Does anybody know a speech on Student Council Election?

I need some joke ideas to put in my Student Council election speech?

• So I am running for Junior Representative and i want to add some jokes so i can make my speech more interesting and captivate my peers attention.If you can give some examples or ideas that would help a lot.my goal is just to make people laugh and remember when they vote.I am also going to put what I am going to help as Junior rep. but I am running against 2 other people.So all the things we say we are going to, they won't remember who even said it.So, if anyone has any ideas to make my speech more interesting would help.

• Answer:

  On April 26, 1983, Matthew Fraser, a Pierce County, Washington high school senior, gave a speech nominating classmate Jeff Kuhlman for Associated Student Body Vice President. The speech was full of humor. "I know a man who is firm - he's firm in his pants, he's firm in his shirt, his character is firm - but most [of] all, his belief in you the students of Bethel, is firm. Jeff Kuhlman is a man who takes his point and pounds it in. If necessary, he'll take an issue and nail it to the wall. He doesn't attack things in spurts - he drives hard, pushing and pushing until finally - he succeeds. Jeff is a man who will go to the very end - even the climax, for each and every one of you. So please vote for Jeff Kuhlman, as he'll never come between us and the best our school can be. He is firm enough to give it everything." [Long pause after the word "come" on oral delivery, but no comma in the written version, according to Matthew N Fraser]