Thesis statement for the chrysalids?

Help with thesis statement!?

• I'm terrible at essay, and I'm even worst at writing thesis statements. I just want to make sure my thesis statement is clear and noticeable, and if not please help me create one. My essay is about comparing US education to other countries. Here is the opening paragraph with the thesis statement: America, one of the world’s biggest superpowers, but what makes us so great? It definitely isn't our education. America has been the biggest contribution to new ideas, inventions, and many more, yet the education system in America isn't working, we are failing behind to other countries. Now, the best is slowly declining and smaller countries like Sweden and Japan, are achieving more academically, than the great United States. With the growing world and life as we know it getting harder, what can this country do to bring education back up? This is the thesis statement: America has been the biggest contribution to new ideas, inventions, and many more, yet the education system in America isn't working, we are failing behind to other countries. Any suggestion/feedback?

• Answer:

  A thesis statement is almost always a single direct sentence without any of the arguments or evidence that will appear in the essay. Therefore, "The failure of the education system in America is causing us to fall behind other countries." would be a better thesis statement. Also, your paragraph has several English grammar errors - proofread closely. For example, its should say "America is one of the world’s biggest superpowers, but what makes us so great? It definitely isn't our educational system. America has been the biggest contributor of new ideas, inventions,....."