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Can someone please help, I can't stop thinking like this?

  • Sorry this is so long, I really need help so please read all of it if you can. I am 16, almost 17, and keep freaking out thinking about how I am going to get really old and die. This has been happening for over a month and it is really scaring me. I have thought about it so much that I keep dreaming about it and now I haven't slept well all month. I can't concentrate on anything and everything seems pointless because I keep thinking that I am going to just get old and die, so it feels like nothing matters. For some reason I think that aging means I will not be me anymore. Like if I get old and when I do I won't be me anymore. I will be a different person because I will look so different and my personality will have to change because I won't be able to do anything. Like I won't be energetic and hyper and happy anymore, I just won't be me ever again. I don't feel like doing much of anything physically active, even though I really like to exercise and go for walks, because every time I do I think about how I won't be able to when I am an old lady. So, I keep thinking it doesn't matter because when I am old I will be pretty much physically useless and defenseless. I also don't really want to ever have kids, but I keep thinking maybe I should because what would I possibly do when I am old if I don't have kids that I am supposed to focus on. I also think that I like won't have feelings anymore, like I won't feel the same about things like I won't be afraid of the things I am now or have the same feelings or like the same things I do now and for some reason I feel like I will just be old and pointless and won't deserve to feel the same. How can I stop thinking about this and like this and just enjoy the present? I feel like I am going crazy and it always seems to be on my mind. So, I guess I just keep pondering my existence and can't figure out what the point of life is if it won't last. So, I guess I feel like my existence is kind of what threatens my existence, if that makes any sense, and feel like living is just confusing and might be pointless if everything I have will just be taken away. Please don't suggest religious things. I have already worked with that and it didn't really help. Also I can't go to a therapist and I can't talk to a school counselor I am homeschooled(I have to be because of where I live). I can't talk to my parents, I don't have a good relationship with them right now and don't trust them, but I am working on fixing that. Please help me you can, it is driving me crazy. And I don't want to just ignore it or try to distract myself from it. I don't want to live my whole life like that, I just want to figure out how to make it go away. I don't understand why it started happening and just want to be normal again.

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Growing old and aging is part of life, darling. However just because you age physically does not mean you are no longer you. You only change if you want to change. Your life-- it's only up to you. When you're an 'old lady' you will still be able to be happy, you'll still be able to exercise if you take care of yourself, and etc. It all depends on how you want to be. No one can change you, or force you to change and it is completely up to you. If you end up becoming some sad old person, it's because it was your choice. Growing old is a scary thought, but it's only how you perceive it. Hell, I know some kick *** old people. I swear, they're more energetic than I am. They're still super happy and outgoing. My grandparents(even though they're going on 80) still take long walks and they don't need a cane or a walker. They're still strong. It's up to you. Honestly, you are the only one who can help yourself. It's a mind set, dear. I can't help in any other way than to give you encouragment. Good luck!

Dae

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