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Divorce , Judgement Papers and spousal Support?

  • Iam going through a divorce and I have not hired an attorney but my wife did. We have been working together to agree on everything. Her attorney finished up the final Judgement papers and E mailed my wife and she sent to me to read. Her attorney said to review the papers before we come in and go over them and sign them, The funny thing is I never got to discuess the issues and what was put in the papers. There are to many things I do not like and would like to change. I did not hire attorney because I do not have the money. My wife used her visa card. My wife told me that here attorney told her that spousal support and child support were almost the same so they would cancel each other out so It would not make sence for me to ask for spousal support. She makes 47000 year and I make 32000 year. She would have or 15 year old son 80 % and would have him 20% . I would like to ask for more time but he is 15 years old and has really built up hate towards his dad and would not want to come see me anyways and if he did he would not like it. It is very said that he has became this way by getting in the middle of the divorce and some bad things said to him about dad. Anyways My question is I got the Judgement papers about 2 months ago and her attorney told me to take a couple weeks to go over he papers with a third party before signing them in his office. Well I have been looking now to get the money to hire an attorney and I have talked to a free service that gave me some numbers to some attorneys and some advice. Now my company says they may be able to lend me the money for a retainer fee so i have called an attorney and will see he this week. She will go over my judgement papers and then I will ask her how much for a retainer fee to hire her and finish my cause and represent me if needed . I would like to ask for spousal support and to have it calculated into the child support like it shows an the Dissomaster chart. My wife has told her attorney that I would wave the spousal support in judgement papers but I never agreed to it first. HER IS THE PROBLEM. THE PAPERS HAVE NOT BEEN SIGNED YET. i KNOW WOULD LIKE TO ASK FOR THE SPOUSAL SUPPORT AND TO HAVE IT CALCULATED INTO THE CHILD SUPPORT. AND THERE ARE SOME OTHER THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE. MY WIFE KNOWS I WANT TO MAKE THESE CHANGES AD SHE GOT VERY UPSET. I AM GOING TO SEE MY ATTORNEY THIS WEEKEND WITH THE PAPERS. FUNNY THING IS FRIDAY I GOT A LETTER FROM HER ATTORNEY BUT HAVE NOT OPENED IT JUST YET. MYQUESTION IS BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT GONE TO HER ATTORNEY IN TWO MONTHS TO HAVE THE PAPERS SIGNED CAN THE COURTS OVERRULE ME AND SAY I CAN NOW NOT HIRE AN ATTORNEY AND CONTEST THE PAPERS ?? I AM WORRIED THAT THE LETTER IS SAYING THAT I HAVE WAITED TO LONG TO COME IN WITH MY WIFE TO REVIEW AND SIGN THE PAPERS AND NOW I HAVE NO CHANCE TO CONTEST THE PAPERS ? IS THERE A TIME LIMIT OR CLAUSE THAT HER ATTORNEY OR JUDGE CAN OVERRULE ME AND SAY I HAVE NT REPLIED IN A CURTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME ANA JUDGE CAN RULE ALL PAPERS IN MY WIFE,S FAVOR AND I CAN NOT HIRE SOMEONE AND CONTEST AND MAKE CHANGES NOW ?? PLEASE HELP WITH THIS ONE.... I just have not read the letter yet because I do not want to be upset and ruin my weekend and all stressed out. ..................... I will have to read soon maybe Monday.. Hoping not the worst..... Thak

  • Answer:

    Yes, you only have a certain time limit to do these things. Your time may have passed. Spousal support and child support are two very different issues. I don't think one can cancel the other out. You are now at the paper signing stage of divorce, the time to get this ironed out was way before now. I don't know were you live, but good luck. You will need it HIding something under your pillow will not make it go away.

danomanf... at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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Jeesh...NO. You're fine. Technically, you don't have to sign anything at all that her attorney sends you, ever. He is just a person (a legal expert, but otherwise just a regular person). His say does not go, unless YOU say it does. You could ignore all papers altogether and decide not to work with them at all until you are presented with a court summons. Some people do this, and it's perfectly fine...a judge is not going to punish you for deciding not to respond to your wife and her attorney...only the JUDGE'S order matters...her attorney is only HER legal representation. Your case hasn't even been heard or scheduled yet. That's it. Open the letter. It has nothing to do with the judge or any ruling, etc. It may say something along the lines of, "Since we have not heard from you, we assume that this matter will need to be resolved in court....etc., etc." And, your response to that, without even opening it, is already "YEP, it will." It could also just be a summons (which you are going to get anyway...it's just that sometimes the attorney will get hold of it before it has a chance to be sent directly to you). To answer your question more directly...you do not have to contest anything your wife and her attorney sends to you, unless you CHOOSE to, until your court date--Her attorney is not god! Nor is she. Don't be worried, you're fine, 100%. Go meet with your attorney and take your papers with you. And open the darn letter (keeping what I've said in mind) so that you can relax. Best wishes.

Sarah

Sparkie, if your not smart enough to hire a lawyer, then you deserve whatever you get. And hiding behind the excuse that you can't afford one is absolute crap. I've done two divorces and I "couldn't afford" either one of them. But I knew whatever financial hardships hiring a lawyer caused, it was NOTHING compared to the monetary hell I would go through if I didn't get one. So, ..... put a crowbar in your wallet, pry it open, and get a lawyer.

warneal69

These things can take a long time. You have to talk to a lawyer to find those answers. Look.... most people do not want to go to court because it costs big bucks. If this is an agreement written by her lawyer do not sign. You need a judge to to make the paper legal unless you and your wife agree. I would get a lawyer. If you cannot afford a lawyer ask for your wife to pay out of the marital assets. You are still married and both of you are responsible to pay each other debts. How is it fair what you have no money and she has a lawyer. Look you need to open then letter hire a lawyer and fast. If you make only 32K how are you going to pay child support and support yourself? You sign a bad agreement you will end up homeless. Please call a close family member or a friend and get someone to help you. Divorce is terrible unfair to men. Women get the kids and big bucks in support. If you are going to pay for her lawyer and not your then it going to be worse.

John

Your wife is lying and her attorney is slanting things towards his client. Let your attorney sort this out. Open the letter its no worse than wondering what in there. Maybe your wife changed her mind and sent a check for 1/4 million to make up for the mis-understanding. If you go for alimony - I didn't know any state awarded that any more - it probably won't equal child support but your attorney can tell you the normal figures. I.e. a alimony - child support trade off would seem like a good deal from your side of the equation but maybe not.

Orange County Ca

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