How can I get rid of my Y!Profile?

How can i get rid of that pathetic goodness inside?

• When i was 3 my dad was diagnosed with cancer and was hospitalized my mother went with him so i went to live with my grandparents.My grandma is an old school woman who raised me by teaching me to obey everyone good and bad, not to speak unless they speak to ,not to defend my self because others are always right,to serve everyone else and my own desire comes last because i am not as worthy as them(she has issues with the genders she believes male is superior to female and she never loved her own daughter so when i was born she was glad i was a male but i came from her daughter (the weaker sex)whereas my cousins who came from her son where better cause they are the offsprings of her son thus being superior to me and i should serve them.She wanted my mother to serve the family and she also wants me to be the next in line cause i was born of the weaker sex).All the above made me lose my confidence, trust in me and mde me timid(a weakling.Aftar that my father died which made things worse(i was 3)and to make matters worse my mother poured all those pathetic moral values into my weak soul she told me not to speak loud and raise my voice,not to fight back even if i am attack,not to fight for what is mine but instead to ask for it cause others are good and they will give it to me(huh what an idiot),not to want to win(in life if you do not want to win you will never win),to forgive and turn the other check and me being a weaklig due to my grandmother's stupidity happily accepted all this because i did not have the strenght to fight so i chose to be the good guy,everybody's toy.Mother also told me that humans are good so when i went to school i thought that i would meet angels but in my weak state i was the best victim you are good who is afraid of you,lets sho how wild we are to Aurelio he is good=weakling he will do nothing about it.Today i have managed to get rid of most of these things but i can not stop being the good guy=toy i always try to help everyone and my heart breaks when others suffer but i do not want it anymore i want to be a bad *** just like all the other males i want to stop caring about others i want to care only about myself , i want to kill my heart and concience i want to get what i truly deserve in life i want to get rid of that goodness and replace it with darkness and evil i do not want to be a martir i want to be cruel and emotionless cause in life only the cruel ones win.I have reached a point where i admire all those bad people who do not care about anyone but themselves and do not let others hurt them or get in the way.I must get rid of my weak heart=goodness.How can i do that?

• Answer:

  I'm sorry but are you an idiot? I take it you've just seen some movies or cartoons or whatever where these villans seem all cool and epic and now you look up to them and want to become like them. You want to stop caring about others? You admire people who don't care about anyone but themselves? You want to be cruel and emotionless and kill your heart and conscience? I'm sorry, but you are just too immature. I take it you're about 12 or something, and as I said previously, media is just influencing you too much. I admit I'm the same, I watch stuff and see villans have epic power and think woah it'd be cool to be able to fight like that or whatever, but don't let that mindset control you. HOWEVER- I can see where you're coming from, as in why you wish to become this epic evil badass who bows to no one. I also think that you're grandma has been treating you pretty stupidly, it's nice that she taught you to love others (that's how humans should be) but she seems to be taking things to far. I know the whole thing about turning the other cheek is from the bible, but I don't believe in that. In my eyes, turning the other cheek is being a pussy. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God strongly and I'm not really a delinquent who just wants to hurt people, but if someone hits you, hit them back twice as hard. As for becoming this fearless badass, I suggest you learn something like kick-boxing. You sound pretty young so if you start now, by the time you reach 16/17 you'll be pretty tough. But just don't become one of those assholes who pick on people just for fun. If you become strong, use that strength to protect people instead of just meaninglessly hurting others. You seem to have a good heart, it's just that people picking on you because of your harmless personality has made you want revenge. So, learn how to fight and payback those punks who picked on you, but then don't become one of them. It's taught in psychology that people usually become what they are afraid of, hence if someone is bullied they usually become a bully themselves, but this isn't how it should be. Don't hurt people for no reason. Having a caring and loving personality isn't "weak." There's plenty of badass, fearless people who share similar caring personality traits as you such as Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee! So, become strong, but don't let hate take control of you! Sorry I didn't really answer your question at all, but getting rid of your kind heart isn't really the right thing to do. There isn't many kind people like you who don't like it when people suffer, so please, don't ruin this nice personality you have been given.