Where Is Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris Jokes. Come only with your best. Yeah that's right?

• Chuck Norris once got hit by a train. Don't worry...the train is okay. Chuck Norris was once shot by a gun. The bullet said ouch. The elephant man is what happens when you f*ck with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was once attacked by a guy while he was sleeping. Needless to say, the burial for the guy is next week. You don't attack Chuck Norris even in his sleep. Hurricane Katrina was given the wrong name. It was actually Hurricane Chuck Norris. ...and Chuck Norris said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris doesn't do drugs, drugs do Chuck Norris. Statistics say, there is nothing quicker than a rattle snake. Statistics forgot about Chuck Norris. In Chuck Norris we trust. All death can be linked back to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the only man in the world who can lick his elbow. Chuck Norris is the only man who can look in the mirror, and shatter it for all the right reasons. If the Grand Canyon could be more grand, it would be called Chuck Norris. The angels are trying to sing like Chuck Norris. Grizzly Bears are terrified when they step foot in Chuck Norris Country. Chuck fought the law and the...Chuck won. Chuck Norris is the answer to world peace. Too bad he loves war!

• Answer:

  If Chuck Norris has five dollars, and you have five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg Mcmuffin at Mcdonalds because it was 10:35, he kicked it so hard it became a Wendy's. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink. Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch. When Chuck Norris runs backward during a fight, it may seem like he is retreating. He's not. He is attacking from the other direction. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. People have near Death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences. Bill Gates lives in constant fear Chuck Norris's PC will crash. Chuck Norris died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him. Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. There are 3 sides, the light, the dark and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris invented water. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain. Chuck Norris is what Willis is talking about. Chuck Norris's email is [email protected] Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. There are no bombs; Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicoptor and punches the ground. Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it. Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice. When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird. Chuck Norris once threw a bull in a china shop. The only thing that broke was the bull. Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris has a yahoo account on Hotmail. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because even glass is not stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he does not turn on the light, he turns the dark off. In an average living room there are 1,242 things Chuck Norris can kill you with, including the room itself. Chuck Norris beat the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and back tire. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's by simply writing Chuck Norris for every answer.