Why are people so unmotivated about making money?

Can poor people have friends with money? It's making me feel horrible about myself, VERY LONG?

• Sorry for this being so long and detailed but I feel I have to vent finally. Thank you if you read this. My boyfriend and I have dated off and on since we were teenagers and we got back together last summer. We're both right at 30 years old. We live together, have a great relationship, and I'm sure it will be long term. The thing is that we didn't make the best choices in life and didn't make much of ourselves. I am the front desk manager at an average roadside hotel. I make just over minimum wage. He doesn't make much either. It's all we can do to pay the bills and we're scraping by paycheck to paycheck. We have a house, car, etc., everything we need, just nothing extra. Most of the time I don't even have the gas money to visit my own mother who lives just 30 minutes from me. I am stressed 24/7 about paying the bills, hoping nothing extra comes up, and I've got the extra burden of owing a few hundred to family members because I was out of work for the last 2 months with an illness. Twenty dollars cold make or break me at this point. I'm accustomed to having spending money to get my hair done, go tanning, shopping, etc. in past living situations, but I am able to sacrifice personal things and not worry too much about it, EXCEPT for the fact that my man's best friend a successful lawyer. He was my friend too since we all grew up together but I'm newly acquainted with our old friends since I moved away for a while and have just gotten back to where I am from. On weekends he and his friend like to get together, including myself and his girlfriend, and do things. They like to go on short weekend trips, or just out to eat at a nice restaurant, something that we can never afford. Those are just examples, it's always something though. He likes to enjoy life and he has the means to do it. We have been hosting poker games the last few months at our house, and we'll have a few drinks, being this is all we can afford to do but summer is coming and now there is plenty to go out to do. This past weekend they went to the Nascar Race in Richmond, VA and camped out. My excuse for not going was that I couldn't get off of work but my boyfriend's grandmother gave him the money to go because she knew it meant a lot to him. I don't agree with his grandmother paying for him to go but she insisted and she does have the extra money, but my point is, if we can't pay for it, we don't need to do it. Anyway, I looked at his pictures when he got back and this just finally made me realize we are out of their "league". I've felt this way for a long time when they have came around, but something just snapped in me tonight and I can't take it. They pulled a camper behind their brand new Ford truck. My boyfriend took an old, weathered tent. They wore brand new Nascar gear and big headsets. My boyfriend had an old, random jacket, a $2.50 dollar store t-shirt and dollar store ear plugs. The lawyers girlfriend and her best friend were stunning with their top of the line clothing, perfect hi0lites, tan, etc. I'm not ugly, but my looks are surely nothing special, and without the extra money to spend on myself, I feel run down. I know it's not about looks or what you have, but beside them I would look ridiculous. Beside them my boyfriend looked ridiculous. He even said he looked like an idiot. I can imagine being there, hanging out, and when bedtime came I curl up outside on the ground in the tent, covered up with the blanket from my bed while they go into their RV with electricity, bathroom, etc. I'd feel like a slum. The thing is, their other friend and his girlfriend are on our level. They work in a furniture factory. They don't have much. They went too, but didn't camp with the 'rich' people. They hung out with them but had their tent in a separate section away from them. If we had camped with these people I wouldn't feel the least bit bad. They are on our 'level'. BUT this guy is his best friend. He sincerely wants to hang out with us and do things. He's always going somewhere and I have to make excuses not to go because I can't afford it. I've told him I'm too broke before and it just shrugs it off like I'm making an excuse. It's like he can't comprehend we really are poor. I'm tired of comparing myself to these people but I can't help it whenever they are around. Even coming over to our house to play cards he will bring expensive liquor or the best beer. I'll buy Natural Light and he'll say "Natural Light?!!?" like I'm crazy for drinking the worst beer made. He just doesn't comprehend that I can't afford anything!!! We go over to his house, he makes us Filet Mignon. He comes over and I have to make Spaghetti. You get my point by now. I just want to stop going around them. Hang out wi

• Answer:

  When I read the title I thought omw what a shallow human being! But you're not, you know what you can and cannot afford and it is warranted that you feel like a 'lesser' person when around the lawyer and his girlfriend. I find it strange that your boyfriend does not share these feelings... maybe he is just so very fond of his friend and fond of hanging with him that he doesn't see the gaps between you. Its not nice to feel like a lesser person, maybe you should stop hanging with them. You're a 30 year old woman, you dont need you're self esteem to be lowered because of material things. Spend less time with this wealthy couple... and hang with people in your league. It will make you a happier person than you would be hanging with the rich people. But don't completely throw them away, when plans come up and you can afford it, go. :)