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Why do folks get peeved by nicknames?

  • I've read a few posts and heard a few comments from people who get irritated when people call a kid with a formal name by a nickname -- particularly if the parent was the one who initiated the nickname. People say "Why not call him Charlie if that's what you're going to call him!?" and whatnot. But why does this irritate people? I totally get it that it's frustrating for both the kid and others (teachers, etc) when a parent names their kid John and then calls him Steven exclusively and the kid has to correct all his teachers at school (this happened with about half of my uncles -- to this day, they can't get a straight answer out of my grandparents as to why they did this). That's just being intentionally confusing. But why would anyone get frustrated by a parent naming their kid William and calling him Will instead of putting "Will" on the birth certificate? Isn't it obvious that the kid might want a formal name now and then? Or maybe, from the day that they can talk, the kid voices that he'd rather go by Liam or something. Explaining, "My name is William but I go by Liam" is much easier than explaining "My name is Will but I go by Liam." Folks wouldn't even blink if a kid named William goes by Liam, but it would seem odd for a kid named Will (a one-syllable name) to go by Liam -- the part of William that is NOT found in "Will." Plus, lots of people are naming the kid after someone else -- someone who might not be known as Will or Liam at all . . . but just straight up "William." If I want to name my kid after William Shakespeare, I'm not going to put "Liam" on his birth certificate. If I'm going to name my kid after Charles Darwin, I'm not going to put down "Charlie"! What's wrong with parents giving their kids great, traditional, historic names and using the lovely nicknames that are commonly accepted for those names? I get it if you truly hate the name Charles and never ever ever intend on using it and would hate for your kid to be called that, but love the name Charlie. But if you like both, then why wouldn't you name your kid with the most traditional, most respectable name possible and then use the appropriate nickname to your heart's content? I have to say, as a teacher, I get TONS of "Elizabeths" that go by "Beth" or "Lizzie" and whatnot. It takes me all of 10 seconds (usually less) to be corrected on the first day of school and then I'm good to go. Yes, once in awhile, when I am tired and trying to take attendance quickly, I will accidentally say the more formal version of the name. Most kids don't care and usually I correct myself anyway. It's the other type of name confusion -- when a parent names their kid John and I have to remember to call him Steven when I'm rattling off names from the attendance sheet -- that is more frustrating. But even those aren't that big of a deal. So back to my question, can anyone explain why this is such a big "name peeve"?

  • Answer:

    For me, sometimes it feel like its a waste of a name. There's a beauty in Alexander and it seems silly to pick out a great long beautiful name only to plan and use Alex. Sometimes, its the fact that its like two separate names (i.e. William and Will) and plenty of people go by William and by Will and if you plan to go by one or the other when you're choosing the name then choose that name. Now if they're older and in school, or there's lots of family around its totally different to choose to go by the shorter counterpart. When they can choose its different. When you choose at the start that they are no matter what going to go by Will I feel like you should just write down Will on the birth certificate--that's your plan anyway. I also get my sense of weirdness about this from my own family. My younger brother is named Christopher and it bugs my mom when people call him Chris and her reasoning was always "If I wanted him to be called Chris I wouldn't have named him Christopher". I always cringe when someone calls him Chris; to me, that's not his name. His name is not Chris, its Christopher. I also have a thing for names, and I personally stick away from common things like Chris and Alex choosing to go for Alexander or Christopher. Like I stated earlier though, that also comes from hearing "I named him Christopher;if I wanted to call him Chris I would've named him Chris." The family thing is a family thing; I try to not complain about that because it means something to somebody else so if the family member they named their child after was around enough to cause confusion I can understand the planned nickname. I also have two friends who are brothers; I was introduced to them by the names Lane and Logan. After knowing them a few months I found out those are they're middle names that they go by. They're actually William Lane and Richard Logan; but all four names are family names and to honor all people who've had the names they used them as such but they planned to call them by their middle names. That is probably a whole other can of worms though, lol. For me, it all comes down to personal preference; for more common names like Will and Chris and Alex, I would hate to use those as either names or nicknames for a more formal name.

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The only time I use the whole "Why not call him Charlie if that's what you're going to call him!?" line, is when the parents-to-be have made it explicitly clear that they've only picked "Charles" out of a sense of duty (so their son will have a formal name to fall back on), not because they actually like it. In which case, they've simultaneously let it be known that they'll be calling him "Charlie" more than "Charles", which is ridiculous. If you're going to use a nickname on an almost permanent basis then why not just write the nickname down on the birth certificate? Surely that would make more sense? After all, if a girl is called "Lucy" for a majority of her life, then how is she supposed to form a connection to her REAL name; Lucille? Still, in direct correlation to my own person, my top 2 names at the moment are Maximilian Jude and Elizabeth Prudence. If I have a son and daughter in the future, they won't have any nicknames. That being said, I don't mind if KIDS give my children nicknames (it's inevitable), but the thought of adults shortening them to "Maxi" and "Beth" is near-maddening. After all, that's just being lazy. And if everyone used the nicknames more so than the actual names then my more formal naming decision would, technically, have been overruled. I don't want to have gone through the trouble of coming up with the perfect names and signing "Maximilian Jude" and "Elizabeth Prudence" on the birth certificates, only to have people call them "Max" and "Lizzy" for the rest of their lives! So, I suppose it's a semi pet-peeve for me. Nicknames don't drive me mad unless people are intending to use said nicknames more so than the actual names themselves.

Mughain

Some people just don't like nicknames. They feel that since the child has a certain name and therefore should only be addressed by that name

cнєlsєα sмίlє

I guess it could be that some people pick a name because they like the whole sound of it, though may not like the nickname. I think this argument is flawed though because its pretty easy just to say "I don't have a nickname." My little sister is named Madeline, but my stepmom hates the nickname Maddie, so if people call her Maddie she usually just says "I go by Madeline, not Maddie." or something else like that (politely of course). I personally love nicknames.

hαiℓєy♥

I understand parents getting annoyed by people creating nick names for their kids. I completely don't understand why people get annoyed by nick names in general though. I have a very common name, Erica, but when people pronounce it they say Air-kah. Because of this, my mom started calling me/introducing me as Erie, because she says my name as Air-Ee-ka. As for calling someone by something other than their first name, we did this with my sisters name. We liked one name, but couldn't find a middle name for it. So we used it as her middle name and that's what she goes by. Another reason is if you're named after someone.

Erica

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