How to get rid of my anxiety?

How to get rid of my fear / anxiety after breakup?

• I've been in a relationship with an emotionally abusive girl for nearly 3 years. She had a difficult childhood and I know she didn't receive much love before in her life, so I could understand why she acted the way she acted. When she was raging, I usually just hugged her and ignored it. At first, this worked - she stopped being physically violent mostly after a few months and I was hopeful that she will get better and dare to show her love to the world around her. However, when I got busier with study, work and other commitments and sometimes felt a little down and tired in the evening, she felt that my shields were low and used the occasion. I know she only did that to see whether she'll still be loved if she acted that way, but after a while, it started to take toll at me. I felt like I wasn't save anywhere anymore - stress at work, stress at study, stress at home... until I finally couldn't take it anymore, got a major depression and a burn out and stopped loving her, so I ended the relationship. I felt very guilty for that. Now, a few weeks afterwards, I am starting to get interested in girls again but I am so afraid that they might behave like her or that they might refuse me. I feel like I don't "deserve" being loved, so I am kinda reserved about asking them out. Moreover, I am still struggling to get even simple tasks done unless there is a deadline coming up (and even then I just do things out of anxiety and produce just mediocre results). This behaviour and those feelings are increadibly stupid from a rational point of view, but I don't know how get rid of them. My current approach is what I always do when I am afraid of something - I face my fear. But this time, it seems not to work properly and I am just getting increadibly tired and want to hide from the world. So I started training for a marathon to at least get myself happy for a short while (running for a few hours at least frees me of my worries for a while). But I just seem to be stuck in a circle of negative emotions and fear and don't know how to sustainably break out of it. Every morning when I wake up, I'm afraid of what bad things might happend that day and think of all things I did wrong or didn't do yet. How would you handle such anxiety issues? Why am I even afraid if nothing bad can happen actually? Why is it so difficult to do something, even something easy? Why are my thoughts always wandering rather than staying focused on my task?

• Answer:

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