Where would you like to live and why?

My husband doesn't like where we live and for no reason. Influenced by his family. Why?

• My husband is hardly here, says he hates this shitty town. He comes from an industrial city, it's very gloomy and there have been several cop deaths by criminals in just the past couple of years- there's a lot of bad things going on over there. In our town it is not dealing with things to that degree. I mean, his parent's had a swat team in their back yard looking for one. There are many nice neighborhoods, lots of green. When we moved in his snooty sister asked me "so, like, what is even around here?" This came as a total shock to me because her and the parents live only 8 miles from us... And "wtf" kind of question is that?? We are central to everything! So I answered her "well route --- is in that direction which takes you right into the capital, you guys take that all the time, such and such town is right there (I wanted to say so badly "you worked there!" but didn't). It was just a silly jab. I think they intended for my husband and I to live closer to them, closer than 8 miles away. I'm sure that's why my husband and his mom both went to an open house without even telling me and it was for house in the city right next to theirs. He just always says he doesn't like it here. I don't get it. I know his mom and sister have only been here once after we moved in. And they showed very minimal excitement. It really upsets me because he spends all his time there and just really, all around doesn't want to be here. It isn't about me, like it's nothing I am doing. I'm sure it is due to their lack of excitement or interest and instead their negativity. I don't really know what I can do because I know them better than I am describing here and it's a lot of stuff that is not in my face and seen as time goes on. I'm sure there's been plenty of snarls as always and "you stay here" as always. I am sick of feeling upset and like his heart and mind are so not even here. It's there with them. And they aren't even that far away. Is there anything I can even do to help this situation? I feel like there's nothing I can do, talked to him and it just doesn't matter. Talked to him in more than one way

• Answer:

  Hes affraid to stand up to his mother! I am living proof of your situation. I was also influenced by my mother or my family for that matter. Always giving me grief if I even thought about moving away or anything. My wife is feeling your pain. I recently started applying for jobs very far away and I really dont give a hoot about what my family is saying now. I dont know what to tell you in this matter but I can say that he is really not happy close to them because he does want to move away and start a better life with you but he cant get away from the constant nagging from his mother. So if he stays close and does what she wants he doesnt have to listen to it. Hes gonna have to grow some balls and just deal with it and leave and everything will be better. I know cause im living proof. contact me if you need to talk or have any questions.