What is a Specialist Holiday?

Girlfriend and I split briefly. We booked a holiday, but she booked another with her mum suddenly. What to do?

• We're 26. Unmarried. Together for 2 Years. Bought and live in a house together. Over the weekend, we had an insanely huge row. It culminated in a big showdown, and we said hurtful and regrettable things that resulted in a mutual agreement to split up. I will admit that I was very wrong, and the main person behind the shouting and hurtful comments. The day of the bust up, she stayed away with her parents for the evening and night, and well into the next day to have a bit of space. When she returned the next day, for a few days we kept separate beds. Around 3 days later, we talked and agreed we needed to give it another shot as it was too much to just throw away like that. However, over the evening/half day she spent visiting her parents her mum booked her an extra ticket to join a family holiday that just her parents and younger sister (21) and her daughter (18 months) were already going on. I guess her mums decision to add her to her own holiday suddenly was done on the whim that we'd split up, and obviously that would mean our holiday together probably wouldn't happen and she wouldn't get to have a break this summer. That's a pretty nice thing for her mum to do, and makes sense entirely. But the stinger is this... My girlfriend and I already had a holiday booked that overlapped at the same time as her parents holiday. As they departed for theirs, we would have been into the second week of ours. I understand that as far as it went, for a few days, all hell broke loose and we were verbally single. Am I wrong to feel a little sore that there wasn't any sort of motivation from her mum to give things a moment to settle/sort out? I get that their daughter is their main interest, not me. But I feel quite hurt that it seems they were a little trigger happy and quick to get her away as quick as possible without any thought of fixing it. Am I wrong to interpret that they do not think very highly of me? Of course they wouldn't not after this. But I feel it is a big blow to me, and I am gutted to say the least. Maybe I am reading too much in that part.. There is now a clash where she wants to be in both places and holidays, but can't. She can't get the time off work and can only use 2 weeks of holiday. There were 2 weeks with me booked; and suddenly she needs to find space for another one week with her parents right after we were due to return. The dilemma now is that she proposed she takes the first week of the holiday with me; then changes her flight to go for the other week with her parents and sister. She suggested I take my best mate with me for the second week (who we both know and is a lovely, humble guy happy to sit on the beach fishing than going out drinking - so in no way would it be a lads holiday). That is a pretty thoughtful and fair way of dealing with it for her, and I respect that. 50/50 both ways. I am lucky to have even got a week with her, as she rightly told me after the bust up. So her ultimatum is to share it between the two trips. Considering the verbal 'I don't want to be with you any more' we both used; and given the three days, do I have any reason to feel upset that our holiday has effectively been sliced this way? I understand family is number one. I let her down by fighting with her. I accept my wrong doing. But I really do feel like I have been knifed in the back by her mum so, I don't know, instantly? I'm hurt even more because this holiday was much needed for us. We had a 2 week holiday with friends the year before, and vowed never again to go as a group. It wasn't relaxing or intimate in the slightest, and we were looking forward so much to this proper holiday alone together. I'd love to know what people think about this situation and tell me I have no right to be upset. I asked the guy who I would take for the second week and he says it is unfair, and our holiday together was booked before her mum added her to hers. And this is the guy who could effectively get a free trip - and he thinks its unfair. Any external and balanced views are most welcome. It would just be nice to know what other people thought, instead of burying and accepting I have just one week with her when I'd do anything to share a full two in her company. Thank you to anyone who made it this far, lol! :)

• Answer:

  Wowzers that was long and I still feel like I'm missing some info but its enough. Her mum probably wasnt thinking about her holiday she was jsut thinking of her daughter who at the time was upset. It probably was a bit sudden of her to do. Your girlfriends idea is amazing. A week is still a week away together which will still be amazing. A whole week relaxing with your girlfriend and being romantic then some relaxing time with your mate. It will be fine, I promise!