How to carry a conversation?

How not be quiet and carry on a conversation?

• I have a friendly pal who always talk with me and share his thoughts with me.I have always been very interested and talk and laugh with him.We were really very good friends.But now,I have become more quiet and seem to have a low confident when talking with him.During class now,he will always talk to me and I only nod or don't react at all.I know it's really mean to do it but I don't know how to carry on the conversation.At most, I only laugh.Also sometimes,if I carry on the conversation,I will behave in a very ill-mannered way and say a lot of vulgar.From close friends until acquaintance...I do not know what to say any further as my mind is just blank when talking with him or other people except my best friend when we are alone.So , really, how to carry on a conversation and not be quiet?

• Answer:

  Don't worry it is really easy to freeze up in front of others! Feels like you are trying to focus the whole time on what someone else is saying but you spend most of the time thinking to yourself about what to say about what they are saying. Cheez! Anywhom, to look attentive when someone is talking nod your head, try to make a eye contact, do head nods, and "uh huhs", "yeah", "okay", etc. Makes them think you are engaged. Listen to what they are saying and try to put the focus on them and what they are feeling or thinking and leave yourself out of the picture. Don't worry about if you will sound silly, and leave the focus on them and just what you think is going on in their world. Build on some tidbit of what the person said like for example if they say something like, "So I am going to buy a new Honda blah blah hopefully at the end of the summer" you could say depending on your experiences "oh my cousin has a honda blah blah and loves it! I think that is a cool choice", or "I have never heard of a Honda blah blah, what interested you in it?". People love talking about themselves so if you give them little bits of bait they will keep biting and then start to ask you questions about yourself after a bit. Just think of yourself as awesome and then put attention on the other person as equally awesome.