How do I tell if I have a sunspot?

I like a guy a lot, but I cant tell him how I feel,what should I do?( Im 18, Male,Im desprite)?

• Im an 18 year old guy. Im pretty sure im gay. Theres this guy who has been on my mind for the past 3 years in school. I love him to bits, most of my time when Im not doing something, im thinking of him, what is he doing is he ok etc. When I see him, I cant explain the feeling,im just attracted to him, I feel I want to hug him and cuddle him up. He is a very attractive and nice guy, and he is the first person who has ever made me feel this way. He means something special in my heart. Its hard to explain. He's affected me a lot, its not his fault, its me. He's all I can think of, and its affected my school work dramatically, i just cant study because im thinking of him, and well ive tried forgetting about him, which worked for a month and a bit, but then he talks to me or tell's me something, and i just fall for him again. Its just, this is my last week at school, I only have my graduation left next week, and I dont know what to do. Im going to miss him a lot. I cant bear to think that i'll never see him again. Its really hard for me at the moment.Its been upsetting me, and ive got noone to talk about it. I feel I havent been open with him as much as I should of, Im just very shy.I dunno if he feels the same for me or not. I want to tell him my feelings or atleast that I like him a lot. I just dont know how. Im afraid, because, gay feelings just isnt accpeted so much here. I know he wouldnt bully me or anything, but Im afraid he would freak out a little, and he might tell one of his friends and news im gay would get out and people would slag and hate me, Im really afraid that my parents would find out too. I know they really arent accpeting of homosexuality. Just more then anything I wanna tell him how I feel, to just talk with him, and try and develop a friendship with him, I really would like that. He's the type of person i could see as being a great freind. Our relationship, Its hard to explain, Im the loner, not very popular type of guy in school. I dont have many friends. Noone seems to have much in common with me, I mean I love sports but due to my health ive never been able to take part.Im really shy, i feel i dont really know how to make friends. Whatever I've been doing, its not workin. He is the popular, good looking sporty and smart guy. I actually look up to him a lot, Everytime Im with him, he makes me feel happy he smiles. Its just noone makes me feel the way I do when Im around him. we met 4 years ago, but 3 years ago we sat next to each other in school. He would talk with me, which meant a lot , not many people really talk with me, the year after I really missed him when we didnt sit next to each other, and thats when I realised he is a special guy. That year we went on a school trip together and I was eating alone and he made room for me to sit beside me. Noone else wouldve bothered, but he cared, and it meant a lot to me. From then I just fell for him, but I feel anything we had, kinda just disappeared. We only really talked from time to time, like once a month about school work and stuff. I wanted to talk to him about more, I wanted a friendship, but I feel the feelings I had, blocked me from being my true self with him, I felt I had to hide how I truly felt, and its not because of him, its because everyone else, I was worried people would find out im gay. Its a huge mistake, not being myself with him. If i could back clocks, thats what I would change. Im not sure what to do, I guess I appreciate the fact that he has made me feel, How it is to be in love, he'll always have that space in my heart, and he's made me learn a lot. I just need advice how to deal with this, and what to do. I just really dont want the world finding out or my family. I really just want him to know. Anything will help, any advice, if your a straight guy, maybe you could tell me how you'd react if someone told you this is how they felt, so maybe i can prepare for the worst. Should I tell him, or not, how should i tell him, what should I do, Im desprite here guys, Ill take any advice at all. If you read this, Thanks a lot, its pretty hard to open myself like this. It means a lot to me. Have a good day :)

• Answer:

  Well... It was so sweet of you, the way you explained your pure honest feelings. We, gays, we mostly have gone through same period of time of falling in love with the "cool", "sporty", "good looking", "charming" classmate who we can never stop thinking about them. Well, the consequences of expressing your feelings to your classmate, can be serious or sweet, depends on the guy you're dealing with. Perhaps it is still too early for you, if i want to advice you to go through the steps of walking out of closet, but as a practical advice; i may suggest you to just find some topics to have some small talks with him about the Gay community and then see how he reacts. Talking about gay celebrities, movies and artists, something that do not seem weird can be a good idea. Let's see how he reacts when you mention "homosexuals".. If he don't have teenager homophobic thoughts and ideas, then you may be one step closer to trust him more that even if he do not response positively to your feelings, he will at least not going to make problem for you. And finally, as my last word, i honestly recommend you buddy, to try to find the "gay" friends for yourself, not necessarily through a romantic or sex relationship, just to have some trustworthy gay friends who you can deal with them and help you to improve your gay aspect of social life. Remember that, having romantic relationship with straight guys, or people who do not know if they are gay or not, will never have a happy ending. Therefore, i recommend you to seek romance and relationships within the circle of Gay community. No matter what, i wish all my best for you and may you easily deal with this teenager feelings of yours. Go study well and finish your school, be proud of yourself and take care.