What do i do after i get here?

What should I do? I can't get over him?

• So I know this is a long story but I feel like you need all the detials to understand my weird situation. I am a 21 year old girl, about 6 months ago (October) I realized that I was falling in love with my best friend (17 year old guy). When thinking about it, I realized that even thoguh I just consciously realized it, it had probably slowly been building for about a year. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure if he likes me in that way and I was afraid of ruining our friendship. Plus he is 17, so I was thinking, is that too much of an age gap? Should I at least wait until he turns 18? He is single, very mature and we get along great. His parents are 5 years apart and mine are 4. I know his dad would be ok with it, he has said before that age doesn't matter, he doesn't at all mind us being friends, and if something happens between us someday then it happens...idk I was encouraging to hear his approval. I was too nervous to say anything so I kept it to myself for about a month, which was very hard. I finally broke down in November and told a mutual friend of ours. I was hoping she could give me some advice, she has had much more relationship experience then me. She told me she could tell, that I flirt with him all the time, I guess I diodn't even notice. She told me she wasn't sure what to do. The best I came up with is her causally asking him when nobody else was around...So she said to him “So you guys are always talking bout me and my bf, what about you two?“ and he just mumbled something about his gf (tail end of a bad relationship he was in then but is not in anymore) and changed the subject.. what does this mean? I do flirt with him..well I try. I tease him, actually we both tease each other, all the time. We poke each other, tickle, I steal his hat and pop his collar, we have dorky nicknames for each other..And it's weird cuz sometimes it seems like he is flirting back and other times it seems like he is more distant. Idk..he's hard to read sometimes in that way. Then in December I found out from a group of our mutual friends that they all thought we were dating..and they were serious. They kept asking me “come on don't you like him“, I denied it because I was caught off guard. But I guess it's obvious or something that we like each other even though we are NOT dating? I don't know. We are so close, we tell each other everything. We can talk for hours without running out of things to talk about. We have a lot of the same interests and always have fun together. He always makes me laugh. We tease each other and love to joke and have fun. He is the best listener, he always knows just what to say. He makes me feel good about myself. I can tell he really cares about me. He helps me solve my problems and overcome my fears. He's the first person I want to tell everything to- good or bad. He's one of the few people who I've let see me cry. I want to be with him all the time. When my mind wanders I think about him... I was going crazy not telling him, we always tell each other everything, but I was afraid I might ruin our relationship if he doesn't like me like that too. I was so nervous. I don't know what to do. I tried to test the waters by saying something like “So did you know everyone [from that one group of mutual friends] thinks we're dating?“, just to see his reaction? And he didn't say much, just kinda said they're crazy. I wanted to say something else back but I chickened out. So I hesitated still and continued flirting but didn’t actually tell him. Then towards the end of December he texts me saying “Hey you know I have a girlfriend right?” and I didn’t know. So at that point I told our mutual frind who I had been trying to get advice from, turns out she knew the whole time that he knew I like him and about his girlfriend, but she didn’t say anything to me because she didn’t think it was “her place”. So I acted like I was happy for him and then realized that I really have to talk to him at this point so I told him I wanted to talk to him in person tomorrow (I feel text is too impersonal for stuff like this). So I felt heartbroken that whole night an barely slept. The next day we met to talk. I was so nervous to tell him, which is so dumb because I tell him everything, he is like the easiest person to talk to but telling him this was hard. So finally I just made myself say it. I go “You’re my best friend. I would do anything for you. But the problem is..I like you. And apparently you knew...” And he’s like yeah I did. And I go on to explain how nervous I was to tell him and I wanted to but I didn’t because I was afraid it might freak him out and ruin our friendship and I just couldn’t handle that... and now he has a gf. He says “You should not have been afraid to tell me, I never freak out bout anything” (which is true). And he told me that he doesn't care about our age difference, that age doesn't matt

• Answer:

  Not to be a d*ck or anything.... Is there any chance you could shorten this, put in a few less highlights, and re-ask your question? Don't get me wrong, I love the story....but I kinda' forgot what you are trying to ask by the 5th paragraph.