Emotional Abuse: What do I need to do in order to stop a drug-dealing, controlling, lying guy that financially supports me from remaining in contact with me? I can't walk away. I'm just not that person. Any other way?
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Answer:
The best thing to do is make sure that you can financially support yourself. That way, you can make your own decisions and not be controlled. After that, one decision you should do is to report his drug dealing activities to the police. I think preventing contact with someone who pays your bills is very unlikely.
Sheri Fresonke Harper at Quora Visit the source
Other answers
Good resource: SafeHorizon and also find a way to get out and cut all financial ties. There are people who have done this. It's not always easy but there are more people willing to help than you may imagine.
Dorothy Hill
just get out of there, there are womens shelters etc...ive been where u are now with 2 small babies it can seem very daunting..believe me no one ever changes don't waste anymore of your precious life ...life is short it will take time u will survive and be a stronger better person for it!!! youll find strength you never knew was possible
Rebecca Jane O'Brien
It would be in your best interest to look into ways of being more self sufficient. He is living a high risk lifestyle. He and his support can be taken from you at anytime. Start planning and saving and set boundaries in your relationship that keeps you seperate from his lifestyle. It might be good to have someone you trust to help you. It's just a matter of time. I have found procrastination can leave you with fewer options and decisions can be made for you because of inaction. Stay well, and safe.
Dawn Touchstone
You are basically saying you want him to support you, but you don't want to have to talk to him or see him. You want him to send you money for no reason at all, just because? You are a parasite (by definition), and you are the one in the wrong here. You have two choices. Keep accepting his financial support, or don't remain in contact with him. You can't have both. You sound like some spoiled brat that throws fits when her daddy won't buy her a new car or something. Grow up, and take responsibility for your own life. You talk about this guy like he's a piece of shit, but you fail to realize that you are an even bigger one because you are too lazy and parasitic to take control of YOUR life and have a life on your own. Saying you "aren't that person" is basically saying you aren't a person at all. You're just a subject for him to control. If that's what you want, fine. Leave it that way. If you want yo change that, change it. You didn't mention any kids in the situation. If there aren't any, you really can just get up and walk away. It's simple.
Tristan Williams
I am maybe over-stepping my bounds here, but you went out of your way to malign the character of the person "drug dealing, lying guy, so I think it is fair game to say the following: He is the drug dealer and sugar daddy and you are addicted to the drama, the money and the scene You will stop the situation, when you drop your addiction. My guess is that the addiction makes you feel more alive, it stops you from thinking about what you haven't done with your life. And acts as a way to keep you from moving on in life to do the things you know you should do.
George Streeter
He financially supports you.... ...but you feel he should still support you... but have no contact with you???? (1) grow up (2) get a job (3) stop being a parasite then (4) get a restraining order, and get him to get one too. You're a mess, and a victim of _your_ own abuse. When you stop abusing him, then you might have a chance to stop him abusing you.
Carl de Malmanche
Find a different job. What? You don't have a job? Sure you do. You're Vice President in charge of all things dickbag. Your job is to absorb all the horror he couldn't unleash on the rest of us without repercussions. Congratulations, you've been promoted from girlfriend he abuses for free to paid employee. If this were a legitimate position the contract would consist of four words. You absorb, he pays. Unfortuntely, head of DB is not a real job. One which allows you to feel secure, safe, and some days..even proud of yourself. It also affords you the opportunity to leave your desk and your boss behind at 5pm. Every single day. Sounds good, right? You can have your life back but it won't be handed to you by him. You're going to have to take IT, and the responsibility that goes with it, for yourself. If your current situation remains the more attractive option than personal and financial responsibility then I suggest you ask for a raise. Afterall, you are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Still glad you don't have to work 40 in a week?
Bridget Kavanaugh
If he is abusive, get a restraining order. Most courthouses have advocates to help you with the paperwork and what to say to the judge. They also often have referrals and/or resources to help keep you afloat financially while you become self-supporting. Here is a link to help you understand what domestic violence is and whether you're a victim: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm. Good luck.
Kelly Deegan
Walk away. There is no other relevant answer. You may not know who you are so ... walk away. Probably very far away as you are in an insane, abusive and dangerous situation and it may very well take you months to get over this. Don't think. Walk away. Leave everything and walk away. Your life and freedom and sanity are at risk.
Madeleine Gallay
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