How do you get started in a rodeo?

My friends are making fun of me just because I rode a horse wrong! How do I get over my embarrassment?

• My friend has a ranch, and this past weekend a group of us gathered to relax, do some riding, etc. Well, I have no experience with horses, but I didn't want to tell any of them that. They are always poking fun at me, saying I'm not really tough, and I wanted to show them that I could outdo them. So, I went to a horsey store and bought some clothes I thought looked good, and practiced riding around on my Saint Bernard, Butterfly, before the weekend. We all went up Friday night and stayed up late drinking. I knew that no one would be getting up too early after all of that. I got up early and quietly sneaked out to the horses; I thought I would do some riding to get comfortable before my friends got up. Those horses were BIG! I looked at them, and felt very nervous, but I had my outfit on, and felt like a real cowboy, with the chaps and all. It was cold, because the early morning air hit where the chaps didn't cover--I thought it was strange, when I bought the chaps, that they weren't really complete pants, but I didn't want to show that I knew so little about horse stuff, so just bought them without any question. In the early morning air, though, I was freezing! I was embarrassed, too, having my butt hanging out in the open like that, but stuffed all of my nerves aside and concentrated on the horse. I went up to the side of the horse. Man, that horse was a lot bigger than a Saint Bernard! Well, if I was going to ride, I just had to tackle the thing head on. I threw the saddle on the horse's back, and climbed on. Ouch! Why did they put that knobby thing on the back of the saddle?! The only thing I could figure was that it was there to grip on to, so that you could stay planted on the horse. That made sense, given that the chaps were designed the way they were. It took a lot of work, and it really hurt getting that thing worked into place, but I guessed that was what they meant when they said a new person had to be broken into horseback riding. After all that was done, I gently nudged the horse forward and he began to walk. It hurt, every step the horse made, and when he began to trot, I had to grit my teeth. I was proud of myself, though; I was actually riding a horse! The horse started to go a little faster, and, strangely enough, it started to feel sort-of good. I was beginning to understand why guys liked riding horses! I urged the horse on, and he picked up speed, doing circles in the enclosure, and I was really having fun! My friends came sauntering out of the house, chatting over coffee, still looking sleepy, and it took a moment for them to really notice me. Suddenly, they did notice me, and their jaws dropped. Then they started pointing and laughing! This made me mad, and I yelled at them, asking why they were laughing. I guess my yelling scared the horse, because he started bucking, and I had to really hold on to not get thrown, but I was anchored really well onto that saddle, and held on like a real rodeo champ! I have to say, I enjoyed the bucking more than anything I have ever enjoyed in my life. I never knew that riding could be so pleasurable. My elation ended when my friends came out to calm the horse and help me get down. They informed me that chaps were meant to be worn WITH pants, which doesn't make sense to me, and that I had the saddle on the horse backwards, and that that knobby thing is definitely NOT meant to be inserted inside the rider. I sort-of wonder if they are being honest with me, or if they are just saying that to make fun of me. I don't know, I just spent the rest of the time in my room; I was really sore from that ride. They dropped me off back at home Sunday night, and I haven't spoken to any of them since. I am embarrassed and mad. I can't help it that I don't know about horses, and I think it is mean of them to always be making fun of me. How should I deal with them?

• Answer:

  Friends don't let friends ride without spunk. Tell 'em to kiss your chaps. (((Jack))) =D