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Is there any way to know who looked at my profile in Facebook?

I found my dad on Facebook & don't know what to do?

  • I'm 17, nearly 18. My dad left my mum just after I was born and didn't start to see me until I was seven, but it only lasted about 4 weeks before he had an argument with my mum and disappeared again. I've been thinking about him a lot recently, because of things I have saw on the television about fathers and daughters being reunited after years of not seeing each other, and one of my close friends is getting married and I just happened to think, "when I get married who will walk me down the aisle?" It's not that I want to jump right back into seeing him again, I mean he hasn't been here for practically 17 years and never given any money to help raise me. But for some reason I was curious so I went onto Facebook and at first when I searched for him it didn't come up, but after a while of searching I found his sister, my auntie. I looked at her photos but there were none of him, and then I thought I would check her friends list, and there he was. I didn't expect my reaction. As soon as his profile loaded up and I saw his picture I just burst into tears. I looked at his photos and saw my half sister had commented on one of them, I knew she existed and everything but for some reason I just felt this horrible pain in my chest, why can he love her and not me? I would be surprised if she actually knew that I existed to be honest. & on her profile there is a picture of my Dad with a bride and a bridesmaid, and he's dressed really smartly, not like smart as in a guest but the vest he's wearing under his suit jacket matches the bridesmaids dress, so he was obviously part of the wedding, what if it was his wedding and he's the groom? Do I have a step mum who I didn't know about and who will most likely not not I exist? I don't know what to do and want to know what people think I should do next, should I add this family on Facebook as a friend or just my Dad or none of them? In a way I want to but in another I think "why should I?". Him and the rest of them obviously don't want to know me. It would have been easy for them to find me, they know all of my family and would have found my mum, uncle, nan, any of my family and even myself on Facebook easily. And that is besides the fact that I haven't moved house since he last saw me. It's also heartbreaking to see at the top of his profile that he's living somewhere which is a 5 minute drive away from me. Sorry it was a long one :/ but thanks for reading it anyway :)

  • Answer:

    I think you should think deep down about what it is you want and not about what others would have you do. Trust me, I know how you feel. You have all this anger built up but at the same time he's your father. Some people will tell you that it doesn't matter but for him being your father, it does. You can listen to how someone else would act in that situation but it's your actions you'll have to live with. My father died when I was 11 & I'd do anything for just a second in his presence. My father also never abandoned me but he was MY FATHER. The parent/child bond is one that is hard to ignore. So take a deep breath, think about it & do what you truly believe would be your best choice.

Shannon at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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In my opinion I think you should talk with your family about it. If they think it's a good idea to talk to him I think you should try too talk too him. If he doesn't want to just let it be. It will be more trouble in the long run.

ayoo

I had a friend In a similar predicament. I would only message him and say you want to meet up and ask him those questions. His family aren't involved so it's not their fault. You don't know what he has told or not told them. But I would go straight to the source.

Johanna

aww bless your heart :/ if you really want to talk to him or get to know him then i think you should send him a message. I couldnt tell you what to write because thats far too personal but i think you should pluck up the courage and talk to him. See where it goes from there, if things go well and yous carry on talking quite abit maybe arrange to meet him?

niaamh louise

Well, I don't know what happened between your parents or what's going on in your dad's head but neither do you really. You might feel like you do because you heard your mother's side of the story and truly your dad might be entirely at fault for the whole situation and for not seeing you, but there's two sides to every story and I'm betting your dad's side is different than your mum's. I don't mean it was all her fault; just that "$hit happens", you know? I don't think you should assume that "obviously they don't want to know" you. You don't know that for sure. It might be true and it might not. You do know though if your mum's been good to you. My bet is she has, that she held you when you were sick and helped you with your homework and taught you to tie your shoes. For the effort of all that I think she deserves you to tread lightly on this. It would be a mistake to handle this in a way that made her worry that she was going to lose you to your dad and you need to take care not to ever let her think that you're casting her off in favor of him. I think you should talk to your mom. I think if you approach the subject as you were just curious about him and not that you've romanticized your father into being some kind of superhero she might be receptive to the idea of you two meeting. My dad lived about 5 minutes from me too. I did see him a few times as an adult and I decided that he was NOT a good person and that I wanted nothing to do with him. He's dead now and I wonder if I might have misjudged him, or at least that I might have wanted to understand him better. Judging him from my mom's stories and my aunt's and throwing in a few observations of my own may have led me to the wrong conclusion. Or maybe they didn't. I'll never know.

Anna D

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