How to make keyboard act as joystick?

Setting up Logitech Joystick for Halo 2?

I've got a Logitech Extreme 3D Pro joystick and would like to set it up to work for Microsoft's Halo 2. Some functions work, kind of, through the automatic profiling, but I'd like to make it more user friendly, so I don't have to use the keyboard for everything. Is there a way? And if so how exactly? Thanks George
Answer:

get hold of a decent personal lubricant and lather the joystick up, then, preferably after a poo, slide the joystick into your anus, being careful to include all the buttons for decent gameplay. Then plug the lead into your console and play your game, tightening and loosening your but muscles will help you press buttons.

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