How does the scream (painting) portray alienation, confusion, identity etc?

Gender identity confusion?

• I’ve been confused about this for awhile now. I was never much of a girl compared to the rest of the women in my family or the girls I was friends with. When I was little, I would always destroy any kind of doll or doll house I would get and always try to walk around with my shirt off. I never thought much about it until now. I remember fighting and crying/ throwing tantrums when ever I was forced to wear dresses and wear make up because my cousin (let’s call her Emily) always wanted a little sister and I was forced to play the role. I dreaded hanging out with her, unlike my other cousin (let’s call him Mark). I always hung around him. I remember wrestling with him, watching him play his video games and throwing footballs together. When I was about 10, puberty started to happen. They were small changes, but they were still changes I didn’t and still don’t really like. I remember when I was 12 and got my first period and I cried for about a half an hour to an hour because I didn’t want it. Around this time, my family tried to get me into girly stuff like make-up, dresses, bras, etc. They say that when I find a boy I really liked, that I would become girly and actually act like a girl, but I have liked guys and a few girls before, but I still feel the same. Now that I’m 14, I came out as a transgender male and my friends are completely fine with me about it. But last Friday I wrote a note to the guidance councilor explaining to him how I felt about myself being born a girl and other related topics. I forgot to put my name on the note. -_- I just put the note by the guidance office door and walked away. He then later called me into his office, he said he received a note with no name on it and had been calling people into his office all day and he wanted to know if it was from me or anyone I knew. I became nervous and afraid that he would call my family and tell them, so I lied and said no. Ever since I’ve been really confused. When I’m in class, I can’t help but look around the room at everyone. Everyone seems to know who they are, but me. I don’t fit in with the girls and I don’t exactly fit in with the guys either. Ever since the 7th grade, I made up my mind that I’m not going to prom or any other big dress up events if I have to wear a dress and high heels. I don’t feel comfortable with myself being a girl. I like being called sir or mister and prefer suits to dresses. But the part that confuses me is that I have a hard time imagining myself as an old man. The thought of being a man excites me, but I just can’t see myself doing any surgeries or any other “big” change to become fully male. I just don’t feel like I fit in with anyone.

• Answer:

  The thought of being a transman is overwhelming...and can take some time getting used to (that's how it was for me because I didn't accept myself for a long time but maybe that's not your case). Plan B is you could have no gender, meaning you don't like to be called man or woman, but as you said you like being called a sir and all kind've makes me feel like that's not you. No one likes the thought of growing old as anything when they're young. Surgery is also a big step in a transman's life, you don't have to do it you know. Whatever final thought you think of this is absolutely alright, the ones who love you will still love you no matter what.