Please give me some tips improve my marks?

Please help me check my English essay and give me some tips so that I can improve myself! Thank you!?

• Question: In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. my essay: We live in a modern society which can provide us many means to get information, like newspapers, televisions, magazines and Internet. These are all available and common. In order to be well-informed, we had better to use those means more frequent and adequate. After that we might equip us as much knowledge as we can to fit the changing world. First, like students, when they are study, they need to gather information from many different sources so that they can acquire more knowledge. It is hard to find a sufficient answer for an academic problem just by locking at books. I am a college student. After professor gives me a very difficult assignment, first of all I went to my textbook. But the content in textbook is usually easy and out-dated, so it's not enough. Then I search the Internet to read someone's academic papers. After that I can finish the homework perfectly, as I've already gained enough information to solve the problem. Secondly, businessmen always read newspapers, watch TVs and search the Internet, so that they may run their business well. It is said that Jiaocheng Li who is a very famous businessmen spend half day in reading magazines, newspapers and books to know the latest social events. Though watching TV, a businessman will know what happened in the society and what do common people need, which will give them some innovation about investing new markets. By searching the Internet, they can obtain the latest news about their competitors, such as what new products they invented recently. Finally, it is necessary for teachers to use all kinds of measures to get information, and then they can perform well in front of students. Before teaching, a teacher needs to read the textbook first. However this is not enough, textbook usually contains the very basic knowledge, and there are always some students who want to know more about the subject out of the book. Then the teacher may turn to the Internet for help. After searching the Internet, he will know some latest news about his subject and recent development. With this information he definitely becomes a nice teacher and can perform well before his students. So it can be concluded that a person who know a lot often use every method he can find to increase his knowledge. There is an old Chinese proverb saying that” Who knows a lot can be the best.” Try to use as much means to develop our knowledge as possible, then we may see this world in a new way.

• Answer:

  My corrections are in capitals, comment at the end. We live in a modern society which can provide us WITH many means to get information, like newspapers, televisions, magazines and THE Internet. These are all available and common. In order to be well-informed, we had better USE those means more frequentLY and adequateLY. BY DOING that we might equip OURSELVES WITH as much knowledge as we can to fit the changing world. First, like students, when they are studyING, they need to gather information from many different sources so that they can acquire more knowledge. It is hard to find a sufficient answer for an academic problem just by lOOking IN books. I am a college student. After THE professor HAS giveN me a very difficult assignment, first of all I GO to my textbook. But the content in THE textbook is usually easy and out-dated, so it's not enough. Then I search the Internet to read someone's academic papers. After that I can finish the homework perfectly, as I've already gained enough information to solve the problem. Secondly, businessmen always read newspapers, watch TV and search the Internet, so that they may run their business well. It is said that Jiaocheng Li, who is a very famous businessMAN spendS HALF OF HIS DAYS reading magazines, newspapers and books to know the latest social events. ThROugh watching TV, a businessman will know what happened IN society and what common people need, which will give them some inFORMation about investing IN new markets. By searching the Internet, they can obtain the latest news about their competitors, such as what new products they invented recently. Finally, it is necessary for teachers to use all kinds of measures to get information, and then they can perform well in front of students. Before teaching, a teacher needs to read the textbook first. However this is not enough, A textbook usually contains the very basic knowledge, and there are always some students who want to know more about the subject OF the book. Then the teacher may turn to the Internet for help. After searching the Internet, he will know some latest news about his subject and recent developmentS. With this information he definitely becomes a nice teacher and can perform well before his students. So WE CAN conclude that a person who knowS a lot often useS every method he can find to increase his knowledge. There is an old Chinese proverb saying that ” Who knows a lot can be the best.” IF WE Try to use as MANY means to develop our knowledge as possible, WE may see this world in a new way. TIPS: - remember: the third person adds an s to the verb in the present tense: he uses, she reads, the professor gives, the dog barks etc). - much is used before a singular noun (much love, much work, much energy), before plural nouns it is many: many dogs, many books, many men. - words that modify a verb are adverbs, and the adjective gets -ly at the end: we had better USE those means more frequentLY and adequateLY Hope this helped!