What was the Ideal Wife in the 1950s?

What do you think of this advice on being an Ideal wife in a polygamous marriage?

• This is from a book published by the British Islamic Education Trust for women in BRITAIN. In the case of the first wife, she should regard the new wife not as a rival as a sister or a daughter, depending on the age difference. She should exercise self-control, understanding and sincerity and avoid deliberate offence. On the contrary, if she takes the initiative in trying to make the new wife comfortable it will be a good start towards developing a relationship of kindness between wives. The new wife for her part, should understand the likely fears of the first wife - fears of being no longer the sole queen of the household, fears of being disregarded or displaced. Such fears, and possible jealousy if the new wife is younger and more beautiful, are natural human re-actions, and can only be calmed if the new wife uses her initiative to defuse them. She should behave with sincerity towards the senior wife, and act kindly to her, giving her due respect. This will help to create the sisterly or motherly relationship mentioned above. The wives should be helpful to one another in their day-to-day lives - co-operating in the smooth running of the two households. If one is sick, the other should help her. If one travels, the other should look after her children. Exchange of gifts from time to time helps to sustain a kindly relationship. A wife should also be kind to her co-wife's children and as far as possible to treat them like her own. She should encourage her own children to be on close terms with their half-brothers or sisters. She should avoid persuading her husband to provide for her or her children what he does not provide to the other wife or her children. Acts of injustice on his part will certainly upset the harmony of the relationship. A wife should also avoid trying to poison her husband's mind against her co-wife, whether by telling lies against her or carrying tales. If there is friction between the two wives they should as far as possible try to resolve the matter by mutual discussion and agreement. If they are unable to do so, then one or both may take the matter to the husband to resolve. If he wants domestic peace he must be fair, unpartial and firm if he refuses to get involved and washes his hands of responsibility for such disputes, a situation may develop where one wife continuously oppresses the other, and as the head of the family he has to stop this by admonition or by exercising necessary pressure on the oppressor until she stops. This is why a polygamous husband has to be not only firm and fair but also diplomatic and wise. If he has these necessary qualities however, a polygamous marriage can be a happy one for all those concerned, having many advantages over the alternative options of divorce or unlawful relationship outside marriage. A wife going into a polygamous marriage should therefore see it as a test of her own sincerity, wisdom. self-discipline and patience, and try to pass the test with flying colours. If the co-wives want to compete they should compete in doing good to their husband and to each other and thereby attaining the blessings of this world and the Hereafter. The Ideal Wife By Aisha Lemu British Islamic Education Trust http://www.islamhouse.com/pr/379000

• Answer:

  I think people should be allowed to run their polygamy as they wish as long as all parties are consenting.