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What department of the navy job is better?

Navy boyfriend will be stationed in Va & I live in California?

  • What do you do in this situation ? We love each other very much been together for 3 years im 20 in school just landed and great job in san fran at the airport & hes currently finishing up hes A school in Fl . Our relationship has been tried , pushed , challenged when it comes to our realtionship ( cheating lieing etc. all before he joined the navy ) but we always seem to rekindle and push to make it work :) however ! I'm still trying to let go of the pass and focus on being there for him and being a good gf in this relationship married is heavily talked about and would love to spend the rest of my life with him , I miss him very much but he just hit me with the huge bricks saying he'll be stationed in VA , he wants to do the long distance thing but realisticly I don't think the relationship is ready due to the fact it's needing some TLC in the trust and getting strong department . I don't want to leave Cali either :\ I can't just up and leave my obligations like he wants me to but we seriously do have different plans . He did this for me to provide for me and i seriously feel like a brat to be honest but this is really eating me up I love VERY much but i can't see myself relocating my whole life. And I think I just have to take in that it just might not work . ( His job is aviation) we were so very sure he was going to SD but obviously and understandably he has no choice over his station locations , it's just hard please help?

  • Answer:

    As a married man with 27 years in the military my advice to you would be to stay where you are at. As for as him cheating on you, it will not stop. There will be times when it will be impossible for you to go with him, like when he gets sea duty or gets stationed some place that spouses aren't allowed. And with the military going co-ed there will always be women available. Your 20 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you. Get your education, become self dependant, that way you will always have something to fall back on. Then two or three years down the road, if you still feel the same way about each other, then go for it. This seperation will be a good test for the relationship. Have you heard the old saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Good luck

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My advice: If you don't love him enough to move for him, getting married is a horrible idea. 3 out of 4 marriages in the military end in divorce. Not to mention if he's cheated on you before, I'd take the pain and move on. I'm actually finishing up my A-school here in FL as well.... If you choose to do so anyway, I hope you really know him. I watch all these married-engaged ****-bag men here chasing other females on a daily base. It sucks. Sorry if I sound pessimistic,

Ashley

Stay at your JOB and do not go to VA... He will be Deployed aboard a Ship right after MOS School... TRUE FACT... FYI: The Divorce Rate for First Time Enlistees is 95%+<<< Per DOD Stats... You can bet that the Cheating and Lying will continue... Find your self another BF you can TRUST...cause you don't trust this One... Since you live in San Francisco... Go down to the Naval Base and take a look around... Right out side the Gates as it is at any US Base are Bars/Strip Joints/Drug Pushers/Prostitutes... That is where he will be spending his Time & Money...

Marine5

School and job for both of you needs to come first, then relationship through the distance. If that succeeds then when you are done with school, he has advanced in the Navy and you have money put away you can get married if that is what you BOTH want. YOU need to finish your education first and foremost and at times it can be very difficult for military spouses to get jobs (BTDT). Through this distance you can build the trust but don't rush into it especially if you are questioning relocation. You are obviously happy where you are. Also just because he was in Aviation there was NO guarantee he would get stationed in California at all, he could even be stationed in Japan or maybe Spain. That being said what the others have said about 3 out of 4 marriages ending in divorce or 95% of marriages failing on first enlistment are WRONG! The divorce in the military is actually only slightly higher than the civilian world but still UNDER 10%! You hear about divorce yes but you don't hear about all the successful marriages who did work through the distance.

NWIP

He's a proven cheater. He'll cheat on you again. VA is way less enjoyable than San Francisco. There are plenty of men in CA who won't cheat on you and aren't about to move to the opposite end of the nation.

hamrogers

What's your question?

mgan

Kinda sounds like you're being selfish to me. My wife has followed me literally from the East Coast in VA, to Ft. Lewis, WA, and now down to Ft. Stewart GA. Why did she do it? Because she loves me and wants to be with me. You can get a job anywhere. My wife gave up everything in order for us to do what we felt was right for our family. It's been tough, but we take it day by day.

Dick The Sandwich Troll King

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