What would be a good back up plan?

My girlfriend no longer loves me, even though i still love her. Is this a good plan to win her heart back!?

• I've been in love with a girl for 3 years (since i was 14) , and i told her i loved her 2 years ago, and she told me she loved me back. However, 3 months afterwards, we had to break up, because she had to move to another country, far away from mine (UK). It was a devastation to me, because those months were the best months in my life, and we were certainly very passionate about each other each and every day. About 3 months later of crying myself to bed, hoping to get over her, i sent her an email, saying that i still loved her and asked if we could still be together. She replied back saying she was crying like a baby, and said of course. The next year and a half was really wonderful. She was so affectionate, loving and caring. But afterwards, from the past 9 months, she has been gradually becoming less and less loving. She hasn't said 'i love you for almost 6 or 7 months (not even on valentines day) and i am ALWAYS the one to initiate the conversation and texts. When i speak to her on the phone, i'm always the one who comes up with the topics, while she just says 'yes', 'no' or 'maybe' for the WHOLE conversation. So, last week, i asked her straight if she still loved me. She replied by saying no. After our conversation, she sent me these texts: 'i just like the relationship between us now. We've had such a good time so far. I think love is a really heavy word, a commitment. I'm not ready yet. But i still care.' I didn't reply. She sent me this afterwards: 'I really hope you can understand what i said :-) i can't think if anyone who treats me as nice! So, you are always most important! Take care.' So it seems as though she just wants to be friends. But i don't want to be just friends with her. If i'm not her lover, or loved by her, then it breaks my heart, and i can't stand the thought of her liking another. So, since i'm 18 soon, i'll be able to apply to get a Visa to her country. And not only that, but i know her address and her school address. The present arrangements are that i'll visit her next summer, and live with her and her parents in their apartment for the summer. During the time, i plan to -somehow- win her heart back and share our first kiss together (we never kissed on the lips in the first 3 months together, even though we held hands and i would kiss her on the cheek). But i'm wondering if it'll be better if i tell her i want to leave her. Like 2 years ago when we both decided to stop being with each other, she'll rediscover her feelings for me, and will want to be with me as a couple. If i leave her, i will do whatever i can to become more handsome, more fit and work everyday to save up the £700 and visa i need to catch a plane to see her next summer. Then i'll find her family's apartment and surprise her and the whole thing will be like a fairytale (i hope!) Will this work? Thanks for your time P.s. i assume that she wouldn't find a boyfriend to replace me, because she has declined other boy's requests to be their girlfriend before since she told them she is too busy, and she'll be moving country again next year by going university. So it won't make much sense to get a boyfriend now.

• Answer:

  Sometimes long distance works and other times it won't. I'd say spend this time on yourself. You say your coming upto 18, your still very young and people change a whole lot from the time their 18 and into their twenties. I've recently come out of a 3 year relationship. I'm 24 so not much older then you. It is very hard but we are both very different people to when we started dating. There are other people out there. I split from my ex in December and am already seeing someone new and I'm not the most attractive of people either! Open yourself up to new experiences, say hello to people in shops and at work. Your idolising this girl because you are hung up on her. The sooner you do things for yourself the sooner you'll realise that its natural and a progression that happens to us all. Maybe not what you want to hear but move on and DO NOT do the visa thing without asking her how she would feel about it. There maybe another man on the scene on her end and this is her way of letting you go gently. Also University (at least her in the UK) is a big thing and there is a massive social point to it where she will meet new people.