Want to bring my wife from Thailand: K-3 or immigration visa?

Am I responsible for my wife's family?

• Hi, My wife and I have been married for 9 years, we don't have any kids yet. My wife came from India 8 years ago and with a few months of her coming to the US, her father was locked up in India for selling stolen goods, although he says he did nothing wrong. With her dad in jail her mother was left alone to support my wife's younger sister (11yr in school at the time) and younger brother (19yr no school, no job at the time). My mother-in-law told my wife that no one in there family (they have well to do relatives in Europe, AUS, Thailand) was willing to help them in this situation. My wife asked if she could help by working and sending money back home. I was not in favor but agreed and also agreed not to share this info. with my parents. My wife had to work in horrible conditions, long hours and for low-ball pay so after a few months I told her to stop as we did not see each other much since both are working and it was having an effect on our new relationship (our marriage was arranged - we didn't know each other until only 4 months before our marriage) and spent 10 months apart after marriage waiting for her to come to the US. I asked her to tell her brother to find a job and help out but he didn't (all work is beneath him, mother-in-law agreed). After 1 1/2 later father in law got out of jail. Asked us to continue sending money while they get back on there feet. My wife no longer working, I was sending money from my income while also renting a apartment in NY, helping my own parents (elderly) and providing a decent life for my wife and I. 7 years later, I was still sending money. While constantly complaining to my wife that I should not be responsible and that it is taking a toll on our relationship and I may leave her. She would yell at them and say that we would not send anymore and a few weeks later they would call her back with a new excuse (can't afford to send sister to college, don't have enough money to buy food because father can't find a decent paying job, brother in and out of drug problems and not willing to earn a dime to contribute, mother having health issues). Like a suck my wife and I fell for it every time and resumed sending money from our pocket. We also travelled to see her parents and gave them money there too. In total we gave them over 40k dollars. My wife asked me to put in visa request so her family can come over here (starting with her mom and dad), saying that if they came here they would find work and live on there own since they burned all bridges in India. I put in the papers last year on condition that her father and brother try to find work, any work to help pay for atleast their ticket to fly over here and so that there daughter would be taken care of while she waited to migrate to US. They said they would but I saw no progress at all, things got worse I stopped talking to them, having issues with my wife and told her that my gut feeling was that they are gonna come here and expect me to support them. This was not going to fly. During this time they got there visa and told me to send money for there tickets. I said NO! I said, I had enough, stay where you are, I don't want you here messing up my life. I want nothing to do with you. My wife jokingly told them that if they can find a place to stay her and pay for there own ticket, they can come. Knowing that they didn't have the means as they told her that no one is willing to help them. I love my wife but told her that this is it. Too many years I have been played a fool and if they bother my anymore or come here we are through. The called my wife last week and said that someone is paying for our tickets, will provide work and a place to stay and that they borrowed money from others they know. I called BS and ask to speak with them. I told them that I had said no, let your visa's expire, I am no longer in support of you immigrating to the US on our behalf. My wife agreed. They said I am the bad guy now because I am stopping them. I told them to give me the information of the person that is bring them here and will provide for them, they said can't tell you this now. Will tell you when we get to the US. I called BS again and said that if they came, I will leave there daughter, my wife. My wife agrees that what I am doing is right because they have caused enough damage and will only cause more if they are here. When my wife and I are together and keep her family away we are happy and enjoy our relationship. As soon as they enter the picture, I get pissed and we argue to the "almost" point of divorce. Sorry for the long story. I think I have done everything I can, they say they can't find work in there country but others we know there are able to get by without asking for handouts. I don't trust them one bit, they are liars and cheats and always play the worlds tiniest sad violin. and hope for the sake of our relationship they dont attempt to come here next we

• Answer:

  They are lying moochers. They expect your to support them. Stand your ground. Even your wife sees through their lies. This is called tuff love. By ending all your support, you are forcing them to go out and support themselves. Yes, it is very hard to do. You might even consider moving to another home that they are not aware of and not telling them for a while---after they have had the chance to get jobs. It is one thing to help out family who really need the help, but these people are not in that category. They are capable of getting jobs. Everyone has to start low and work their way up. They refuse jobs because they don't pay enough. Hey, it is a job and better than no job at all--oh wait, we will just cry to the son in law and he will send more money so we don't have to take work that might be real work. They are playing you like a worn fiddle. You are weak if you keep on letting them use you like this.