How to get Standby Mode off?

How long does it take to get out of marriage mode or family mode after breaking up with your fiance?

• My fiance and I broke up four months ago after three years together. At first it was easy, I drowned myself in work with two full time jobs and I never had time to think, breathe, or really do anything thing. It was like my life outside of work never really existed. Now, I've had to leave one job and the other has cut my hours drastically. For the first time in four months, I have time to breathe... I have time to think... I miss him and I miss what we had. But I'm trying to move on and it just isn't happening. My mind and my heart keep going back to him. It's like I'm not really over him, I want to be, but I'm not. As I try to move on, I feel like I'm looking for a husband, someone to raise a family with, not a boyfriend. Some times I wonder if I'll die alone in a house, just me and my dog. I never thought anyone would actually want to marry me. I've always wanted it, but never thought it'd actually happen. Maybe I will die alone in a house just me and my dog. Who knows... But really, what I want to know is how long it takes to get out of the family marriage mode. I know it's different for everyone, I get that. I'm just trying to get an estimation. How long did it take you or someone you know? After a break up or separation or even a divorce. Will it ever go away or will I judge everyone based on how well they'd be able to support a family with me? Any advice? I'm dying here.

• Answer:

  Well I broke up with mine of 6 years. It was about the same. Drowned myself in many jobs. It worked for a while. I started dating a few (3) Monthes later. I'm not sure why but every date I kept picturing how we'd look on Christmas cards, how many kids he'd want and if he had a romantic side for a perposal. I think they could sence it. After that I tried SO hard not to that they thought all I wanted was sex. Just stop looking for dates. It's hell if you do. Getting over him will be hard. I'm not sure why it ended, but break ups normally happen for a Good reason. I became an alcoholic and ran away. When I sobered up and realized what I had done .. He had moved on. I'm still not over him. BUT I threw that love away and now I have to regret it every day. What I'm trying to say: If you ended it for good reason then the pain will subside some day. Probably not this week but you'll learn to change those habits that remind u of him.