Need Help Making Friends?

I need help making friends?

• Ok so here's my problem...When I was in high school I only had a small group of friends that i'd actually hang out with and talk to after school. Unfortunately that group of friends betrayed me in the 11th grade and I just stopped talking to them ever since. Since that time I rarely had any friends that I hung out with. Don't get me wrong I had a lot more friends in high school but just not the type that I'd go hang out with or talk to everyday, just basically say whats up to if I see them and that's it. I just turned 20 a week ago and i'm now in college. And I'm having a hard time making friends. My social skills are very weak and I can only seem to talk about 1 topic and that's sports. Thats what got me through high school was talking about sports and playing video games with the group of friends that I had. Well now i'm in college and people my age seem not to like to talk about that everyday nor play video games. I'm also a bit anti social at times. Every time I'm with a group of other friends that I don't know or know that I have nothing in common with I usually just feel awkward around them or like if I don't belong and just try and shy away from them. Sometimes they notice and just avoid hanging out with me or even talking to me. I always feel shy when around a lot of people and feel like people will judge me and think I'm weird so I always try to avoid social situations. At the time I didn't really care if I didn't have college friends because I still had a couple high school friends that I'd talk too. But now I'm starting to feel lonely because both of those friends went away for college and now have there own things to worry about. I got suspended from college due to low academics and was forced to wait out a semester. I'm planning on going back in the fall. But ever since I've left college my life has been really boring and a living hell. I stay home most of the time and do nothing on weekends because I have no friends to be with. I currently work at a job that I really hate and want to quit but can't because then I'll be left with nothing to do during all this free time that I have. When I'm home I think about what is it about me that people don't like about me? I've noticed people love the type of friends that are the party type and love to do wild things to themselves like drugs and get tattoos and all that. Well I'm not that type of person. And i'm now starting to feel that's probably the only way I can make friends if I become that type of person. I have a facebook account but get no one to talk to me. So I basically made fake accounts and added myself and made those fake accounts to post on my wall so I can seem a little bit popular and attract some of the real friends I have on facebook. Right now its been working and I'm getting some people to hit me up cause they think I'm popular and a different person. But the problem is I'm not and now feel nervous every time they ask me if I can come hang out with them because all the fake things I posted wasn't the type of person I am. I recently got invited to go to a baseball game with my old friends but now I'm thinking of not even going because there gonna think I'm the guy I'm really not. So my question is what should I do? I honestly don't think I'll be able to act like the person they think I am and feel like I'll probably be awkward again when i'm around them. This to me is the only way I can make friends because my own personally seems not to attract other people into hanging out with me. People viewed me as being weird and a lowlife and honestly I just couldn't stand having no friends and feeling like a loser anymore. My life is really boring and now I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want friends to hangout with and talk to everyday but I'm having a hard to with that. I'm in need of some advice if any.

• Answer:

  I'm glad to see you aren't the partying type. It's nice knowing there is still a small percentage that don't do that. I'm a graduating (in two weeks) senior, and I had your problem for the first few weeks of college, until I finally got sick of it and decided to go to a local church. I don't know if you are religious or not, and honestly, it really doesn't matter. If you are uncomfortable going to church, I would try getting in with a Christian group on your campus. Sometimes these groups can be clique-ish just like any other group of people, but in my experience, Christian groups tend to be much more accepting of everyone. Also, you won't have to worry about being pressure into going partying and drinking. As fun as many people think they have (if they can even remember) while partying, it will eventually catch up with them. Unfortunately I've known far too many party-ers, and they only want to be friends if you will party with them. Once you don't wanna party and drink anymore, they magically don't talk to you anymore. Good solid Christian-folk tend to stick around. Most of them have a solid head on their shoulders and are willing to go out of their way to help others. The most important piece of advice I can give though, is to be willing and courageous enough to show up at a group and introduce yourself to a couple people. Don't wait for others to introduce themselves, you take the initiative and you will find some friends! Best of luck and God Bless! You could also try joining some intramural sports programs since you said you are into sports!