Can I move a message from one topic to another?

How should I phrase this message to my ex-roommate? Am I being reasonable?

• My ex-roommate moved out at the end of March. The landlord kicked her out because she was not on the lease and not willing to put herself on the lease. I even offered to pay the landlord's bogus $300 fee to have her added on the lease, but she said she just wasn't comfortable entering into an agreement with this landlord and having him bully her into signing a lease, so she left with just a few days notice. She said that I could keep her deposit, and that she would pay utilities. Yesterday, I sent her a text message with the amount for total utilities for February, March, and April (she didn't pay February or March utilities - not entirely her fault because the February utilities I didn't send her until 10 days before she moved out, and March utilities not until this text message). She responded by saying she had thought that we had agreed that I would keep the deposit and she wouldn't have to come back with utilities, which was not true at all since she had said she would pay utilities (but this was in a text message that my phone did not save). I responded saying that I could negotiate on the April utilities since she wasn't here, but I do need the February and March utilities. Although honestly, I do think she is responsible for the April utilities since our initial written agreement said she needed to pay half the utility bills for the time she was here and give 30 days notice if she decided to move out. I understand that the landlord kicked her out, but I do feel that she had a choice - she could have stayed and put herself on the lease, ESPECIALLY since I was offering to pay the fee, and she wouldn't have had to. Because of that, I do feel that the "30 days notice" clause applies in our agreement, and she is technically responsible for paying April rent and utilities. But because I think of her as a friend, I wanted to meet her halfway and say she doesn't have to pay utilities for April. When we were living together, we got to be pretty good friends - we went out a few times, we watched movies together, etc. I would really like to preserve the friendship if possible, which is one of the reasons I feel she does need to pay this money - I wouldn't be able to be friends with her feeling like she cheated me. She was living here in February and March, using the utilities - I shouldn't have to pay her share of the bills. It's not a huge amount of money, it's the principle. I understand that getting kicked out really sucks, and it stressed her out, which is why I didn't really push the money issues before she moved out, but as I said, I do feel she had a choice. I could have paid the fee and she could have stayed - she chose not to. Also, she brought her cat into the apartment, and there's a huge dark stain on the hardwood floor where the litterbox was, and also scratches on the living room floor - neither of these were there before she moved in. If the landlord ends up taking these out of my deposit, I will have to hold her responsible for that. I was planning to show her the damage and tell her this when she came by to pay the utilities and pick up her mail that's been piling up. Honestly, I was a little irritated that she just said "keep the deposit" - she should have paid April rent, since I may need her deposit to pay for the damage that SHE is responsible for. Here is the message I'm planning to send her: "Hey Jill, I hope you are having a good day. Just wanted to let you know that the utilities for February and March total $79.46. Regarding what I thought about the April utilities, I guess we had a misunderstanding. Your text message when you told me you had decided to move out said I could keep the deposit and that you would pay utilities. I assumed you meant April utilities, although you may have just meant the utilities from February and March. The deposit and utilities were completely separate - the deposit wasn't meant to cover back utilities, it was meant to cover April rent if I couldn't find anyone. That's why I said that I would give it back to you if I could find someone to move in and pay the April rent. I hope you understand that this is in accordance with our initial agreement when you first moved in. I live on a small budget and structured my budget with this money in mind. Again, I am sorry for any confusion and hope you understand. Thanks." So is this email OK? And am I being reasonable here? I don't want to come off as someone who's trying to extort money, and I do want to keep her as a friend if possible.

• Answer:

  I really hate when people answer questions saying they're not going to read the whole thing or "tl, dr" - they're clearly just trying to get the 2 points. If you don't want to read it, don't answer it and waste the person's time! I think you are being perfectly reasonable. I would just defer to what you have in writing - it sounds like what you have (30 days notice and splitting the utilities) supports what you are trying to get from her. You did offer to pay to have her added onto the lease, so she did have a choice - she chose to move out with little notice, so she is responsible for paying her share of the April rent and utilities, as well as any back utilities she owed you. I do not at all understand why she would expect to be excused from paying utilities from months when she was using them. I think your email is fine. Honestly if it were me I would charge her for April utilities too, because you have a right to based on your written agreement. But I do understand that you want to preserve the friendship and meet her halfway. Thing is, is she meeting you halfway? Why is she making such a stink about paying HER share of the utilities when she was there? She left you in the lurch when she moved out - the least she could do is honor her part of the agreement. Make sure she understands this. Be cordial about it, and make it clear you would still like to stay in touch and be friends, but she needs to cover her responsibilities, including the damage she is responsible for. Show her the actual damage, and tell her that if you are charged for this, she is going to have to be accountable for it. You are not responsible for paying HER bills and paying for HER damage.