Find solution
What's the cultural space per head (per capita) in Paris and London?

Why did i deserve this? Is this my fault pls help - need advice pls. Feel sick and going to explode.?

  • I was with my guy nearly 10 yrs and we were engaged to get married. He was the love of my life, but I lost my job and was really miserable I told him he could do better. I found out he asked another girl out. When I found out, he said my fault for saying he could do better. I overheard him on the phone asking her out again after he said they were just pals. We stayed together, he never let me stay over in 10yrs except weekends, and when I finally asked him where we were going he always said yes we will get married soon and get a house. His pal started dyng of cancer & he cut himself off from me. He never wanted to see me cos he said he was stressed, yet he would play guitar on stage with his band etc and still go out on nights out. He seemed to be having a break down, and when I asked whats happeining he would bang his head against the wall.I told him to go abraod for a month on hols o be with his dying pal cos I was worried about him but then I discovered he was sleeping with his student behind my back after telling me 'he didnt think i was the right girl& I should just move on' When I found her in his house, he told me he only got engaged to use me till somebody better came along and loved me like a sister. I discovered he'd slept with her the day our house we bought for us went through so now Im stuck with it. He got sacked for having sex with a student & took a job abroad after dumping the girl. We got back in touch & he said he wanted to try and make it up which we did. We talked loads, said he love me and we would be fine etc. I found a photo of him & another woman on facebook and felt sick but worse part is, they are now engaged cos I have found out she is pregnant and they have moved in together. They are also getting married in the next year so he spent 10yrs with me telling me we would move in together get married and in the space of 1 year he has met, engaged and got her pregnant whilst telling me he loved me. I feel really sick, cos the way he was treating me was terrible and the things he said to me caused me to have a miscarriage. I didnt even know I was pregnant. I didnt tell him cos he kept saying he was stressed so I only told him after he seemed better but he didnt seem to care. His entire family have now told his woman they cant wait for the baby to be born etc, for the wedding etc and how he is with somebod more his class. He has told them so many lies about me& told everybody when his pal was dying I was selsfish & everytghing was about me but thats not true. I ex[planed how many girls tell their guys to go cancel our summer holls and go abroad for a month with their friend to have a break. His sister is the only one that has realy hugged me when I found him cheating & she said he is an idiot. His mother just shrugged when I told her he cheated with his tudent who is 20yrs younger and got sacked. she didnt really care and just said 'oh well, boys will be boys' He is 42 yrs old, he's not a boy - his student was 21. I feel so sick and just been walking round in a daze, my mind feels like exploding coson ly just found out about her pregnancy and they are living apart, hes in London, she's in greece cos she works there but hes moved into her house in london. I feel so sick and punched in the stomach.

  • Answer:

    Oh dear oh dear, clearly you have not been on the same page for 10 years. You thought he was the love of your life and he thought you were his weekend bit. He lied to keep you hanging on and at the nearest opportunity he showed his true colours. You have wasted 10 years of your life, hoping and believing that you were going to be together, get married and do the whole happy future thing. How wrong can someone be. I suggest you start loving yourself instead of this selfish, egotistical lying man. He used you and he fooled you. How naive we women can be. Please pick yourself up and dont waste any more time on this loser, he may have been a bit part of your life for the last 10 years but its all been in your head, not his. You have two choices here, you can either get a new life and learn that some men can be arrogant pigs so dont make the same mistake twice or you can moan and spend the rest of your life wondering where "you" went wrong and crying because you miss him. Best of luck and for goodness sake move on.

Yo Adrian at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

Was this solution helpful to you?

Other answers

Oh my god, he sounds like a complete mind***k. II know it's difficult, I really do, I've watched people go through it, but you're gonna have to get over him. F**k him and hi girlfriend, they can do whatever the hell they like, as long as its got nothing to do with you. Trust some pics of him & his gf, stick them to a dart board, and completely mess up their faces, spit, throw darts, pour c*** all over it, spray paint them, and do whatever helps you get over it. He's not worth your time. As for the house, I'm not sure on that one, sorry Tell him to go and f**k himself and that you never want to see him again. He must be stupid!! As for the age difference, he's double hers!!! Sick!!

Karen

I'm very sorry for your shock and devastation. I will pray that God brings people to support you through this ordeal. It's going to be very difficult for you to quit him after 10 years of emotional ties. When you get over the shock, you should feel very GLAD that you aren't with him. He may try to keep you on the side, please don't be tempted. You should be treated much better but he is INCAPABLE. Try your best to not let the manner of the 'break-up' to destroy you. It's absolutely overwhelming and could be detrimental to you for a long time if you don't take care of yourself. There are many mistakes over the years that were ignored by you that you will need to own up to including why you accepted his terms for 10 years. You need to review everything and shut off the volume of "his words" and only see his behavior (which tells you the truth about him). Please don't listen to advice about jumping into another relationship. This is a common mistake that exacerbates your issues. He told you straight to your face many things that were unacceptable. Why did you ignore this? What were your role models for relationships like? He and his mother are not good marriage material so be glad that you aren't pregnant and marrying him. Why didn't you get angry and leave when he said he's using you and loves you like a sister? What respect would you have for a guy that you could say that to and he doesn't leave? Usually, traumas from childhood will cause a person to remain in this type of situation. For example, people might choose a partner that is similar to the parent that we have "unfinished business" with. A girl who is abandoned by her dad will choose similar men, etc. I'm no expert on the subject but I suggest a very important book called 'How We Love' which explains people's behavior and styles of relating. The relationship test is below from Howwelove.com. Please read this book, it will help you have more understanding, more compassion, more wisdom, less confusion. I will pray for God's intervention so you can be healed quickly. Please pray about everything because He can lift you up. You are not just a physical being, you also have a precious spirit.

Veryshygal

Related Q & A:

Just Added Q & A:

Find solution

For every problem there is a solution! Proved by Solucija.

  • Got an issue and looking for advice?

  • Ask Solucija to search every corner of the Web for help.

  • Get workable solutions and helpful tips in a moment.

Just ask Solucija about an issue you face and immediately get a list of ready solutions, answers and tips from other Internet users. We always provide the most suitable and complete answer to your question at the top, along with a few good alternatives below.