How can I cope with my nightmares?

What to do when my boyfrienbd is having nightmares of me cheating.?

• So the other day I was in my boyfriends dorm, and saw his journal open on his bed and I could not help but read the pages it was open to. I figured out why my sex life with him is down in he pits about now according to the journal he has been having nightmares about me sleeping with another guy. Also lately whenever I go to touch him even for a simple hug he pushes me away. And it hurts me:( I remember 1 time in bed when putting my arms around his waist he nearly elbowed me and freaked out on me! I swear I am not cheating. I know what it is like to be cheated on. I had a ex that cheated on me 3 times while we were dating and I had to cope with my moms feelings when my step dad cheated on her I would never do that to someone. EVER! What can I do to help my sec life and to be able to touch him again.

• Answer:

  First of all, sit him down and talk. Don't come out and say you read his journal, but tell him that you love him and worry about him, and then ask why he seems so uncomfortable and why he pushes you away. If he claims it's nothing, say something like, "That's a pretty big nothing." and tell him that he is hurting you with his behaviour. If he does say what's on his mind, you'll have to go about reassuring him that you are not a cheater. That will be difficult, though, since some men get this idea in their head and it is impossible to shake off. Ask him if he has somebody specific in mind, or if it is somebody at work or in college or wherever. Then take him on a night out, point at all the geeky guys you see and pay the handsome ones no attention, then take him home and give him the best sex you are capable of, to show you always come home to him, and nobody else matters. If that doesn't work, then you will have to break through his suspicion. At the very least, you have a right to know why he is suspicious of you. If, in the end, you are incapable of reassuring him and breaking through the wall he is putting up, you may have to do the hard thing and let him go, but only as a very last option. It's bad enough that his paranoia is getting him down, but it shouldn't pervade into your life. Good luck, I'm rooting for you.