.The obvious stuff, like taking a shower, smelling good, wearing clean clothes...should be just that, obvious, but for some isn't, so that's a free giveaway and no brainer if you need to make any changes in those areas.What most women will agree on is how they want to be treated. I'm not going to give you my full list, but I'll give you my #1. I want a man who is genuinely interested in knowing everything about me (and I about him). I've come to realize I have yet to have a real relationship where I'm with someone fascinated and curious about who I am. The stuff that goes beyond just getting to know someone on the surface level. Someone who will take pleasure in investing the time in discovering who I am. I want that more than I want anything else in the world right now. That is who will get my heart.