Is this good to say in the email for my job application?

Is this a good email for seeking information about your job application?

• I had interview with one company for job. After that they gave me some tests to do and i passed them so i got to final round lets say. only thing left was to have another interview. I got email from them about one month ago stating to expect interviews in next couple of weeks. After that i haven't got any more emails. I decided to contact them to see what is going on with my application cuz i know that some of my friends that applied for the same chain and same position inside of the chain got the jobs already and we got the same email one month ago. i just want to ask them if im still under consideration for the position or no? This is what i got but as I'm not native English speaker and don't have experience with this kind of emails if you could give me some suggestion what should i change... Dear Mr. Its been some time since our last contact. I'm contacting you to check about my CLT program application. Around one month ago you sent an email to all of the candidates from school to expect interviews with hotels in coming weeks. I know that some of my colleagues had interviews as they told me. I was hoping if you could tell me if I'm still under consideration for CLT program? and At what stage is my application currently if I am still considered as a candidate? During the interview with MR. I stated that i would prefer Shanghai or Beijing but that also I would not mind working in other cities in China in your chain. Hope to hear from you soon. Best regards

• Answer:

  Really well done! Some suggested changes: Starting paragraph(s): I had met with you on April 4, 2012 about my CLT program application. Some time afterwards I had received an e-mail from the school to expect an interview and I understand from some of my friends that they've already met with you. I would like to find out more about my program application. - don't start a sentence with and: I was hoping if you could tell me if I'm still under consideration for CLT program? and At what stage is my application currently if I am still considered as a candidate? USE: Would you be ale to me if I'm still under consideration for CLT program? As well could you tell me at what stage is my application if I am being considered as a candidate? A few times you've used lower-case i when specifying yourself - use upper-case I: During the interview with MR. I stated that i would prefer Shanghai or Beijing but that also I would not mind working in other cities in China in your chain. USE During the interview with MR. I mentioned that Shanghai or Beijing were my first choice, however I am able to work in other cities in China. INSTEAD OF Hope to hear from you soon. USE: Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you. You may also contact me at [e-mail address] or by telephone at [phone number]. All the best!